Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 12:39 AM
I am have friend is too much horny. (is same friend who was got herpe) he is alway think about panty and naked fun. he is not concentration for school and is get poor grade and bring great shame to himself and family. he is need help for not think about girl and hank panky only home work. SERIOUS only please.
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 12:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
I am have friend is too much horny. (is same friend who was got herpe) he is alway think about panty and naked fun. he is not concentration for school and is get poor grade and bring great shame to himself and family. he is need help for not think about girl and hank panky only home work. SERIOUS only please.
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Why don't you cut his penis off and sell it in restaurants like you do back home you disgusting chink. From what I heard you get a fair buck for them. You could go buy some speech lessons.
Dean
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 12:55 AM
How many times do I need to explain to you dim slants? God is very clear on what to do in this situation:
Numbers 15:38 Speak unto the children of Israel, and bid them that they make them fringes in the borders of their garments throughout their generations, and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribband of blue:
39 And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the LORD, and do them ; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring:
40 That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God.
Just tell your evil Japamonkey friend sew blue ribbons onto the fringes of his clothes, then he will not think about the lusts of his eyes and going whoring, but just think about doing God's work instead. However, I would advise you to warn him that, should he get mixed up (which is always a danger for a backwards nip) and think about "God panty" or "God hanky panky", Our Lord will instantly smite him for blasphemy, and rightly so! Which would at least solve his horniness problem, I suppose.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
How many times do I need to explain to you dim slants? God is very clear on what to do in this situation:
Numbers 15:38 Speak unto the children of Israel, and bid them that they make them fringes in the borders of their garments throughout their generations, and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribband of blue:
39 And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the LORD, and do them ; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring:
40 That ye may remember, and do all my commandments, and be holy unto your God.
Just tell your evil Japamonkey friend sew blue ribbons onto the fringes of his clothes, then he will not think about the lusts of his eyes and going whoring, but just think about doing God's work instead. However, I would advise you to warn him that, should he get mixed up (which is always a danger for a backwards nip) and think about "God panty" or "God hanky panky", Our Lord will instantly smite him for blasphemy, and rightly so! Which would at least solve his horniness problem, I suppose.
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my friend is not have blue ribbons. may be you loan him your ribbon for first place dummy and first place ugly. thanks for big help. my friend get better advice from monkey.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
my friend is not have blue ribbons. may be you loan him your ribbon for first place dummy and first place ugly. thanks for big help. my friend get better advice from monkey.
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If you knew that, then why did you bother asking on here rather than going directly to the zoo?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
thanks for big help. my friend get better advice from monkey.
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Ignorant nip. The last time you japs didn't listen to white Christians we melted your country. You'd think you had learned.
Dean
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
If you knew that, then why did you bother asking on here rather than going directly to the zoo?
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You make no sense. I was not know until he give me answer. so why I am go for zoo before I know what is answer I get. You are need stop stare at my picture and concetrate baby.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
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Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:19 AM
Well, if you've had quality answers from monkeys in the past why not go to them again? It seems that asking for advice here is never a good idea!
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Ignorant nip. The last time you japs didn't listen to white Christians we melted your country. You'd think you had learned.
Dean
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I learn American have no honor and not fight like man. you bring great shame to yourself for sneak attack on two great Japanese city.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:40 AM
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
And in case you forget, boy, the Godly U.S. Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines are STILL occupying your third-world island to this day. Step out of line, and those villages we incinerated 60 years ago will look like a picnic.
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can american stop think about food for one minute?
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 07:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
can american stop think about food for one minute?
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Dear yellow monkey. Americans are the healthiest people in the world for one reason. We don't eat raw fish and pickled bug testicles. We eat Delicious and nutritious fast food. Learn to speak English now, Hirohito! Say "SUPERSIZE ME".
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,437
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 12:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
I learn American have no honor and not fight like man. you bring great shame to yourself for sneak attack on two great Japanese city.
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You yourself seem to have no faith in anything. You have already violated many of the seven laws of Bushido... In just this thread you've violated Gi, Jin, Rei, Makoto, and Meiyo. Perhaps it's time for seppuku?
あなたは名誉〔尊敬〕を失いました。
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 01:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Hirohito! Say "SUPERSIZE ME".
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How about I say it for him, Pastor? He'd probably only mispronounce it anyway.
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Rock Worshipper
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,083
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Flat Rock, MN
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 03:36 PM
Well look what followed the cat in (with a net trying to catch it for lunch rush)
Quote:
my friend get better advice from monkey
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If you already gave him advice, why come here and pollute the internets tubes?
I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!
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True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
my friend is not have blue ribbons. may be you loan him your ribbon for first place dummy and first place ugly. thanks for big help. my friend get better advice from monkey.
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Where's bobo when we need him?
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 10:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Dear yellow monkey. Americans are the healthiest people in the world for one reason. We don't eat raw fish and pickled bug testicles. We eat Delicious and nutritious fast food. Learn to speak English now, Hirohito! Say "SUPERSIZE ME".
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first respect please. am I call you white gorilla? no! please no yellow monkey. RESPECT please.
second I am start thread for advice for friend who is too much horny. I am not start thread for advice on how become fat American. If I want become fat American I start eat sloppy joe and make inferior electronic product and car. ANYONE can be like american. only people who are have discipline can be like Japanese.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 143
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-22-2007, 10:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Dear yellow monkey. Americans are the healthiest people in the world for one reason. We don't eat raw fish and pickled bug testicles. We eat Delicious and nutritious fast food. Learn to speak English now, Hirohito! Say "SUPERSIZE ME".
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...-cough- Nutritious fast food?
I eat sushi and i'm not japanese/any asian decent. its rather good. some of it isnt really raw, just smoked.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,437
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 12:16 AM
あなたはなぜ質問に答えませんか? あなたの友人は常に欲情しないために趣味を必要としています。
あなたの名誉〔尊敬〕はどこにありますか?
賛美歌137:1 バビロンの川のそばで、そこで、私たちはダウン(肯定)を受けて、シオン〔イスラエル人〕を覚えていた時、 泣きました。
The above 137:1 is in reference to Psalms 137:1
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
Last edited by Rev. Dr. Davidson; 01-23-2007 at 12:19 AM.
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Devout seeker of the Truth™
True Christian™
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Posts: 636
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: my friend is have more problem -
01-23-2007, 12:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Dr. Davidson
あなたはなぜ質問に答えませんか? あなたの友人は常に欲情しないために趣味を必要としています。
あなたの名誉〔尊敬〕はどこにありますか?
賛美歌137:1 バビロンの川のそばで、そこで、私たちはダウン(肯定)を受けて、シオン〔イスラエル人〕を覚えていた時、 泣きました。
The above 137:1 is in reference to Psalms 137:1
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You are lucky I am not a moderator here or I would ban you right now for posting Satanic gibberish. We speak American here as that is GOD's favorite language, we do not use nipspeak here.
The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
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