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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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(#21)
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Default 09-21-2006, 10:03 PM

Lar baby! So would I be correct is saying yes, JC does the same for women??

Moon


You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
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Default 09-21-2006, 11:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
Lar baby! So would I be correct is saying yes, JC does the same for women??

Moon
Our Lord Jesus is a hands-on kind of God, but there's nothing more uplifting to a sister's spirit than some private Bible study with a True Man Of God™. But don't take my word for it, stop by my office tommorrow afternoon around 4, and we'll be praising God by 4:30.


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Default 09-22-2006, 12:16 AM

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Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
Our Lord Jesus is a hands-on kind of God, but there's nothing more uplifting to a sister's spirit than some private Bible study with a True Man Of God™. But don't take my word for it, stop by my office tommorrow afternoon around 4, and we'll be praising God by 4:30.
Lar baby, you should be proud of yourself. You're the only Landover man I will actually have a hot and heavy Bible Study with. No one has been able to get me to scream praises as loud as you. We should start our Bible Studies™® and Healings™® all over again...I've really been in need of letting out some serious steam and I know with your classes I always leave refreshed, satifies, and most all...exhaused for some starge reason.

I give you props Lar...you're truely a very gifted man. I'll be there at 4pm and hopefully be able to get an all-nighter, if you're not to busy, of course.

Moon


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Default 09-22-2006, 01:25 AM

Get A Room, You Adulterers!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default 09-22-2006, 01:31 AM

Pa'DADDY, HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT OF ME?!

I'm hurt.
Moon

Ps - He's not married is he?


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Default 09-22-2006, 04:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Get A Room, You Adulterers!
Adultery? Sorry to question you but I don't see where are you getting that from, Pastor. I see a Pastor studying the Bible and praising the Lord with a woman who is in bad need of the Lord's love in her life, nothing about fornication of any kind.
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Default 09-22-2006, 06:08 PM

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Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
Adultery? Sorry to question you but I don't see where are you getting that from, Pastor. I see a Pastor studying the Bible and praising the Lord with a woman who is in bad need of the Lord's love in her life, nothing about fornication of any kind.
Thank you for your input, Brother. Here is a warning point for questioning a pastor.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default 09-22-2006, 06:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Thank you for your input, Brother. Here is a warning point for questioning a pastor.
See, this is is why when the Alpha dog growls, you're supposed to back down....or something bad happens.

Moon


You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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Default 09-23-2006, 12:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
See, this is is why when the Alpha dog growls, you're supposed to back down....or something bad happens.

Moon
AND WHY ARE YOU STILL HAUNTING OUR MANLY MEN-ONLY AREA!?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default 09-24-2006, 08:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Thank you for your input, Brother. Here is a warning point for questioning a pastor.
I like the warning points we have on this board; they appear as big red flags, warning innocent members that the post above was made by a Communist.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 09-25-2006, 08:15 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
AND WHY ARE YOU STILL HAUNTING OUR MANLY MEN-ONLY AREA!?
To bother you.

Moon


You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 09-25-2006, 11:58 PM

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Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
To bother you.

Moon
Moon you are always welcome here


Me
Got Jesus?
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MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 09-26-2006, 12:20 AM

I'd hug you, but you might shoot me....

with all her love,
Moon


You pray...I dance naked in the forest
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 09-26-2006, 01:57 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother_Mike View Post
Moon you are always welcome here
Boy, you need to go take a cold shower, I'd say. Your all mooney-eyed over this unsaved tree-hugging hippie witch.

I certainly hope the 2 weeks in the woods we assigned you will chase some of those demons out of your loins, son. Pray HARD! SHOUT GLORY!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 10-16-2006, 10:13 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I certainly hope the 2 weeks in the woods we assigned you will chase some of those demons out of your loins, son. Pray HARD! SHOUT GLORY!!
Unfortunately, that didn't work out the way that you planned, Pastor. It's such a shame that he ended up like Moon...
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Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 10-16-2006, 09:32 PM

And how exactly is that a BAD thing???

Moon


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Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 10-16-2006, 09:39 PM

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And how exactly is that a BAD thing???

Moon

Is laying in a secularist hospital with an Amish bullet in the brain a good thing Moon?



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 10-16-2006, 11:00 PM

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Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Is laying in a secularist hospital with an Amish bullet in the brain a good thing Moon?

I was responding to the part about him ending up like me. I don't think that's such a horrible thing.

Moon


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Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 11-05-2006, 10:27 PM

i dont give a **** if my hair gets messed up???? u guys are psyhco
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Default Re: Dating Tips for Christian Men - 11-05-2006, 10:36 PM

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Originally Posted by adiaa View Post
i dont give a **** if my hair gets messed up???? u guys are psyhco
And you're borderline illiterate, and almost certainly hellbound. Do you have anything useful to contribute?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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