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Reload this Page my friend is have more problem
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-23-2007, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Hitoshi View Post
okay this is advice very good. may be is landover lady who is like for help my friend? no fatty and must be willing for move to Japan when he is finish school.
There are no fat ladies at Landover, Hitachi!

Perhaps you would like to put an ad in the personals section, describing your friend, what assets he has to offer to a fine Christian lady, and how he plans to go about converting to True Christianity.

Naturally, until he is accepted as a member at Landover, no Landover Lady's father will permit her to marry him.
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-23-2007, 11:04 PM
It's disgusting enough to know that L'il Yellow Slant-Eyes here is breathing God's glorious oxygen. O.K., so I guess we need those yellow heathens to make cameras, do laundry, and drive badly. But to consider that his little yellow fingers type his sinful thoughts on God's Favorite Web Site is an abomination.

Jesus weeps.... (through normal-shaped eye sockets).
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-23-2007, 11:25 PM
Asian people dont really have yellow skin...i have a friend that is asian and her skin isnt exactly yellow..


<--these guys, on the other hand....
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-23-2007, 11:47 PM
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Originally Posted by mollychu View Post
Asian people dont really have yellow skin...i have a friend that is asian and her skin isnt exactly yellow..
<--these guys, on the other hand....
Would your Asian friend like to meat Hibachi's horny friend? They could marry, and make much good loving.
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 12:24 AM
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Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Would your Asian friend like to meat Hibachi's horny friend? They could marry, and make much good loving.

uhm. what does that have anything to do with anything?
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 12:30 AM
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Originally Posted by mollychu View Post
uhm. what does that have anything to do with anything?
Well, this thread IS about Hibachi's friend, who has a problem with his horniness and trying to conquer it in a Christian manner. If you scroll back to the beginning, you'll see!

Oh, I'm sorry. Did YOU want to marry Hiroshima's horny friend?
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 12:35 AM
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Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Did YOU want to marry Hiroshima's horny friend?
Nononono. i wanna marry jordi, the cute guy in my band class....
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 12:39 AM
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Nononono. i wanna marry jordi, the cute guy in my band class....
Then maybe your little Asian friend can satisfy marry Horndogito's horny pal!
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 02:01 AM
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Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Then maybe your little Asian friend can satisfy marry Horndogito's horny pal!
And she can marry Horndogito! He may be a Godless little Japaninny heathen, but at least he's interested in women, and not a flute-playing metrosexual fruitcake who spells his name with an "i".

Edit: Ok, maybe he does spell his name with an "i". You know what I mean.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 02:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
And she can marry Horndogito! He may be a Godless little Japaninny heathen, but at least he's interested in women, and not a flute-playing metrosexual fruitcake who spells his name with an "i".

Edit: Ok, maybe he does spell his name with an "i". You know what I mean.
Oh.

no you didnt.


i love jordi. hes my best friend. he is VERY much straight. and he doesnt play the flute, he plays the clarinet...

And he cant help whats on his birth certificate either.....
i personally love the name jordi. its so cute. and its cute on him too <3
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 02:49 AM
Brother Temperence,

Do you mind if I ask what your name is? I'm sure we could somehow connect it to something homosexual. I'm sure you wouldn't like that.
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 02:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
Brother Temperence,

Do you mind if I ask what your name is? I'm sure we could somehow connect it to something homosexual. I'm sure you wouldn't like that.
God and the moderators will smite thee for uttering such things... tsk

When you get to quarantine, tell all those others hi.

"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 03:34 AM
What, I was just trying to prove a point. Just because someone's parents gave them a weird name doesn't mean that they are gay...
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
What, I was just trying to prove a point. Just because someone's parents gave them a weird name doesn't mean that they are gay...
Perhaps you weren't aware of God's "10 generations" policy....

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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by mollychu View Post
Oh.

no you didnt.
No I "didnt" what?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces
Brother Temperence,

Do you mind if I ask what your name is?

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: my friend is have more problem - 01-24-2007, 06:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
Brother Temperence,

Do you mind if I ask what your name is?
Um . . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
What, I was just trying to prove a point. Just because someone's parents gave them a weird name doesn't mean that they are gay...
No, it's very difficult for two gay people to become parents, unless they adopt or use a "surrogate" (that is, a harlot). They could, however, be sick liebral weirdos.
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