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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-03-2016, 02:16 PM

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
You sound like you could use a hug from Jesus.
Be careful Mrs Etheldreda especially if he turns up with cakes
it's that name :: :: :: Cakes Then Tushes
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-31-2017, 05:37 PM



Word is getting out! People on the Streets are no longer willing to sit by quietly while God is ignored!


Glory!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 09:55 PM

Hey TrueChristians™
How am I meant to stop having lustful feelings about girls?
I want to be changed so God will love me
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Love Jesus Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
Hey TrueChristians™
How am I meant to stop having lustful feelings about girls?
I want to be changed so God will love me
Read the Bible.

All answers to everything you need to know are there.

Lesbianism, just like homosexuality, is a sign that an individual is a sinner who turned God's Words into a lie:

Romans 1:25-27
25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

Did you change the truth of God into a lie and worshiped the creature more than the Creator?

Then REPENT!

All your sins may be forgiven - all but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost. You really don't want to do that:

Luke 12:10 And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.


Once God has forgiven you, then just pray and whatever you pray for will be given to you:

Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive [them], and ye shall have [them].
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
...I want to be changed so God will love me
It's not about you being changed. It's about you changing yourself to be acceptable to God.

Seriously, people, this crap is like Intro to Christianity 101. What part of Scripture makes you think God wants anyone who has to be spoonfed and babysat all the time?


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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:14 PM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Random fake Christian garbage
Did you miss the part where I was asking True Christians™?
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:19 PM

Hey Basilissa,
How do I repent?
And after I repent, how do I stop being attracted to girls?
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Jesus Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
Hey Basilissa,
How do I repent?
And after I repent, how do I stop being attracted to girls?
Read the Holy Bible. All of it. It's not as boring as you might think - it has many more incestuous relations, rapes, murders, and genocides than the Game of Thrones!

Then, follow the Bible 100%. And I already told about the power of prayer, so re-read my previous post.

You also need to be baptized. If you were baptized as a little baby, that doesn't count. Baptism has to be accepted and understood by the person being baptized in order to be valid.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
Did you miss the part where I was asking True Christians™?
Judging information based solely on the source of that information is called ad hominem, and is a fallacy (ie. wrong, in case you don't know that word).


And I'm not a "fake Christian". I'm not Christian at all.




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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:32 PM

I have read all of the bible, however there are 66 books, so it's hard to retain everything.
I was asking how to repent in case I was doing something wrong
I was baptised a couple of years ago and I understand it.
I'm just wondering, if I am a devoted Christian, why am I still attracted to girls?
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:37 PM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
And I'm not a "fake Christian". I'm not Christian at all.

Why do you think you can lecture me about Christianity if you aren't a Christian?
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Jesus Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
I have read all of the bible, however there are 66 books, so it's hard to retain everything.
I was asking how to repent in case I was doing something wrong
I was baptised a couple of years ago and I understand it.
I'm just wondering, if I am a devoted Christian, why am I still attracted to girls?
If you were a devoted Christian, prayer would have worked.

1 John 3:22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.


If you have tried prayer, and it didn't work, that means that you are not a devoted Christian but an unrepentant sinner. God listens to all devoted Christians, but He doesn't care for prayers of sinners:

John 3:91 Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.

So which one is it? Did you not try prayer, or are you not as devoted as you claim to be?
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:45 PM

How devoted do I need to be exactly? I pray every night, go to church every week, and read the bible every day.
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Bible Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 10:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
How devoted do I need to be exactly? I pray every night, go to church every week, and read the bible every day.
Well, then maybe you're one of the millions of people whom God just wants to send to Hell no matter what. After all, it's His Will. If this is the case, there really isn't much you can do to change it.

Acts 13:48 And when the Gentiles heard this, they were glad, and glorified the word of the Lord: and as many as were ordained to eternal life believed.

Romans 9:11 (For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth; )

2 Timothy 1:9 Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,

Ephesians 1:4-5
4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:
5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 11:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
[...]
I'm just wondering, if I am a devoted Christian, why am I still attracted to girls?
What is wrong with being attracted to girls? It happens to me a lot. Just an example:


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 10-01-2017, 11:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
Why do you think you can lecture me about Christianity if you aren't a Christian?
Because I have read the whole Bible (about a dozen times, different versions, in three different languages), and I somehow managed to "retain" it.

And I don't make laughably unfalsifiable claims like this stinking pile of bullshit:

Quote:
Originally Posted by BiHeathen View Post
I have read all of the bible, however there are 66 books, so it's hard to retain everything...


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InLoveWithChrisChan InLoveWithChrisChan is offline
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-04-2017, 03:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Because I have read the whole Bible (about a dozen times, different versions, in three different languages), and I somehow managed to "retain" it.

And I don't make laughably unfalsifiable claims like this stinking pile of bullshit:
Quick question are traps gay?


trap
A man who dresses like a woman and is somewhat feminine in appearance. Could almost be mistaken for a woman until you are in the bedroom with one. Watch out for these types, they are usually afraid to get intimate because you might discover their little 'secret', but sooner or later you find out the truth!

*Source Urban dictionary*
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Prayer Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-04-2017, 04:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by InLoveWithChrisChan View Post
Quick question are traps gay?


trap
A man who dresses like a woman and is somewhat feminine in appearance. Could almost be mistaken for a woman until you are in the bedroom with one. Watch out for these types, they are usually afraid to get intimate because you might discover their little 'secret', but sooner or later you find out the truth!

*Source Urban dictionary*
Post a 'selfie' (that is what you kids do, right?) and we can let the Church decide.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-04-2017, 10:42 PM

I find that speech-to-text apps work better for people who know what speech is. One problem is when a text reply gets converted into "talking" the anomic can't understand that either.
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Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 11-23-2017, 03:52 AM

But homosexuality is ok
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