Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
False Christian (Looteran)
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: the heartland
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New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 08:43 PM
Hello everyone! I have been reading you're Forum for a few weeks, and I must say I like you're views. I didn't know if I was the Only one that felt this way. I quit three local churches because of the horrible perversion of the Word. I know the youth director was a perverted man, the way he smiled at those children. One young girl actually came wearing a knee-high skirt! Unbelievable!!
My question was this. I've always heavily suspected the candy product Skittles to be a secret candy of the gays and homosexuals. Theirs something suspecious about that rainbow pattern. I got to thinking though, the rainbow is absolutely the gay's calling card and it makes me sick every time I see one on a car. Sometimes there are Children inside! When God showed Noah the rainbow as a sign of his covenant with people, was he secretely giving Noah a different sign too? Rainbow = gay, God = rainbow, God = gay????? This has me very disturbed because I don't want a Gay God!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 08:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Archie
Hello everyone! I have been reading you're Forum for a few weeks, and I must say I like you're views. I didn't know if I was the Only one that felt this way. I quit three local churches because of the horrible perversion of the Word. I know the youth director was a perverted man, the way he smiled at those children. One young girl actually came wearing a knee-high skirt! Unbelievable!!
My question was this. I've always heavily suspected the candy product Skittles to be a secret candy of the gays and homosexuals. Theirs something suspecious about that rainbow pattern. I got to thinking though, the rainbow is absolutely the gay's calling card and it makes me sick every time I see one on a car. Sometimes there are Children inside! When God showed Noah the rainbow as a sign of his covenant with people, was he secretely giving Noah a different sign too? Rainbow = gay, God = rainbow, God = gay????? This has me very disturbed because I don't want a Gay God!
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Please learn to use the Search function.
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...light=skittles
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 08:52 PM
Calling our Lord a limp-wristed pansy is unacceptable. What's your problem, boy?
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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False Christian (Looteran)
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: the heartland
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 08:59 PM
I am not "boy" I am a 31 year old man! And I certainly hope not that my God is not one of the gays. I came here so you can make sense of this to me, not attack me. Ignoring a question doesn't make it go away!
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,745
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 09:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Archie
[...] Rainbow = gay, God = rainbow, God = gay????? [...]
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Neither God nor Landover appreciate the input of retards. It strikes me that you are unlikely ever to be a True Christian™.
Simply ask yourself,
1. "When was Noah floating around?"
2. "When did Skittles appear on the scene?"
Is this not proof that gays pervert the Word of The Lord? No wonder He says they are abominations.
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False Christian (Looteran)
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: the heartland
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 09:04 PM
Okay so you are not saying that they are always gay you are saying the gay menace has sort of hijacked them to make it their gay thing eventually?
And dont' say "Noah floating around." He worked hard for what he did.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 09:12 PM
Brother Bathfire was trying to make that 'simple' for you as a courtesy.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Unsaved Trash, Hateful Feminazi
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: St. Louis MO
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 09:46 PM
Archie, are you done mocking God? Would you like to sign up for my True Intentions program? It could cure you of any afflictions you have, homosexuality, stupidity and such,
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 323
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Canada
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 10:02 PM
Skittles are for the gays.
I don't they turn people into homers, but when you see a straight man/woman eating some skittles, you'll wonder
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 63
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Vienna
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-09-2009, 10:56 PM
GOD IS NOT GAY!
GOD hates gays and thinks they are an abomination!
Leviticus
18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination
20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Don't think you have to worry about that BOY, The good book is VERY CLEAR on the subject and leaves no room for discussion about the Lords sexuality.
Your Logic was NOT sound!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 24
Join Date: Aug 2009
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-10-2009, 04:29 AM
I believe that the question is, why did the gays choose the rainbow as their calling card when God had previously used it with Noah? God is not gay and will never be gay, in fact the gays are an abomination in his eyes. So why is the symbol of the rainbow so misinterpreted?
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-10-2009, 04:56 AM
Big Sodomy, the big-money national homo lobby, is notorious for stealing positive words and using them for their own queer agenda. Below is a partial list of words they have stolen from True Christians™. These once innocent words have been ruined by dykes and pansies:
Gay used to mean happy and carefree
The Backdoor used to be the door the kids used to come in and out of the house.
Spunk used to mean moxie, or as the Jews would say, chutzpah.
A Dyke was what we called levees before the rug-munchers stole the more obvious and shorter word.
Queer used to mean odd, not disgustingly sinful in a sexual way.
To carry home a faggot once meant that you were carrying firewood home to your True Christian™ family, just as taking a toke on a fag was at one time an innocent way to refer to smoking a Godly cigarette.
And finally, a homer was once a good thing. In God's Favorite Pastime™, it used to be OK to say a batter belted a homer. Nowadays, your likely to imagine that a player punched a sodomite when you hear that expression.
Those darned homosexuals have even ruined baseball!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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False Christian (Looteran)
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: the heartland
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-10-2009, 07:03 AM
You have all helped me very much with this issue that was Troubling me. I especialy like Capt. A. Portway's list of words. I also want to thank Pastor Ezekiel in his private note to my account (my first private note on this forum!)
Quote:
I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace.
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Pastor Ezekiel, thank you for helping send the Holy Spirit into my rectum to exercise the demons in it.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-10-2009, 02:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Conrad Jenkins
I believe that the question is, why did the gays choose the rainbow as their calling card when God had previously used it with Noah? God is not gay and will never be gay, in fact the gays are an abomination in his eyes. So why is the symbol of the rainbow so misinterpreted?
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Son, you are a bit young to be asking questions like this. The Homers stole the word 'Rainbow' because those smelly fags will do anything possible to ruin things for decent people. You do know those Homers are Satan's henchmen, don't you?
God used the rainbow with Noah also to see the reactions of the creatures on board. Any two of the same sex snuggling up were smited. So these flaming fags decided it would make a flag of solidarity. I say when ever I see a rainbow flag in a crowd, it is the direction I need to point the truck.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-11-2009, 06:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamanthaKingston
Archie, are you done mocking God? Would you like to sign up for my True Intentions program? It could cure you of any afflictions you have, homosexuality, stupidity and such,
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Your what?
Excuse me, Ms. Kingston, but you are a newcomer here. Why are you trying to promote a program which the Department of Faith has not yet investigated? Landover has more than adequate programs to provide for Archie's needs . . . unless, of course, he is outside our service area.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway
And finally, a homer was once a good thing. In God's Favorite Pastime™, it used to be OK to say a batter belted a homer. Nowadays, your likely to imagine that a player punched a sodomite when you hear that expression.
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Hmm, and that's a bad thing?
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Unsaved Trash, Hateful Feminazi
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Posts: 18
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: St. Louis MO
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-11-2009, 07:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Your what?
Excuse me, Ms. Kingston, but you are a newcomer here. Why are you trying to promote a program which the Department of Faith has not yet investigated? Landover has more than adequate programs to provide for Archie's needs . . . unless, of course, he is outside our service area.
Hmm, and that's a bad thing?
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True Intentions has helped many people become better equipped for the World, Eugene Harris once had an obsession with Kirk Cameron, but after two years in the program, he became straight, coherent, and intelligent. Jessica Marris was infatuated with Britney Spears until she finished her time in True Intentions now she is ready to get married. True Intentions has helped many others besides just those two. Miss Jenny, We have seperate programs for men and women both. I do not understand what your problem with me attempting to help people is, I have been running this program for several years. I have helped so many people. Why would you want me to stop doing so?
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-12-2009, 08:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SamanthaKingston
Why would you want me to stop doing so?
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Potential conflict of interest. The B.A.S.H. program has proved very lucrative for Mrs. Bowers. Very lucrative in that it helps save many ex-sodomites who can be assure they will no longer choose sodomy and will be able to go to Heaven.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,216
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: West of Eden
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-12-2009, 12:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway
. . . Those darned homosexuals have even ruined baseball!
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Well now, they did have some help from the Cubs.
Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are un Godly among them of all their un Godly deeds which they have un Godly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which un Godly sinners have spoken against him.
Last edited by Oakland "Reb" Griner; 08-12-2009 at 12:56 PM.
Reason: emphasis
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-12-2009, 01:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway
And finally, a homer was once a good thing. In God's Favorite Pastime™, it used to be OK to say a batter belted a homer. Nowadays, your likely to imagine that a player punched a sodomite when you hear that expression.
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Hmm, and that's a bad thing?
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No, but it IS confusing. That is part of Big Sodomy's insidious plan. If we True Christians™ are confused all the time, the gays have already won!
Another word fags are in the process of ruining is partner. Back before queers would admit in public that they were abominations living a life of sin and depravity, when a man said "My partner and I were in Barbados last summer", it meant that this person was in business with somebody and they travelled together.
Now, whenever anyone mentions their partner, all I can think about is two queers having anal sex! I tell you, they are doing this on purpose!
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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A young lady servicing the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 580
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: San Jose, Califonia
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Re: New user! I have a Question -
08-12-2009, 02:05 PM
And what about the word OUT? It's a really important word! You can be OUt of gas, it can be cold OUTside, and in baseball you are OUT if you don't make it to a base on time. Now those stupid gays are OUT this and OUTTING that!
And it doesn't even sound right to say "A young man came OUT today". OUT where? OUTside? And what is OUTTING? I mean, I don't even think that is correct grammar!
Tammi
He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4
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