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Default Christian Reading (Suitable for children) - 09-12-2018, 02:43 PM

I have been reading one of those “Write your own Adventure”novels and I could not put it down. It is called “Hot Bed of Sin” by Miss Patience Bywater and you the reader are guided towards being a True Christian. Here’s an extract.

You require two dice:

You are in a stranger town. In search of food and drink you enter a bar. After you have eaten, a stranger approaches and asks if you will accompany him on a quest. He looks honest and you agree.

Roll the dice. If you score 2 go to 1. If you score 3 or more go to 2.

1. Your soul will not be saved. He is looking for his car keys that, he says, were lost in the alley behind the bar. You go with him and he kills you. Your adventure has ended.
2. The stranger gives you a handgun and a copy of KJV1611. You go with him to the alley behind the bar. On the ground there is a couple fornicating. The woman is in the throes of ecstasy and is calling out.

Do you
A. Turn round and go back.
B. Shoot them.
C. Consider that the stranger might be a good guy and keep watching.

If you have chosen A., you are not yet ready to have your soul saved. Your adventure has ended. Life as a Christian is filled with decisions and shrugging off responsibility is not one of them. Roll the dice.
If you score 5 or less go to 3. If you score 6 or more, goto 4.

If you have chosen B., These are rookie mistakes – (a) "Crying out in the city" means crying out for help! NOT "crying out with animal lust"! (b) there is nothing to indicate that the woman is either married or betrothed (see Deu:22) –she is probably a simple whore, she should be killed but, for the man there is no punishment. Roll the dice - If you score 5 or less go to 5. If you score 6 or more, go to 6. If you score 6 or more with a pair, go to 7.

If you have chosen C, this is a good sign. Jesus did many things that amazed people. He was not judgemental with the woman caught in adultery; he was happy to be with low-lifes. Never forget, the Christian needs to be able to recognise sin when he sees it. Go to 8.

3. The stranger takes your gun from you and wanders off. Your adventure has ended.
4. The stranger takes your gun from you and reminds you that you are a guardian of God’s law and that the job is eternal. Go to 9
5. You are unfortunate; both bodies have wedding rings, and the man has the marriage certificate in his pocket. The stranger shoots you as a murderer. Your adventure has ended.
6.You are fortunate; neither body has a wedding ring – the bible permits you to shoot whores but not men. The stranger takes your gun from you. Go to 10.
7. The “woman” is not a woman at all! This is a horrible transgenderal abomination! You have been inspired by the Lord! Go to 11
8. Your growing trust in your shepherd has been rewarded. Go to 12.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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