General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-15-2016, 02:40 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to the BEST Fiance
a Gal Could Ever Have!
|
|
Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 2,207
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth!, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-15-2016, 04:36 PM
Hello Pastor Zeke,
Happy birthday!
I stole a picture to support my message (It´s a Pirate thing)
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth!, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-15-2016, 05:08 PM
Happy Birthday, Pastor!
Our family saved some money by eating helping at the local charity, so I'll be sending you a wire transfer of $243.55 once our account is released. We'll use the semaphore if this fails. It will help tremendously when you preach the Gospel to the corrupt scum.
I am convinced that by next year we'll see you fighting in Jesus's Troops against all kinds of atheist and sodomite scum come Rapture!
Revelation 19:18
That ye may eat the flesh of kings, and the flesh of captains, and the flesh of mighty men, and the flesh of horses, and of them that sit on them, and the flesh of all men, both free and bond, both small and great.
Won't it be great to see the waters turn into blood, as with the blue of the Firmament and the white clouds it will reflect the colors of Jesus' Favorite nation, the America of Mr. Trump and Pastor Ezekiel!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth!, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-15-2016, 05:16 PM
A most Blessed Birthday, Pastor!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Unsaved trash
|
|
Posts: 193
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Fort Hood, Killeen Texas
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth!, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-15-2016, 06:15 PM
Happy birthday i hope you enjoy it
|
|
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
|
|
Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth!, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-15-2016, 08:11 PM
Wishing you a delightful birthday, Pastor Zeke. We know you are busy right now, advising President-Elect Mr Trump, but we hope to see you among us again very soon indeed.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
|
|
Mayor of Freehold
|
|
Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth!, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-15-2016, 11:02 PM
Even Jesus is celebrating today. Happy Birthday Pastor Zeke.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,440
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-15-2016, 11:53 PM
Has anyone even seen Pastor Zeke lately? I would hate to waste money on a present.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
|
|
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-16-2016, 02:13 AM
OK, this is rumor control:
Yes, I took Pastor Zeke on a road trip to the Prairie Meadows Casino in Altoona, and yes, we both drank a lot of single malt whiskey during the drive, and yes, Pastor is currently in jail with a DUI charge pending against him.
But I want to be very, very, very, VERY clear that the human trafficking charge is completely bogus, and we expect it will soon be dismissed. We thought we were doing a good deed when we offered that girl a ride.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
|
|
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-16-2016, 09:16 AM
I'm willing to break my birthday thread boycott for this special occasion. Happy birthday.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 672
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-16-2016, 10:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
OK, this is rumor control:
Yes, I took Pastor Zeke on a road trip to the Prairie Meadows Casino in Altoona, and yes, we both drank a lot of single malt whiskey during the drive, and yes, Pastor is currently in jail with a DUI charge pending against him.
But I want to be very, very, very, VERY clear that the human trafficking charge is completely bogus, and we expect it will soon be dismissed. We thought we were doing a good deed when we offered that girl a ride.
|
Hey I gave that girl a ride last year. The first time I stopped for her she stole my Rolex, the second time I stopped for her she stole my crocodile skin wallet, the third time I stopped for her, she said "Not you again, you got nothing worth my time".
If she's hanging round the police station giving statements and such please let her know that I have a new watch and wallet.
Phil
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,440
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to the GODLIEST Man on Earth, Pastor Zeke!!!!! -
07-16-2016, 11:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
We thought we were doing a good deed when we offered that girl a ride.
|
You should have known better. She is black so she must be a criminal. I am certain once Donald Trump and that guy whose name I keep forgetting defeat Clinton in a landslide, Trump's wall keep all these criminals out for good.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|