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International JOO and fellow-travelling Communiss.
Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-03-2007, 08:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
All Ladies of Landover must produce True Christian™ Baby Soldiers in any way possible. It is no laughing matter and you should not be discussing this here.
Turkey Basters have to be checked out by a Pastor before use just in case a Demon is hiding inside.
I wasn't running!!
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...Did you really just say that? Yes I think, I think you did. Wow.
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-04-2007, 11:57 PM
I am concerned that our members might think turkey basters are officially sanctioned by LBC. I believe the term "Turkey Baster Baby" was first used to describe Lynn Cheney's unsavory impregnation. I certainly hope nobody uses a turkey baster without a pastor's approval . . . and don't ask for mine, because Dixie cups work just fine and they don't simulate sexual intercourse (forgive me Jesus).
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-05-2007, 12:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
I am concerned that our members might think turkey basters are officially sanctioned by LBC. I believe the term "Turkey Baster Baby" was first used to describe Lynn Cheney's unsavory impregnation. I certainly hope nobody uses a turkey baster without a pastor's approval . . . and don't ask for mine, because Dixie cups work just fine and they don't simulate sexual intercourse (forgive me Jesus).
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But how would you get the 'seed' from the cup to the womb? Turkey basters, surely?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-05-2007, 03:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
But how would you get the 'seed' from the cup to the womb? Turkey basters, surely?
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Miss VanHellthing, I am wondering if you might be trying to trick a good Christian gal (me) into having an erotic conversation with an unsavory character (you). But why do you think GOD invented gravity?
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-05-2007, 03:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
But how would you get the 'seed' from the cup to the womb? Turkey basters, surely?
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Or a finger...spoon...straw...wait, why am I talking about this?
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-05-2007, 05:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
Miss VanHellthing, I am wondering if you might be trying to trick a good Christian gal (me) into having an erotic conversation with an unsavory character (you). But why do you think GOD invented gravity?
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In order for that to work, the woman in question would have to have an opening the size of the grand canyon. *snicker*
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-06-2007, 12:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
In order for that to work, the woman in question would have to have an opening the size of the grand canyon. *snicker*
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Just as I thought, I think I've been goaded into some territory that I'd rather not own. And I will take the fine sister's name to the grave who uses the Dixie Cup method, so ask no more.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-06-2007, 12:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
Just as I thought, I think I've been goaded into some territory that I'd rather not own. And I will take the fine sister's name to the grave who uses the Dixie Cup method, so ask no more.
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So I take it your sister's 'tunnel' had/has known a fair few 'trains'?
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-07-2007, 02:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
So I take it your sister's 'tunnel' had/has known a fair few 'trains'?
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...Ow...
Seriously that would...well hurt! At least I'm guessing, in theory it should. Though I also wonder what sorta position you'd have to be in for gravity to uh...take care of business for someone.
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HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-07-2007, 02:48 PM
Standing on their head with their legs spread. Hence, the...nevermind.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-07-2007, 02:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Standing on their head with their legs spread. Hence, the...nevermind.
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Well yes, that's what I had thought. I'm glad I'm not the only one at least.
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-08-2007, 02:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo
Well yes, that's what I had thought. I'm glad I'm not the only one at least.
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I am shocked that (even the unsaved) folks like Ms Hellthing and Mr. Joo would be so depraved so as not to see the value in keeping one's spirit pure by avoiding animalistic sexual behavior. Really, what's so disturbing about an inverted Dixie cup conception? Besides, some of our members have a little trouble performing the biological function.
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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International JOO and fellow-travelling Communiss.
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
07-08-2007, 05:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
I am shocked that (even the unsaved) folks like Ms Hellthing and Mr. Joo would be so depraved so as not to see the value in keeping one's spirit pure by avoiding animalistic sexual behavior. Really, what's so disturbing about an inverted Dixie cup conception? Besides, some of our members have a little trouble performing the biological function.
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Um...the Dixie cup method is more perverted than intercourse. Since intercourse is you know, natural. Seriously, even a turkey baster would be closer to how its supposed to happen.
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Unsaved trash
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
05-16-2008, 03:18 AM
No. You are not serious. You MUST be kidding. I've heard more coherent and less nonsensical ideas out of meth-addled bums (that was a joke, I've noticed that you aren't good at those, unless everything that you have posted is a joke). Please for the love of God tell me that this thread isn't serious.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
05-16-2008, 12:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Staples
No. You are not serious. You MUST be kidding. I've heard more coherent and less nonsensical ideas out of meth-addled bums (that was a joke, I've noticed that you aren't good at those, unless everything that you have posted is a joke). Please for the love of God tell me that this thread isn't serious.
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Why should it not be serious? Fornication is a serious matter and God does not approve at all - anything that will reduce temptation (women are very bad at resisting temptation) should be encouraged.
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: Barbie's Inoffensive Mounds = VALUABLE ADVICE -
05-17-2008, 02:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Staples
No. You are not serious. You MUST be kidding. I've heard more coherent and less nonsensical ideas out of meth-addled bums (that was a joke, I've noticed that you aren't good at those, unless everything that you have posted is a joke). Please for the love of God tell me that this thread isn't serious.
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We are very serious here at Landover Baptist Church, Stapler.
I'm more curious, Staples Singer, why it is you're digging up year-old threads. Are the more current attempts to save your soul from eternal damnation in God's Hell not sufficiently interesting?
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