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Default PRAISE thread! - 10-31-2012, 09:03 PM

Sometimes, we all need to take a step back from battling gaytheist trolls and think about why we're here . . . to PRAISE JESUS!

And that's what this thread is all about. Share your favorite Jesus-praising stories, prayers, and Internet memes here!

Widow Helen sent me this one in email:



Yes, Jesus IS big enough. He satisfies our every need, doesn't He?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 10-31-2012, 09:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

Yes, Jesus IS big enough. He satisfies our every need, doesn't He?
Oh INDEED!

Reverend, I must say, even on my darkest days, when I'm overwhelmed with parenting, wifely duties, the responsibilities that are required to run a home and family such that my husband has absolutely no cares at home, when I feel in my flesh that I cannot pinch another penny, cannot muster another second of patience, cannot muster the tiny effort for a minuscule smile,

just knowing that Jesus is there beside me

gives me the strength to carry on!







Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 10-31-2012, 09:33 PM

PRAISE Jesus for teaching me how to please my Father and my father!

PRAISE Jesus for making everything dirty so I can clean it again!

PRAISE Jesus for smiting all those gays in New York!

PRAISE Jesus for making me feel all warm inside!

PRAISE Jesus for killing my beloved horse!

PRAISE Jesus for all Sundays!

PRAISE Jesus!




I Jesus!
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Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Rev. M. Rodimer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 10-31-2012, 11:26 PM

Yes, Sister Felicity! The wonders of God's beneficence know no bounds.

Just imagine all the young kids in schools who will have glue, and the dogs that will have full bellies, thanks to your horse . . . and Jesus!


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-01-2012, 12:19 AM



THANK YOU JESUS for showing me what being lved means!




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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-01-2012, 12:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post

Daisy Mae, that is what I imagine Heaven to be like!



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-01-2012, 01:05 AM

A rose by any other name is JESUS!





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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-01-2012, 02:21 AM



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-01-2012, 02:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
I love the quote on the bottom of the picture. But with Christ on my side, I will piss on the faces of the forces of darkness. Can I have an Amen?
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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-01-2012, 02:36 AM



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-01-2012, 02:38 AM

AMEN!!!



...all your hard times will vanish in the wind, when the mighty clouds of joy come rollin in!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-01-2012, 02:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner View Post
I love the quote on the bottom of the picture. But with Christ on my side, I will piss on the faces of the forces of darkness. Can I have an Amen?


.




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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-04-2012, 06:28 PM

I praise Jesus for creating guns.



Like congressman Paul Broun and the founders of America said, our right to have guns comes from God

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-10-2012, 10:53 PM

What can be killed but can never die?





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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-11-2012, 01:38 AM



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-11-2012, 01:48 AM

BIBLE!
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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-11-2012, 02:00 AM

Thank you Jesus for temporarily suffering and dying for me and all your elect (Mat 1:21b) so that we might be permanently forgiven.

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Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-11-2012, 06:22 AM

I came across another image and I just have to praise Jesus again!

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It's a wonderful feeling when Jesus comes inside you. I want to share it with all men. Thank you, Jesus, for entering me when I least expected it.


Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

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Default Re: PRAISE thread! - 11-11-2012, 01:50 PM

False Christians, those who invent for themselves the image of a god that is remarkably like themselves, are often heard to say,
“Thank God, he recovered from the illness – it was Jesus’s Work!” or
“Thank God the child survived the accident, it was a Miracle!”

But how often do they say,
“Thank God, he has been blessed with motor neurone disease/ cancer/ muscular dystrophy/ etc.” or
“Praise be to Jesus! The whole family were killed in the car.” Or
“Thanks be to The Lord, my child has been born deformed and with the intellect of a jellyfish!”?

And yet… and yet… these are the forgotten or ignored Blessings of the Lord – what ingratitude!

Such things are sent to strengthen us and our faith – we may, in moments of weakness shout, "Why ME O Lord!" and ask why the faith and strength of others does not require this blessing, but that it to question God.

Bearing all this in mind, is it not right to PRAISE THE LORD!!!?





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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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