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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Jesus Will Return by the Top of the Hour - 04-24-2015, 03:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
I really think we should discuss this in detail, especially concerning the womenfolk. The fate of our women is even more enigmatic, as Enoch, Elijah and Jesus are the only examples and the soon-to-be-realized Final Rapture is going to be the first one that includes women (or does it?)!
Good questions, Brother. I am never fully naked. Ever. I know Jesus loves me for who I am, but even so, I would be embarrassed for Him to see my nether regions when an outfit from Ann Taylor looks so much smarter.

I have followed Mr. O'fagan's advice since I first heard it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan View Post
I always keep a couple of upstairs windows wide open in case of sudden Rapture. I have this fear that my saved soul might otherwise be stuck inside bouncing off of the window wike a wasp.

I know that rapture will be unexpected,

1 Thessalonians 5
But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you.
For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.

Unfortunately so far the only thing that has come like a thief in the night is a thief in the night. That is the downside of my open window policy, I have very few possessions left now.

YiC

Jack

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Shad and Deb Lamb's Avatar
Shad and Deb Lamb Shad and Deb Lamb is offline
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Default Re: Jesus Will Return by the Top of the Hour - 05-02-2015, 08:38 PM
Obviously, Mr. Jenkins is a FALSE PROPHET, since the Lord did not return. Instead of making false prophecies and accusing elderly people of not tithing enough, perhaps Mr. Jenkins should take some of those trees he hates, build a prayer chapel with them, and find JESUS for REAL!

Matthew 24:24
For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shal shew great signes and wonders: insomuch that (if it were possible,) they shall deceiue the very elect.

1 John 4:1
Beloued, beleeue not euery spirit, but trie the spirits, whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Everything that a TRUE prophet says will come to pass! The Bible is clear!

May God forgive sinners, and may He bless CREFLO DOLLAR! AMEN!

http://change.creflodollarministries...gofchrist.aspx
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James Hutchins's Avatar
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Angry Re: Jesus Will Return by the Top of the Hour - 05-04-2015, 12:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shad and Deb Lamb View Post
Obviously, Mr. Jenkins is a FALSE PROPHET, since the Lord did not return. Instead of making false prophecies and accusing elderly people of not tithing enough, perhaps Mr. Jenkins should take some of those trees he hates, build a prayer chapel with them, and find JESUS for REAL!

Matthew 24:24
For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shal shew great signes and wonders: insomuch that (if it were possible,) they shall deceiue the very elect.

1 John 4:1
Beloued, beleeue not euery spirit, but trie the spirits, whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Everything that a TRUE prophet says will come to pass! The Bible is clear!

May God forgive sinners, and may He bless CREFLO DOLLAR! AMEN!

http://change.creflodollarministries...gofchrist.aspx
Friend, I do not know from what trailer park meth lab you crawled out from but only Jesus is a Prophet. Brother Jenkins merely a True Christian™ and completely all man. As such, all he can do is share the Love that God has given him.
'Creflo' is a field hand that is trying to pull his wooly hair over the eyes of decent people. He is a Hamite. Billy Bob is nearly as pure blooded as Joseph was.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Naomi Ruth Lamb's Avatar
Naomi Ruth Lamb Naomi Ruth Lamb is offline
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Default Re: Jesus Will Return by the Top of the Hour - 05-05-2015, 05:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Friend, I do not know from what trailer park meth lab you crawled out from but only Jesus is a Prophet. Brother Jenkins merely a True Christian™ and completely all man. As such, all he can do is share the Love that God has given him.
'Creflo' is a field hand that is trying to pull his wooly hair over the eyes of decent people. He is a Hamite. Billy Bob is nearly as pure blooded as Joseph was.
Brother Hutchins! I will not permit you to speak to my parents like that as if they were some strangers off the street. Never shall you taste my pie again. Mother and Father were upset that Billy Bob implied their contributions for the plane were not enough. I am still trying to talk them out of moving to California but they refuse to budge. People that don't have the gift of prophecy shouldn't claim to have it. It's sinful.

NRL

1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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Locations in 50 States and Canada
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Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Default Re: Jesus Will Return by the Top of the Hour - 05-05-2015, 06:12 PM
Hey, let's not get all excited here! We're all friends in the Lord, right? I'm sure brother James meant no harm. He probably didn't even realize they were your parents.

I'm lifting all of you up in my prayers right now.

WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Default Re: Jesus Will Return by the Top of the Hour - 05-06-2015, 02:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
Brother Hutchins! I will not permit you to speak to my parents like that as if they were some strangers off the street. Never shall you taste my pie again.
Are you trying to make him pay double, dear? I'm sure our Godly Brother Hutchins will prefer to taste other woman's pie for free rather than pay for yours, my most beloved Sister in Christ!

I'm sending my prayers for your parents through Brother FM.

God created fossils to test our faith.

* * *

My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
 Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
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