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Default $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 10:58 AM

This grinning Billionaire Slant may look happy; he may think himself a good parent but clearly he has little faith. HIS DAUGHTER IS A LESBIAN!!!!

In the first place, he should never have allowed his daughter to grow up in such a manner that she would play the lesbian to annoy him.

Secondly, he cannot have heard Jesus say, “Ask and it shall be given – seek and ye shall find!”

Thirdly, that girl knows that she is wrong and is simply being wilful. Her Partner is beyond redemption and has taken delight in corrupting others.

Fourthly, and most importantly, here is an opportunity for Landover and our “Straight for God “ campaign.

In the days of my youth I was known as “The Only Cure for Lesbianism.” but those days are past. Landover is therefore looking for a virile Christian man to be sent to France. The mission will be to vigorously and deeply demonstrate to Ms Chao the ways of The Lord up to three times a day for at least 2 weeks. After this 10% of the $60,000,000 will be his to do with as he will.

She’s a presentable type, not the usual lesbian with a face like a badger’s ass.


The girl’s the one on the right of the picture. Her name is Gigi Chao! Gigi! The woman’s named after a 1960s porn film – how difficult can this be?

Here’s the background:
Quote:
“£40m for any man who can turn my gay daughter straight.”: Father's shock offer after lesbian wedding ceremony
• Property magnate Cecil Chao Sze-tsung has offered the huge bounty to the man who can sweep his daughter of her feet - even though she is a lesbian
• News of the Hong Kong-based businessman's reward comes after reports Gigi Chao, 33, married her long-term girlfriend in France.

As a billionaire playboy who claims to have bedded 10,000 women, Cecil Chao has no doubts about his own sexuality. Now he is trying to dictate the sexuality of his children too.
The 76-year-old property and shipping tycoon is offering a £40million ‘marriage bounty’ to any man who can win the heart of his lesbian daughter – and turn her straight.

Refusing to accept the gay union, he pledged the fortune to any potential male suitor able to walk the 33-year-old University of Manchester graduate down the aisle at a traditional wedding.

The famously promiscuous Hong Kong businessman dismissed ‘false reports’ of his daughter’s lesbian nuptials and insisted she was still single. ‘I don’t mind whether he is rich or poor – the important thing is that he is generous and kind hearted,’ he said of the ideal husband for his daughter. ‘Gigi is a very good woman with both talents and looks. She is devoted to her parents, is generous and does volunteer work,’ he told the South China Morning Post.

According to the BBC, Miss Chao said she found her father’s plan ‘entertaining’ and wouldn’t give it too much thought until an actual suitor had been found.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz27fFzJdeA





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 11:54 AM

This whole deal is repulsive to me on more levels than I can list, but seeing as how I am unmarried, and seeing as how the lovely Mari Galvez Villalobos seems to have forgotten all about me, I suppose I would be willing to help out.

Now, just to be clear, I wouldn't be expected to engage in any kind of premarital sex, would I?

Also, are we absolutely sure this old spinster isn't actually married to her lezz-be-friend? Because I don't want to get accused of adultery or bigamy or what-have-you.

Also, does Gabriel Reproba still have a way of getting Viagra without a prescription?


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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 12:21 PM

Well, Mrs. Hutchins has been getting slower and more forgetful these days. It took her two months last time to get pregnant. Does anyone know iof this 'Gigi' person can bake a pie?
Also, is it true that they are 'sideways' (l-l not normal like l|l) 'down there'? I worry about round pegs and square holes.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 01:26 PM

I sent one of my sons there, the same one who thought it to be "funny" to make my forum name Cranky, and told him to come back with that 40 million or not to come back at all.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 01:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Well, Mrs. Hutchins has been getting slower and more forgetful these days. It took her two months last time to get pregnant. Does anyone know iof this 'Gigi' person can bake a pie?
Also, is it true that they are 'sideways' (l-l not normal like l|l) 'down there'? I worry about round pegs and square holes.
Mr. Hutchins, not only is "it" horizontal, but practically all chinawomen put razor blades in "there" (this is first-hand reliable info from my old First Sergeant).



It's a crazy world out there.

YiC,

Zech


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Cool Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 01:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
Mr. Hutchins, not only is "it" horizontal, but practically all chinawomen put razor blades in "there" (this is first-hand reliable info from my old First Sergeant).



It's a crazy world out there.

YiC,

Zech
No wonder lezbean gooks speak with forked tongues.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 04:24 PM

Are you sure that Gigi isn't Yoko Ono? And what's with the cross necklace...not only a lesbian but a catlick as well???
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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 06:43 PM

Wait, that's two women in that photo?

The one on the left looks like a little oriental man.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 06:47 PM

I am a bit suprised no one mentioned them walking around with uncooked slant food. Very unsanitary.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 08:57 PM

My son just returned with that women, she is indeed ugly. She kept screaming and kicking but a well placed hit with my King James fixed all that. Does anyone know the exact details of how we can get our money?


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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 09:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
My son just returned with that women, she is indeed ugly.
Just a minute! Which one did he come back with? You know it's the one on the right! The more presentable slant? Not the one on the left with short hair, glasses and the fake cat.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 09:33 PM

You might as well throw in the towel on Ms. Gigi. I watched a "docuemtary" awhile back on cunnilingus given by a lady that seemed to be an expert on the practice. It was at least fifteen minutes long and so complicated that I was completely lost in less than a minute. It seems what us guys think with our "eating an ice cream cone" theory is a joke to a seasoned lezbo. I don't think Einstein himself could figure out the complicated things that these practised pros know. It seems that when we are doing our best, the girl is rolling her eyes and putting up with us. Maybe a little input from the women of Landover would be useful here.
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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 09:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Just a minute! Which one did he come back with? You know it's the one on the right! The more presentable slant? Not the one on the left with short hair, glasses and the fake cat.
Hm. Are you sure about that?


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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-27-2012, 10:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yea-tho-we-walk View Post
You might as well throw in the towel on Ms. Gigi. I watched a "docuemtary" awhile back on cunnilingus given by a lady that seemed to be an expert on the practice. It was at least fifteen minutes long and so complicated that I was completely lost in less than a minute. It seems what us guys think with our "eating an ice cream cone" theory is a joke to a seasoned lezbo. I don't think Einstein himself could figure out the complicated things that these practised pros know. It seems that when we are doing our best, the girl is rolling her eyes and putting up with us. Maybe a little input from the women of Landover would be useful here.
Brother, I'm sure all the Godly women of the Landover Baptist Church will be unanimous in saying the only good cunnilingus is NO cunnilingus!


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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-28-2012, 01:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Are you sure that Gigi isn't Yoko Ono? And what's with the cross necklace...not only a lesbian but a catlick as well???
Are her parents cousins?? Those crazy orientals and their weird family centric customs....


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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-28-2012, 02:01 AM

The japs are such perverts! You cannot imagine the depravity I am exposed to on a daily basis every time I take my Mission to the Slants over there.



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-28-2012, 04:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
Brother, I'm sure all the Godly women of the Landover Baptist Church will be unanimous in saying the only good cunnilingus is NO cunnilingus!
What, exactly, are we talking about here? It sounds dirty (ice cream cone?).


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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-28-2012, 06:18 AM

Dr. Ville, it's far worse than you can probably imagine. It's something I used to get involved with before I got saved. We're talking about men performing oral sodomy upon women. You know, putting your mouth "down there."


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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-28-2012, 06:29 AM

Putting your mouth on someone's anus is a disgusting sin, and a crime against Jesus. If it is possible to turn a lesbian without doing so, it would be a victory for the Lord.


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Default Re: $60,000,000 Prize on Offer! - 09-28-2012, 08:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
My son just returned with that women, she is indeed ugly.
How would you know, brother? They all look exactly alike.


Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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