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Reload this Page How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In?
Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

View Poll Results: Should I bash them with rocks or drown them slowly?
Bash their skulls! 46 24.60%
Drown them slowly! 99 52.94%
Other - Please explain 42 22.46%
Voters: 187. You may not vote on this poll

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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 03-29-2016, 08:20 AM

I heard a comment on TV the other that if you watch an animal closely you can learn a lot. I definitely agree. I watch my cats and try to interact with them at times on their level and study their reactions. I’ve learned many things; one of the most confusing is that they seem to be convinced that even though I am bigger and stronger, they are smarter. Most cat owners would quickly agree, but few would question why. How can a cat really think for a moment that it is smarter than a person? How can they fail to see the superiority of human intelligence? I know I’m smarter than they are, and yet I could never convince them of that.


I've killed one of them in front of them, But they're still eating out of the palm of my hand and thinking they are smarter than me!
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 03-30-2016, 04:07 AM

Don't kill them at all, that is considered animal abuse, and can land you in jail. You can't spread the word of God if you are in prison
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-28-2017, 08:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by gerardwayruinedme View Post
Don't kill them at all, that is considered animal abuse, and can land you in jail. You can't spread the word of God if you are in prison
Don't be silly. Prisons are some of the most efficient breeding-grounds for religion.

Besides, one cannot abuse a position of unrestricted authority. There is simply no room for corruption when one has been given dominion over another.

Glory!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-28-2017, 10:50 PM

God drowned a lot of kittens* in the Flood, but head-bashing (in the form of stoning to death) was something He only commanded to be done to sinful humans.

For example, a woman who was raped in a well-populated area but didn't cry for help just because, say-- a knife was being held to her throat.


Deuteronomy 22:23-24


Another example, some creep gathering twigs on the Sabbath. The Lord made sure to have His people stone the crap out of that guy pronto.


Numbers 15:32-36


The fact that drowning is considered a peacefull way to die just show how merciful God is, considering all the people and animals that He had to kill in order to cleanse the world of its wickness with the Great Flood.


* Not just kittens, of course. Also puppies, baby chicks, little bitty bunnies and adorable baby elephants.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-29-2017, 12:29 AM

You might consider burning. Witches often have cats as familiars. Witches are traditionally burned, especially in places where there are few suitable stones.

Burning purifies and at the same time allow life to continue for sufficient time to repent thoroughly and earnestly.

I think drowning is out. Other than the flood, which God promised He would never do again, drowning is not a recognized form of death sentence.

Wikipedia has an interesting article on "Ordeal by water"
Quote:
Ordeal by water was associated with the witch hunts of the 16th and 17th centuries: an accused who sank was considered innocent, while floating indicated witchcraft. Some argued that witches floated because they had renounced baptism when entering the Devil's service. King James VI of Scotland (later also James I of England) claimed in his Daemonologie that water was so pure an element that it repelled the guilty.

The idea itself went back to classical times. Pliny the Elder in his Naturalis Historia, Bk. VII (ca AD 70), translator Philemon Holland, says: Hee <Philarchus> reporteth besides of these kind of men <sc. witches>, that they will never sink or drown in the water, be they charged never somuch with weightie & heavie apparel.
But you will see that the wicked float and the good sink. (Which leaves an interesting theological question in respect of Eliasha's "Floating Ax Head" miracle at 2:Kings:6:
5 But as one was felling a beam, the axe head fell into the water: and he cried, and said, Alas, master! for it was borrowed.
6 And the man of God said, Where fell it? And he shewed him the place. And he cut down a stick, and cast it in thither; and the iron did swim.
7 Therefore said he, Take it up to thee. And he put out his hand, and took it.)

Of course, on a broader view, it doesn't matter much which method you use as animals have no soul.





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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-29-2017, 02:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
. . . it doesn't matter much which method you use as animals have no soul.
That is an excellent point, esteemed Brother Bathfire. Animals have no souls because they are nothing more than a collection of appetites.


And with that in mind, one mustn't overlook the simplicity of poison.


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Guns Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-29-2017, 07:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Don't be silly. Prisons are some of the most efficient breeding-grounds for religion.

Besides, one cannot abuse a position of unrestricted authority. There is simply no room for corruption when one has been given dominion over another.

Glory!
Are you insane or?


stop deleting my signature
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-29-2017, 10:13 PM

this site is a cult
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-30-2017, 02:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayChristian View Post
this site is a cult
You do not know the definition of a "cult". A cult is a group of people under the domination of a person or idea. The members do not think for themselves.

We here at Landover Baptists study the Bible individually and along with our pastors, come to the same agreement as to what it says. We can quote volumes of scripture from memory.

We have visitors from genuine cults. They believe in Hillary Clinton, liberalism, homosexual rights and Catholicism. Such sad people.

We pray that our help in pointing out their sins will bring them to Jesus.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-05-2018, 01:29 PM

I'd recommend either actually stoning them or shooting them. Shooting would save time and lead is a type of rock.
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-05-2018, 01:52 PM

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Originally Posted by GayChristian View Post
this site is a cult
How can it be a cult when we follow Jesus?

John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Exclamation Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-05-2018, 06:47 PM

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this site is a cult
Gays are a cult. Leviticus 18:22 may offend you: Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 12:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatScott View Post
[...] and lead is a type of rock.
Nope. Lead is a metal. You could combine it with sulfur, then you would get a pretty crappy rock.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 01:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatScott View Post
I'd recommend either actually stoning them or shooting them. Shooting would save time and lead is a type of rock.
The OP was seeking guidance on a godly way of doing in his kittens; which is why he came to a True Christian™ forum for advice.


If he had wanted the opinions of garden-variety sadists and/or unsaved trash of completely unknown provenance, he would have posted his question on Twitter.


Also, by this point the kittens are either dead at the hands of the OP or they have succumbed to the ravages of old age. Yet another reason that your input is unneeded.


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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 03:16 AM

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Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
The OP was seeking guidance on a godly way of doing in his kittens; which is why he came to a True Christian™ forum for advice.


If he had wanted the opinions of garden-variety sadists and/or unsaved trash of completely unknown provenance, he would have posted his question on Twitter.


Also, by this point the kittens are either dead at the hands of the OP or they have succumbed to the ravages of old age. Yet another reason that your input is unneeded.
And slowly drowning them isn't. Or bashing their skulls in.
I'm actually a Christian born and raised in the US for over seven generations.
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 04:24 AM

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Originally Posted by GreatScott View Post
...I'm actually a Christian...
So you agree with the Bible when it says non-virgin brides that have been properly bought and paid for should be killed at the city gates? And that married rape victims should die right alongside their attackers? And homosexuals? And witches? And those who gather sticks on the Sabbath? And you eagerly await the glorious day when Jesus comes back and kills 1/3 of humanity, for starters?



Nice. /s


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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 04:29 AM

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Originally Posted by GreatScott View Post
And slowly drowning them isn't. Or bashing their skulls in.
I'm actually a Christian born and raised in the US for over seven generations.
Ms. Scott,


So you're pretty old then? Why do you want to kill cats?


YIC
TT


PS. Cats are not mentioned in The Holy Bible (KJV 1611) so have no relevance in the world.


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Skull Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 05:17 AM

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Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
Ms. Scott,


So you're pretty old then? Why do you want to kill cats?


YIC
TT


PS. Cats are not mentioned in The Holy Bible (KJV 1611) so have no relevance in the world.
Amen, that is correct. The Bible must be our final authority. Oh, and the same thing does go for dogs. Dogs are mentoined fourty times in the Bible.


Proverbs 26:11 - As adogreturneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 05-06-2018, 03:49 PM

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Originally Posted by Diesel Stanford View Post
Amen, that is correct. The Bible must be our final authority. Oh, and the same thing does go for dogs. Dogs are mentoined fourty times in the Bible.


Proverbs 26:11 - As adogreturneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
Mr. Alternate Fuel California College, thank you for the verse. It is deeply inspiring, particularly first thing in the morning and immediately before meals.

Alas, you misread Mr. Taylor's intent. He stressed that cats are NOT mentioned in the Bible. Therefore, anything done to or with them is neither here nor there in regards to God's specific commands.

The only instruction that we have received from The Lord that can be applied to cats comes in the form of verses granting us final authority over ALL animals. Because this life form was not deemed acceptable for sacrifice in the temple, slitting its throat in a quick and merciful manner is not prescribed.

The entire reason for this thread is to crowd source wisdom based on what we can infer from the Bible since God specfically chose not to give us specific instructions. I like to think that He wanted to give us a little puzzle to work out in order to determine our commitment to cherishing His Word.

Regarding dogs--you are correct in noting that they are mentioned numerous times in the Bible. None of these mentions is in a flattering tone. This tells us that The Lord is not a fan of the canine form, possibily because He does not find it funny when people point out that "dog" spelled backwards is "god".

Either way, cats and dogs are not Our Savior's idea of a best friend. For this reason alone, we need to sever all ties to them which divert love, devotion and resources [read:money] away from Jesus.


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: How Should I Kill My Kittens: Drowning Or Smash Their Heads In? - 12-28-2020, 01:45 AM

Proverbs 12:10

Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.
Isaiah 11:6-9

6 The wolf shall dwell with the lamb,
and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat,
and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together;
and a little child shall lead them.
7 The cow and the bear shall graze;
their young shall lie down together;
and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
8 The nursing child shall play over the hole of the cobra,
and the weaned child shall put his hand on the adder's den.
9 They shall not hurt or destroy
in all my holy mountain;
for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord
as the waters cover the sea.
Ecclesiastes 3:21

Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth?
Revelation 4:8
And the four living creatures, each one of them having six wings, are full of eyes around and within; and day and night they do not cease to say,“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty, who was and who is and who is to come.”
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