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Reload this Page How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost!
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 08-03-2012, 03:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TinaSantafe View Post
Well, I haven't made the videos yet. Right now, I do webcam stripping; there, I have to perform alone because of the rules of the company I strip for, but other than that, I'll kinda do almost whatever the customer wants. However, I'm seeing about getting my foot in the door with porn at which point I'll be making more 'hard core' videos. I just want to make sure that as carnal as my videos get, I'll still be able to repent later and accept Jesus.
Like I said, I'll need to see your wares before I can be certain that your last minute repentance would take with Jesus. Hit that email link at the bottom of my signature and let's talk.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Deaner Deaner is offline
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Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 08-31-2012, 02:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gloria View Post
My son said he just found Jesus, and that he was behind the sofa the whole time! Ha ha ha, kids say the darndest things. But now you have to excuse me, I have to go whoop his little blasphemous butt!!!
Most likely found a chunk of hash that he ate.

PS. Just had a look at your profile Gloria. Fuck, you're ugly.
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Jewishdevil666 Jewishdevil666 is offline
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 12-19-2012, 01:07 AM

Well thanks all here. I will admit that originally I came hear to troll but I realized how unchristian this is and I resolved to stop. Thanks and God bless.
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(#44)
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Helizabeth Waiting for Email Confirmation Helizabeth is offline
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-14-2013, 05:34 PM

Is it possible for a person like me, who is setting apart from catholicism, to be saved?

What can be done?

God bless you for your work
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(#45)
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-15-2013, 03:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Helizabeth View Post
Is it possible for a person like me, who is setting apart from catholicism, to be saved?

What can be done?

God bless you for your work
Thru Christ, all things are possible. Even a bead-counting papist like you could be washed clean in Christ's blood.

Do you have any credit cards? American dollars? Gold fillings?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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(#46)
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Helizabeth Waiting for Email Confirmation Helizabeth is offline
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-15-2013, 05:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Do you have any credit cards? American dollars? Gold fillings?
Is it important for Christ?
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(#47)
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-15-2013, 05:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Helizabeth View Post
Is it important for Christ?
Oh yes, quite important. The Bible says you can't jip Jesus.

Quote:
Mal 3:8 Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Helizabeth Waiting for Email Confirmation Helizabeth is offline
Unsaved trash, papist whore
 
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-15-2013, 06:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Oh yes, quite important. The Bible says you can't jip Jesus.
I'm not allowed by my father to have any credit cards. =(
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(#49)
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Levi Jones Levi Jones is offline
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Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Levi Jones will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-15-2013, 06:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Helizabeth View Post
I'm not allowed by my father to have any credit cards. =(
It's okay. We wouldn't take one from you even if you offered. You have to show yourself to be truly Saved before we would consider you for Church membership. Once you had joined, we would get access to your bank account and a power of attorney to take 10% of your gross income.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Helizabeth Waiting for Email Confirmation Helizabeth is offline
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-15-2013, 06:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones View Post
(...) You have to show yourself to be truly Saved before we would consider you for Church membership.(...)
And what do I do to get saved?
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(#51)
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Bob4God Bob4God is offline
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-15-2013, 06:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Helizabeth View Post
And what do I do to get saved?
Start by reading the first page of this thread.



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


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johnsmith111 johnsmith111 is offline
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johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-21-2013, 06:05 PM

so you guys only worship Jesus?

Mary, the saints, the pope guy are nobodies
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Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-21-2013, 06:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnsmith111 View Post
so you guys only worship Jesus?
YES!!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by johnsmith111 View Post
Mary, the saints, the pope guy are nobodies
Quite the contrary: Mary was an acceptable birth vessel for Our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Pope is a child-molesting charlatan.



YiC,

Zech


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johnsmith111 johnsmith111 is offline
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johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-22-2013, 04:00 PM

Is this a cruel joke on mankind...............Jesus is real, but he is literally real because I can go out in the street tell Jesus to send me a sign and he sends me a car magnet with Jesus on it.

So Jesus proved to me that he is real.

Is it that the antichrist mind control is so great that people are not able to realize this truth ?

I mean I was under strong mind control going to public school and catholic high school and watching TV........

So when a person is under sin they are under mind control, once one avoids sin then they enter a new realm, Gods side. So sort of spiritual realm.
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-23-2013, 12:57 AM

You need to stop swallowing LSD like it is popcorn and start making some sense. Christianity is based on faith! You need to realize Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior even without explicit proof!


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.johnsmith111 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 01-23-2013, 03:05 AM

Jesus he'll never let you down hes calling you to follow him......his sheep they know his voice, they enter in through the narrow gate.
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 05-08-2013, 12:37 AM

I just found this site and I am begging on my knees like the dirty sinning bastard that I am for someone to save me.

I am a homosexual, atheist, and I shop at Wal-Mart...How do I repent all my sins so I don't burn in hell like all the Jews and Muslims?

I realized I need to change my sinful life style when I voted for Obama.

Please, I need god now more than ever...please help me.
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Angry Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 05-08-2013, 12:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brysonislife View Post
I just found this site and I am begging on my knees like the dirty sinning bastard that I am for someone to save me.

I am a homosexual, atheist, and I shop at Wal-Mart...How do I repent all my sins so I don't burn in hell like all the Jews and Muslims?

I realized I need to change my sinful life style when I voted for Obama.

Please, I need god now more than ever...please help me.
Sounds to me like you need to hook up with you Goshen frineds.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 05-08-2013, 12:44 AM

What's wrong with Wal-Mart? It's convenient, affordable, and the owners don't kowtow to the liberal, lazy employees who would rather whine to the media about poverty levels than actually work hard.

Anyway, to answer your question dear, simply read the first post in this thread, then find yourself a nice King James Bible (available inexpensively at your local Wal-Mart), and read it with an open mind and open heart. Listen to the sound of Jesus knocking at your heart's door. Then let Him in!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! - 05-08-2013, 03:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Oh yes, quite important. The Bible says you can't jip Jesus.
I always thought of that term spelled "gyp" in the sense that gypsies are the ones who would steal from you.
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