Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In bed with Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
Well that is funny. So you have sense of humor after all.
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Sexism≠ Funny
Sexism = sad excuse for having a tiny penis
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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09-18-2011, 02:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker
Sexist Biatches take note on:
Ephesians 5:25-33
Colossians 3:19
Genesis 2:18, 20-24 < the rib bone represented equality between man and woman
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Really? Let's see what it says:
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
Genesis 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
Genesis 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
Genesis 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Hmmm, it doesn't mention equal ANYTHING. Weird, huh?
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 49
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Investigating Buddha's Workout Schedule
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
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That pretty much means equal..
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In bed with Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
Really? Let's see what it says:
(Genesis 2:18-20) "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him."
Hmmm, it doesn't mention equal ANYTHING. Weird, huh?
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
Posted via Mobile Device
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So are you saying that these scriptures magically cancel each other out?
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker
Sexism≠ Funny
Sexism = sad excuse for having a tiny penis
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Are you calling word of God sexist?
Ephesians 5:23-24 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
By the way, using that very fresh "oh well, you have a tiny penis" argument is very sexist itself. Are there some issues you like to share with us?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In bed with Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
Are you calling word of God sexist?
Ephesians 5:23-24 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
By the way, using that very fresh "oh well, you have a tiny penis" argument is very sexist itself. Are there some issues you like to share with us?
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IDK but you may wanna sort out the problem with you 4 CM penis
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyAmazingMonkeyGod
That pretty much means equal..
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"Cleave" in this case means to come together as one (as opposed to the "cleave" which means to cut apart). How can a single unit be equal? It takes two to be equal.
Use your noggin!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker
So are you saying that these scriptures magically cancel each other out?
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Not sure what you are talking about. There are no discrepancies or errors or conflicts or etc. etc. in the Bible, so your question is patently ridiculous.
YiC,
Z. Smyth
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker
IDK but you may wanna sort out the problem with you 4 CM penis
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Aww. I'm sorry. I did not know you were that insecure.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker
IDK but you may wanna sort out the problem with you 4 CM penis
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What is your fascination with tallywackers? Get your mind out of the gutter.
(Jude 1:7) "Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire."
YiC,
Z. Smyth
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 49
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Investigating Buddha's Workout Schedule
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:22 AM
[QUOTE=Alphonse Alban;797395]Ephesians 5:23-24 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Now, where in the bible does it say that you can treat her like sh*t?
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:28 AM
[QUOTE=MyAmazingMonkeyGod;797403]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
Ephesians 5:23-24 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Now, where in the bible does it say that you can treat her like (poop)?
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Where has a True Christian™ specifically said he would treat his wife like poop?
And please don't confuse God's biblical instructions with your secular "morality" (sic).
YiC,
Z. Smyth
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyAmazingMonkeyGod
Now, where in the bible does it say that you can treat her like sh*t?
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What are you talking about? You have really missed the point. Letting woman get out of her place would be treating her like shit. I want her to go to heaven. Husband is the head of the wife and wife will submit to her husband. If it were not so, it would be against the will of God and she would not be able to enter the heaven. That would be treating wife like shit.
Anyway, this is a Joke section. So if you do not posses thing called humor, then move along square, there is nothing for you to see here.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In bed with Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:35 AM
Here I have a hilarious joke
Funnyshit 1:25 Thou havth been a douche and Alphonse Alban Sucks Smyths Cock In hell
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 49
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Investigating Buddha's Workout Schedule
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:38 AM
So, you want her to go to heaven, so you make her do all the work while as you sit on your ass, drinking beers. Wow, you're sooooooooooooooo going to heaven with her.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker
Here I have a hilarious joke
Funnyshit 1:25 Thou havth been a douche and Alphonse Alban Sucks Smyths Cock In hell
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I don't get it.
Are you going to put the funny part in a subsequent post?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: In bed with Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 02:46 AM
Here I have more funny jokes:
Things men can't do
Scratch their ass
Make a sandwich
use the tv
be responsible
non laziness
drive a car
using their brain
Peeing on the toilet
keeping the house clean
being nice
I could post more but I'm a lazy bastard of a man like the rest of you
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 03:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishsucker
Here I have more funny jokes:
Things men can't do
Peeing on the toilet
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I admit I've never tried to pee on the toilet, I just pee in it, but I think I could pee on it if I wanted to. That wouldn't be very nice of me to do to my wife though, since she'd have to clean up the mess.
Why do you hate women so much?
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 03:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
I admit I've never tried to pee on the toilet, I just pee in it, but I think I could pee on it if I wanted to. That wouldn't be very nice of me to do to my wife though, since she'd have to clean up the mess.
Why do you hate women so much?
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Brother Enoch, I believe it's because the devil worshipers show their weakness around women, who in turn spurn them for their foppish ways, and that engenders a reactionary hatred of women in general.
Sad.
YiC,
Zech
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 03:11 AM
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash, revolting hatemonger
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Posts: 41
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Godless Scotland
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Re: Manly Jokes -
09-18-2011, 11:33 PM
What do you call a pig crossed with a woman : me
A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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