Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Apparently not part of the domestic staff; suspected academic
Forum Member
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Posts: 461
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: University of Iowa
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-21-2016, 11:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Retarded Swedish Chef bork bork bork
1. Lady, I can't explain to you what my morals are bc you don't want to understand. There is no point in explaining to any of you people bc you all believe you are right. Don't even try to argue, we all know I'm right on this one. Oh, wait byou have to argue, since you are right, my bad.
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Yep, you're a perfect candidate for the Landover Baptist Church. You have the perfect mindset for that - the "I'm always right" attitude.
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2. Stop twisting sh*t. But knowing you, why am I even asking?
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Since you still do not reply to specific chunks of text, nope, I have no idea and no patience to determine it, either.
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4. I don't believe I'm special. Few people are. Nor am I arogant. I was stating a fact. What I mean was that a person who is not emotionaly involved in an incident can most likly figure out what happened better then if you use you're emotions. Look at court. Duh.
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Judging on your grammar and spelling, which are even worse then usually, I conclude that you are, in fact, deeply emotionally involved and therefore -- according to your own argument -- unable to look at things objectively.
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6. Okay, my cards are out. I don't support religion. Its all evil and sh*t. But you know what? Every singel human on the round planet is evil.
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Wow, that's a sad way of looking at humanity!
I'm afraid I will. My faith in God is still lacking.
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pps. There is no god
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Did you try telling your girlfriend that?
John 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
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Unsaved trash, possibly some kind of gay
Under Investigation
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Posts: 12
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Plotting agains Jesus and all that is good
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-22-2016, 03:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Delacroix
My youngest son, Jacob Delacroix, has brought shame upon his father's name for having remained celibate for so long! In 2 months time he will be 18 and he isn't even courting a young lady yet. The neighbors are starting to talk...
I continue to pray hard and lash him with the switch as often as I can, but nothing has worked so far! His father passed away so I cannot seek his help either.
Brothers and Sisters of Landover, what can I do? I'm beginning to suspect my son may be a queer...
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sister im sad to say but hes probably like me there is nothing left u can do
This space for KJV Bible use only. -Admin
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-22-2016, 03:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay
sister im sad to say but hes probably like me there is nothing left u can do
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That's not true. She can spank the gay away!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-22-2016, 09:01 AM
It's much more important for women to get married early. Men can provide ample seed for copulation well into their 60s. God allowed Abraham to have a child at age 100 (Genesis 17:17).
Every 11 months a girl delays getting married after age 13 is another lost opportunity for a Christian Warrior to be conceived, carried to term, and brought into the world to slaughter numerous classes of people for Christ. Add a month or two for the mother to recover from birthing, and she's ready to reload and fire out another.
From age 14 to age 40, a dutiful, Godly and conscientious woman should be able to produce 28 children-- unless God blesses her with twins or triplets.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-22-2016, 06:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
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This is so inspiring! I knew it could be done to female Asiatics (and according to my research on Asian perversion, done in reverse to make them lesbian), but I was dubious as to its effectiveness on actual people. Especially actual male people.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Unsaved trash, retarded IKEA waste
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Posts: 71
Join Date: May 2016
Location: 0.o
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-25-2016, 11:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Dolores de Barriga
Yep, you're a perfect candidate for the Landover Baptist Church. You have the perfect mindset for that - the "I'm always right" attitude.
Since you still do not reply to specific chunks of text, nope, I have no idea and no patience to determine it, either.
Judging on your grammar and spelling, which are even worse then usually, I conclude that you are, in fact, deeply emotionally involved and therefore -- according to your own argument -- unable to look at things objectively.
Wow, that's a sad way of looking at humanity!
I'm afraid I will. My faith in God is still lacking.
Did you try telling your girlfriend that?
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I love you
I know what this is now.
I love this
And no sadly don't have a girlfriend
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-25-2016, 11:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retarded Swedish Chef bork bork bork
I love you
I know what this is now.
I love this
And no sadly don't have a girlfriend
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Dear Chef,
This is a Forum frequented also by Women and Children who must be deeply disturbed if you continue cruising for mates in fornication. I am also quite sure that Ms. Barriga is not interested in committing sins of the flesh with you! Moreover, I am fairly certain that you must have misunderstood Ms. Barriga's friendly tone for a pickup venue!
Romans 1:26
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
I am sure that the sodomite community can find partners in sin elsewhere. Please, accept Jesus and discard this unnatural "love" towards other females.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Unsaved trash, retarded IKEA waste
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Posts: 71
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Location: 0.o
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-25-2016, 12:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Dear Chef,
This is a Forum frequented also by Women and Children who must be deeply disturbed if you continue cruising for mates in fornication. I am also quite sure that Ms. Barriga is not interested in committing sins of the flesh with you! Moreover, I am fairly certain that you must have misunderstood Ms. Barriga's friendly tone for a pickup venue!
Romans 1:26
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
I am sure that the sodomite community can find partners in sin elsewhere. Please, accept Jesus and discard this unnatural "love" towards other females.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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No worries, not gay for her, just spreading my love. Love u 2
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,207
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-25-2016, 12:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retarded Swedish Chef bork bork bork
No worries, not gay for her, just spreading my love. Love u 2
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Hello Chef,
That surely is one of the nicer things of not being Christian. Luke 14:26 doesn`t compel you to hate instead of love.
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Unsaved trash, retarded IKEA waste
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Posts: 71
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-25-2016, 01:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland
Hello Chef,
That surely is one of the nicer things of not being Christian. Luke 14:26 doesn`t compel you to hate instead of love.
Kind regards,
Roland
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Greaty great
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-25-2016, 03:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland
Hello Chef,
That surely is one of the nicer things of not being Christian. Luke 14:26 doesn`t compel you to hate instead of love.
Kind regards,
Roland
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You pirate types don't understand what True Love™ even is. Only True Christians™ have the kind of love that comes from the Holy Ghost, and that means it's perfect, and that kind that is everlasting. People like you who reject the Saving Grace of Christ the Lord thy God feel what they *think* is love, but it's really just confusion. Or indigestion.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, retarded IKEA waste
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Posts: 71
Join Date: May 2016
Location: 0.o
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-25-2016, 03:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
You pirate types don't understand what True Love™ even is. Only True Christians™ have the kind of love that comes from the Holy Ghost, and that means it's perfect, and that kind that is everlasting. People like you who reject the Saving Grace of Christ the Lord thy God feel what they *think* is love, but it's really just confusion. Or indigestion.
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K matey. Love u
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Unsaved trash, retarded IKEA waste
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Posts: 71
Join Date: May 2016
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
05-25-2016, 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
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OMPG I got to try that shit with my gay friend. This site is so helpful
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 14
Join Date: Nov 2016
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
11-09-2016, 03:08 PM
I wouldn't immediately jump to conclusions that your son is gay! The bible frowns upon us judging others. I know plenty men who are firm Christian believers who aren't married, in their twenties, and most definitely not gay! If I were you, I would praise the Lord for giving you a son who waits patiently for the Lord to show him the right girl instead of throwing himself at every girls he sees. Be trusting with your son and feel blessed that you have him in the first place.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
11-09-2016, 05:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kylinn0307
The bible frowns upon us judging others.
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You mean, except where the Bible is absolutely clear that it is the privilege and responsibility of the True Christian™ to judge others? Have you ever actually read the Holy Bible? Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty:
but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
Leviticus 19:15
For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
1st Corinthians 5:12-13
Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?
Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?
Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?.
If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church.
I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?
But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers.
1st Corinthians 6:1-6
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 54
Join Date: Nov 2016
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
11-25-2016, 04:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Delacroix
My youngest son, Jacob Delacroix, has brought shame upon his father's name for having remained celibate for so long! In 2 months time he will be 18 and he isn't even courting a young lady yet. The neighbors are starting to talk...
I continue to pray hard and lash him with the switch as often as I can, but nothing has worked so far! His father passed away so I cannot seek his help either.
Brothers and Sisters of Landover, what can I do? I'm beginning to suspect my son may be a queer...
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I believe you should just wait until he find a woman he loves, if you rush him to get an average women he dosen't love it might cause him to be disloyal to her and have lust for other women.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: My youngest son is 17 and doesn't have a wife yet! What can I do? -
11-25-2016, 04:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milkshakecrusader
I believe...
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Who cares? This forum is about what the Bible says God wants, not you.
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