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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-22-2008, 10:29 PM

I didn't see that.
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-22-2008, 10:29 PM

Brother what is that tiny bulge in your shorts ?




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-22-2008, 10:31 PM

It was really cold in the gym that day! I had just gotten done with a cold shower! The light is playing tricks on you!




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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-22-2008, 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
It was really cold in the gym that day! I had just gotten done with a cold shower! The light is playing tricks on you!
Understood Brother, been there done that




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-22-2008, 11:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Old Iron Crotch View Post
Hah! I've never seen her wear anything that didn't look brand new! The day she'd wear a shirt that even had crumbs on it is the day Pastor Ezekiel joins PETA, American Atheists and the DNC!
I'll have you know that Pastor Ezekiel once confided in me that he's a member of each and every one of those organizations PLUS the "Furry Fandom" and NAMBLA, just so he can keep tabs on what horrors they're up to! He goes to all their meetings, and even participates in some of their sick rituals, so he can report accurately about them!

Of course, he doesn't use his real name. He calls himself <CENSORED BY ADMIN>.


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-23-2008, 12:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
I still think she's wet Cajun coonass.

YIC,
Sayved

"Cajun coonass" is redundant.
I frequently get wet - in the shower, the rain, or when I command my husband to feel amorous. What's your point?


Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-23-2008, 12:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Iron Crotch View Post
"Cajun coonass" is redundant.
I frequently get wet - in the shower, the rain, or when I command my husband to feel amorous. What's your point?
The point is you are a sadistic feminazi man-hating God-mocking pervert who does not belong in the Men's Only section of this Godly forum.

Next time I catch you posting in here, you'll go on Moderation again.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-26-2008, 03:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
Here is my contribution!
Wow. Something more disturbing than the pic of Pastor Ezekiel.


Now that Obama is president I get to watch my wife have one of those black guys he promised her.
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-26-2008, 04:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Old Iron Crotch View Post
Wow. Something more disturbing than the pic of Pastor Ezekiel.
Yes, and I'm sure you're in much better shape. I can't imagine you look any better, with that lovely avatar of yours. I'm sure the Lord has cursed you for "going in unto" that pig of a wife of yours!


And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle a rent; and instead of well set hair baldness; and instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth; and burning instead of beauty. Isaiah 3:24




Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-26-2008, 04:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
Yes, and I'm sure you're in much better shape. I can't imagine you look any better, with that lovely avatar of yours. I'm sure the Lord has cursed you for "going in unto" that pig of a wife of yours!
1- She is not a pig but a human being. I love her dispite her weight. She's a much nicer person than the True Christians™ here. I'd much rather be married to her than, say, Sister SUV or Bible Thumpin Blonde.
2- Never said I look much better, but I have enough sense not to post half-naked pictures of myself on the internet. I also have enough sense not to post print-shopped photos of other men, paste my head on them and try to pass them off as me.
3- The avatar STILL isn't me. Yeah, I have a receding hairline, but I'm not that bald.


Now that Obama is president I get to watch my wife have one of those black guys he promised her.
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-27-2008, 11:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Old Iron Crotch View Post
2- Never said I look much better, but I have enough sense not to post half-naked pictures of myself on the internet. I also have enough sense not to post print-shopped photos of other men, paste my head on them and try to pass them off as me.
Who are you to say that Captain A's neck isn't REALLY that long?

I understand that some time ago, before he was Saved©, he ran into some trouble involving an attempted lynching. Perhaps he'd like to share that tale with us!

Take it away, Captain A!


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-28-2008, 02:37 PM

Reverend,
That is a topic I spoke to you about in confidence. I was seeking your guidance as a man of God on how to deal with an event that has, as they say, scarred me for life.

Suffice to say that it was my tip top physical condition and my abnormally large head that saved me that terrible night.

The minor scarring on my neck, hidden by my beard, are the least "deep" of the wounds and violations I suffered at the hands of those horrible, swarthy men. Whenever I hear Psalm 133, I am forced to relive that awful night an the "anointing" I was forced to endure!


Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;

As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.
Psalm 133




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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-28-2008, 03:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
The minor scarring on my neck, hidden by my beard, are the least "deep" of the wounds and violations I suffered at the hands of those horrible, swarthy men.
They sound like Greeks, what did they do to you before stringing you up Brother ?




Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-29-2008, 02:11 PM

Where will you be printing this calendar? Just so I know where to 'accidentally' set a fire where to not buy one?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-29-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Where will you be printing this calendar? Just so I know where to 'accidentally' set a fire where to not buy one?
Typical heathen "morality." It just goes to show how badly you need Jesus.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-29-2008, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Where will you be printing this calendar? Just so I know where to 'accidentally' set a fire where to not buy one?
Why are there so many mean unsaved ladies here first old iron crotch and now you dont' you have any husbands to teach you manners?
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-30-2008, 01:40 AM

Friend that little sinner has been here a long time. Her antics are nothing new to our Holy boards.
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-30-2008, 02:22 AM

It's such a shame. Are sinners allowed to cut in on Godly conversation all the time like that?
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-30-2008, 04:54 PM

Since there were certain people who didn't like my first submission for the calendar, I had some new shots taken while I was waiting for a Pastor to take care of some church business in Las Vegas. I covered my shameful bits this time, so lets not talk about the size of various bulges.

For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.
James 3:2




Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

Last edited by Capt. Aaron Portway; 11-13-2008 at 02:41 AM.
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Default Re: Should we produce a Manly LBC calendar? - 10-30-2008, 07:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway View Post
Reverend,
That is a topic I spoke to you about in confidence. I was seeking your guidance as a man of God on how to deal with an event that has, as they say, scarred me for life.
Captain A, I wasn't aware that the discussion was in confidence. I apologize.

Should I assume that the other incident, the one regarding that misunderstanding involving a sheep and a pair of Wellingtons, is also confidential?


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