Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer
I'm sure those horridly hard bench seats were commissioned by Pastor Zeke to prevent certain people from falling asleep during his marathon sermons.
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Oddly enough, those were the brainchild of Brother FM Fred, whose business savvy shines like a light of heaven. He had observed that fast food restaurants with uncomfortable chairs saw a faster table turnover rate as people finished their meals quickly, then departed to make room for other customers. Seeing how this could apply to delivering the Word to more people, he approached Pastor Zeke and pitched the idea, then even offered a closed bid to supply the pews himself.
And it worked! Donations were up 49% within the first month, reflecting an increase in Walk-In Salvation. The revolving doors that were added 6 months later weren't quite as helpful in bringing sinners to God, increasing donations a mere 2%. Just goes to show, you can't save every soul, no matter how fast you get them in and out.