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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Question - 02-08-2007, 01:10 PM

Why is it that we almost never hear of lesbians within the one God religion. I've seen countless threads on this site devoted to male homosexuality, in which the male pastors all quickly become involved in. But you ladies almost never speak of homosexuality within your ranks.

Is this because your male population fears these feelings witin themselves?


Do what you will, harm none, but embrace each life as if it's your last.
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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 01:15 PM

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Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
Why is it that we almost never hear of lesbians within the one God religion. I've seen countless threads on this site devoted to male homosexuality, in which the male pastors all quickly become involved in. But you ladies almost never speak of homosexuality within your ranks.

Is this because your male population fears these feelings witin themselves?
What the hell are you jabbering about, boy? Do you really think us True Christian™ men are scared of turning lesbian? The reason we don't talk about she-sodomites as much is because, being female, it stands to reason that they're less important than males. Still, however unimportant they may be, that doesn't change the fact that God hates them:
Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 01:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
That is merely two men regretting sleeping with each other.


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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 01:36 PM

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Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
That is merely two men regretting sleeping with each other.
Indeed. They will have all eternity in HELL to regret sleeping with each other.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 02:11 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Indeed. They will have all eternity in HELL to regret sleeping with each other.
Unless of course, according to your own book, they repent. Apparently anything done can be repented, and they'll be allowed into your heaven.

A murderer is a murderer. He/she will be judged before the next life. Hopefully they'll get it right the next time.


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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 02:43 PM

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Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
A murderer is a murderer. He/she will be judged before the next life. Hopefully they'll get it right the next time.
Archibald, in the next life it will be too late:

Hebrews 9:27-28: And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation.

So we die once and after that are judged. The New-Age myth of reincarnation as a sort of supernatural make-up test is just that — a myth. Therefore, you, Tinky-Wink, and all other Christ-haters must repent and turn to Jesus in this life.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 04:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
Why is it that we almost never hear of lesbians within the one God religion. I've seen countless threads on this site devoted to male homosexuality, in which the male pastors all quickly become involved in. But you ladies almost never speak of homosexuality within your ranks.

Is this because your male population fears these feelings witin themselves?
Friend,

As Brother Temperance as so wisely put it; who cares about the women and their carpet munching ways? It is not like they have souls anyway. Why do you bring this up freind? Are you just some pervert looking for fantasy fodder? Fishing for some confession from Sister Glendora about some encounter with her mailwoman? Or some luired story of Sister Talitha and a Catholic School girl? Are you friend?

Well Landover is not that kind of forum.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 04:17 PM

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Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou View Post
So we die once and after that are judged.
It's really too bad you believe this. If you believe it enough, it may come to pass. Remember that what you believe reflects into the world beyond.

Quote:
Originally Posted by More Saved Than Thou
The New-Age myth of reincarnation as a sort of supernatural make-up test is just that — a myth.
It's not a new thing at all. While the Hebrew people were sharing intercourse with the goats in their fields, my people were scientists, doctors, lawyers, mathmaticians, and scribes. There is just far too much to learn of this world. One life isn't nearly enough to even begin to tap the knowledge. In your nest life, if you have one, I shall attempt to find you and remind you of this conversation.


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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 04:35 PM

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Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
It's not a new thing at all. While the Hebrew people were sharing intercourse with the goats in their fields, my people were scientists, doctors, lawyers, mathmaticians, and scribes.
Your "people" -- if that's not too generous a term -- were sacrificing children to the sun in a circle of erected rocks at Stonehenge, Druid Wannabe!

Now, what has all this to do with curing homers of their perversions?

The Bible is clearly focused upon men, as women are to be considered property. However, women find salvation in childbirth. Can a lesbian get another lesbian pregnant? No. How then salvation?
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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 04:39 PM

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Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
It's not a new thing at all. While the Hebrew people were sharing intercourse with the goats in their fields, my people were scientists, doctors, lawyers, mathmaticians, and scribes. There is just far too much to learn of this world. One life isn't nearly enough to even begin to tap the knowledge. In your nest life, if you have one, I shall attempt to find you and remind you of this conversation.
Your people were also decorating your homes and temples with the decapitated heads of their enemies. Or strangling people and tossing them into bogs and other fun stuff. Maybe you should talk to Rachael Van Hellsinger about getting her house in order for her husband’s enemies sculls and the stagnate pond were she can keep captured weapons in.

You a past life believer? You know it is funny because when I did missionary work in the third world like San Francisco I ran into a lot of your type; they all told me they were prince / princess of Atlantis in a pass life and were murdered. Well I went to one of these heathen who does this pass life regression (just to make a point about the power of Jesus) and you know what they claimed they found out about me; I was an Atlantian peasant who murdered some Atlantian prince and princess. Of course I don’t believe a word of it as a TRUE Christian but there you go.



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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 04:41 PM

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Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Now, what has all this to do with curing homers of their perversions?

Nothing at all brother. I was trying to figure out the reason the males on this site were so homophobic. I was wondering if perhaps the feelings were too close to home, and that you're lashing out at everyone because you don't understand those feelings.


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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 04:52 PM

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Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
Nothing at all brother. I was trying to figure out the reason the males on this site were so homophobic. I was wondering if perhaps the feelings were too close to home, and that you're lashing out at everyone because you don't understand those feelings.
Well, lashings are one of the methods used to help cure homers of their perversion!

I think I'll start a thread on that very subject.
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Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 04:55 PM

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Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
Nothing at all brother. I was trying to figure out the reason the males on this site were so homophobic. I was wondering if perhaps the feelings were too close to home, and that you're lashing out at everyone because you don't understand those feelings.
Typical -- you just assume that we are ignorant into something we hate so much. Friend, I assure you that many of us have done extensive research into this: why I was even a part of a study group not so long ago wherein we conducted hours upon hours of research into homosexual perversions via the internets and videos. I assure you we have a complete understanding of these homosexual tendencies. Not 5 minutes passed when one of us didn't get up and head for our prayer closets for a moment's respite and a word with Jesus. We are well-versed in every manner of perversion in the homosexual cult -- how else would we be able to fight their agenda?


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Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 05:15 PM

Arch Dud, I spent many years in a convent and from the perversions I experienced there, lezbeans ARE an abomination! I don't care how soft and tender another woman's touch can be, it's disgusting and it goes against our natural purpose! Gentle caresses, firm breasts, and warm moistness do NOT make up for doing right by God! God hates dykes even more than He hates sodomites! Yes, sodomites are mentioned more often, but men are mentioned more often in the Bible, period. Dykes are mentioned less because they are women, and God has already deemed us as being barely worth talking about!
Now I'd recommend you forget all about homers and concentrate on getting to know Jesus before it's too late.


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
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OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Question - 02-08-2007, 05:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Now I'd recommend you forget all about homers and concentrate on getting to know Jesus before it's too late.
Amen, Sister M&Ms!

When Archie the Dud feels Jesus' sweet, penetrating love filling him so completely, he'll forget all about those perverse Druidic orgies, with the easy-access robes and the goat fat lubricants!
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Brother Temperance Brother Temperance is offline
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Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother Temperance will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Question - 02-09-2007, 12:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch Druid View Post
It's really too bad you believe this. If you believe it enough, it may come to pass. Remember that what you believe reflects into the world beyond.
What on earth do you mean by that? Do you honestly believe that if Mahmoud Ahmadjinad wishes upon a star, then there'll be 6 million less Jews in Hell?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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