Crotchetiness in old age will be the only thing that makes my dotage worthwhile. As I grow older I plan on becoming increasingly vitreolic and bitter, none shall have the benefit of my doubt.
I will trip children with my cane, I will routinely defecate on my neighbor's lawn whilst muttering scripture to myself, but loudly enough for others to hear. I will shout hellfire and brimstone to toddlers until they cry out for succor, but they shall recieve none.
And I doubt I will get much flack for it. Oldsters are considered eccentric...it is assumed by most that they have lost their wits and know not what they do, and should be tolerated...yea, pitied even! They are the ones who will need pitied as they burn and fall to ash in the wake of my righteous fury!
As my grandfather used to say to me, youth and skill are no match for old age and treachery, an adage I plan to test fully! As long as I draw breath I will menace secular society at its very root! Christ guide my hand!
C.O.M., I will put that vile document at the top of my Burn List. I'll start casing the libraries tomorrow