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Default God Punishes Heathen Redskins- Rice Krispies Ruined! - 09-03-2016, 08:25 PM

God's patience is infinite, but it doesn't last forever. This morning he sent an earthquake among the savages in godless Oklahoma that rattled their windows and reminded them who's the boss. The grocery stores had food all over the floors where it fell from the shelves. There were broken jars of pickles and breakfast cereal blocking the aisles. The Comanches are so stirred up that they have applied to return to Texas from exile. They have been denied, of course. Do they think we're crazy, or what?


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: God Punishes Heathen Redskins- Rice Krispies Ruined! - 09-04-2016, 12:06 AM

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Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
God's patience is infinite, but it doesn't last forever. This morning he sent an earthquake among the savages in godless Oklahoma that rattled their windows and reminded them who's the boss. The grocery stores had food all over the floors where it fell from the shelves. There were broken jars of pickles and breakfast cereal blocking the aisles. The Comanches are so stirred up that they have applied to return to Texas from exile. They have been denied, of course. Do they think we're crazy, or what?
I'm glad that Jesus destroyed the pickles; I don't like them. I'm sorry about the Rice Krispies, though.




Acceptingly Yours,


Handmaiden


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: God Punishes Heathen Redskins- Rice Krispies Ruined! - 09-04-2016, 02:39 AM

Jesus destroyed the pickles because Hillary Clinton again lied to Americans about her fitness to become president.

No Pop: Free Beacon Special Report reveals Hillary Clinton's pickle-jar opening was a FRAUD



Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: God Punishes Heathen Redskins- Rice Krispies Ruined! - 09-04-2016, 04:19 PM

I have never felt an earthquake.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Love Jesus Re: God Punishes Heathen Redskins- Rice Krispies Ruined! - 09-04-2016, 05:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I have never felt an earthquake.
Me neither. That's because God loves us for being True Christians™.

Psalm 3:3 But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.

Praise !
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Default Re: God Punishes Heathen Redskins- Rice Krispies Ruined! - 09-04-2016, 09:12 PM

The Lord is on a real tear this weekend. After a summer spent profitably tormenting heathen Californians and Italians, He has turned His attention to others deserving His wrath. In addition to the earthquake warning He has sent among the Oklahoma backsliders and Induns, He is apparently sending a hurricane among the Yankees of the Eastern Seaboard. God knows they richly deserve a good scourging. I think the Lord deserves recognition for a job well done in sneaking up on those Yankees. He made a feint toward the Mexican Gulf and then swerved across Florida in order to catch the Yankees unaware. He has caused this hurricane to be called a name no one knows how to pronounce (Hermine) in order to sow confusion.

This is a very minor and weak hurricane. They didn't even notice it as it passed over Florida, but Floridians are evidently made of sterner stuff than Yankees. Even a minor and weak hurricane will destroy the cardboard houses of the Yankees and they have no idea how to clean up after they pass. They still have mountains of debris from Hurricane Sandy, which was only barely a hurricane. The way they talk about it still you'd think it was one of the greatest trials ever sent by God. What a bunch of woosies. I urge all True Christians to join me in praying for the complete destruction of all of Yankeedom.


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Default Re: God Punishes Heathen Redskins- Rice Krispies Ruined! - 09-08-2016, 01:54 AM

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Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
I have never felt an earthquake.
Thats because you pray and read the bible. God knows this and kept the ground you are one nice and stable.
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