[Brother Temperance]

While researching homer behaviour for Christ, I was shocked and appalled to discover this description of genuine homer behaviour!

Originally Posted by Study of homer behaviour

...So Ed proved that it wasn't all that bad by calmly flipping his own **** onto the block and hammering a large sterilised, stainless steel needle through the ****head and into the wood. Then, with his **** still firmly attached, he leaned across and tacked down Jim's foreskin with two needles. Soon three needles similarly impaled Lee's scrotum. And finally Mark allowed Ed to nail his ****head to the block

Can anyone still deny that homerism is caused by demon possession?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

While researching homer behaviour for Christ, I was shocked and appalled to discover this description of genuine homer behaviour!
Can anyone still deny that homerism is caused by demon possession?

I DON'T WANT TO READ STUFF LIKE THAT! IT CAUSES MY **** TO SHRIVEL UP AND DISAPPEAR INTO MY ABDOMEN!

[SUV]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

I DON'T WANT TO READ STUFF LIKE THAT! IT CAUSES MY **** TO SHRIVEL UP AND DISAPPEAR INTO MY ABDOMEN!

How many days a week do you read about these sorts of things, Pastor?

(Okay Men, I am leaving. I say, leaving! Going out the door Right now!)

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

While researching homer behaviour for Christ, I was shocked and appalled to discover this description of genuine homer behaviour!
Can anyone still deny that homerism is caused by demon possession?

That is right up their with the extreme piercing I have seen on Homers in their disgusting sex clubs. I tell them Jesus gave them wedding tackle to produce more Christian soldiers, not some place to store their spare bolts. There reply is always "you look hot with that hood sweetie" Jesus sick. I will do what it takes to win souls for Jesus but attacking 10lbs lead weights to my daddy sack is too much!

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

extreme piercing

Just one more reason to keep Homer Simpson away from your John Thomas. He might whip out a tool kit and try to "install a few mods"!!

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by OnYourKnees

Just one more reason to keep Homer Simpson away from your John Thomas. He might whip out a tool kit and try to "install a few mods"!!

Trust me they try that and more to you when you try to spread Christ's Holy Word® in thier sin pits.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe

Trust me they try that and more to you when you try to spread Christ's Holy Word® in thier sin pits.

Perhaps I'll stick to the truck stops and bus stations for a little while longer. Unless you'd care to go witnessing with me, B-J.

While all the safety I need I get by walking with Jesus, they say there are greater potentials for mass conversion with a tag-team partner.

[tommy]

EEEEEW.

This topic is disgusting. Remove it, Jesus!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I myself prefer to do MY research on the female version of sodomites: aka lezbeans. Especially young ones. Who may still have a chance of being Saved.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

I myself prefer to do MY research on the female version of sodomites: aka lezbeans. Especially young ones. Who may still have a chance of being Saved.

As I understand it, males putting tallywhackers into each other's heinies is an abomination unto the Lord, and therefore they are basically assured eternal damnation, but I think more research needs to be done into the leez-beans, Exactly how damned are they? Are they an abomination unto the Lord, or merely a minor annoyance, like a small splinter in His Toe?

Perhaps this is a topic for another Doctorate study....

[Arethusa]

Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

As I understand it, males putting tallywhackers into each other's heinies is an abomination unto the Lord, and therefore they are basically assured eternal damnation, but I think more research needs to be done into the leez-beans, Exactly how damned are they? Are they an abomination unto the Lord, or merely a minor annoyance, like a small splinter in His Toe?

Perhaps this is a topic for another Doctorate study....

Alright then, what if "homers" don't engage in penetration--are they right with the Lord then?

[Larry Lee]

Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

As I understand it, males putting tallywhackers into each other's heinies is an abomination unto the Lord, and therefore they are basically assured eternal damnation, but I think more research needs to be done into the leez-beans, Exactly how damned are they? Are they an abomination unto the Lord, or merely a minor annoyance, like a small splinter in His Toe?

An excellent question, Doctor! One which Paul addresses in his Epistle to the Romans:

even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature (Romans 1:26)

But can we blame the girls?! They had no choice, seeings as how the Eternal City, at the time, was infested with a homerism rivaling that of Sodom, West Hollywood, and the epicenter of Persian pedophilia, Mashhad. The Lord Jesus teaches us love, Dr. Vile, and Christ's love of heterosexuality is what drives us to preach -- and preach again even as it hurts -- the glistening, giddy joy seen in a former lesbian's upturned face, smeared and dripping with the peace that passes understanding. I think you'll agree.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by tommy

EEEEEW.

This topic is disgusting. Remove it, Jesus!

Seeing Tommy's post, with that particular choice of icon, makes me wonder. Perhaps these fellows are working up to following in Jesus™' footsteps, for the most extreme piercing of all?

And Tommy, please don't command our Lord and Savior to do things for you. Remember your "please" and "thank you".

Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

AsI think more research needs to be done into the leez-beans, Exactly how damned are they? Are they an abomination unto the Lord, or merely a minor annoyance, like a small splinter in His Toe?

I'd wager Lezbeans like Dita von Teese are closer to a splinter in His donkey's toe, or perhaps that of His camel!

Rosie O'Donnell, on the other hand . . .

[hellion]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

I DON'T WANT TO READ STUFF LIKE THAT! IT CAUSES MY **** TO SHRIVEL UP AND DISAPPEAR INTO MY ABDOMEN!

Like you have a dick to begin with...

[Brother Love]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

While researching homer behaviour for Christ, I was shocked and appalled to discover this description of genuine homer behaviour!
Can anyone still deny that homerism is caused by demon possession?

What a disgusting SINFUL ABOMINATION!! Brother there is NO DOUBT that homerism and many other VILE SINS on this planet are caused by DEMON POSSESSION!!

[see_the_light]

Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.

As I understand it, males putting tallywhackers into each other's heinies is an abomination unto the Lord, and therefore they are basically assured eternal damnation, but I think more research needs to be done into the leez-beans, Exactly how damned are they? Are they an abomination unto the Lord, or merely a minor annoyance, like a small splinter in His Toe?

Perhaps this is a topic for another Doctorate study....

Those leez-bins are only abomination when they steal your clothes and parade dressed up as MEN.

For their small intimacies those are only strange behaviours that we should expect from those cute but mindless little souls (if any present, I'm not sure..)

Would you call your dog sinful for humping the sofa? Noooo, but you'd get mad if he started using your clothes(or your son's clothes for tha matter)

QED

PRAISE THE LORD

[Virginia Day Templeton]

I already quoted this lovely verse in an unrelated thread, but it seems every bit as appropriate here:

Romans 1:26-27-- Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

If God frowns upon lesbianism--and, indeed, rewards it with disease and damnation--why should we tolerate it simply because we find it "cute?" (ugh!)

Don't wait for them to hop onto motorcycles and start guzzling male hormones till they sprout handlebar moustaches. Witness/stone them NOW and stop the sin while it's still but a seedling.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Oh, no... I seem to have posted in a men-only forum. Will this affect my salvation?

[Gary Templeton]

Damn it woman. Always putting your nose where it doesnt belong. Guess I'll have to whip out the old frying pan tonight..

Gary

[Arethusa]

Originally Posted by Virginia Dentata

Oh, no... I seem to have posted in a men-only forum. Will this affect my salvation?

Not if you tithe! (See Paypal button below.)