The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED! |
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True Christian™
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Posts: 991
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Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 03:34 AM
Although I want so much to please every man
By giving them the very best pie I can,
I hope the Lord forgives the times
When in my recipes and in my rhymes
I choose to add more moisture to my pan.
Sometimes, I go moist.
It doesn't mean I'm bad
My pie will make you glad
In fact it has made many folk rejoice.
What goes inside is pleasing,
I don't want to seem I'm teasing
But it makes me want to offer you a choice.
Slippery, like butter, as I mold it in my hands
Texture is important to most men.
So please, judge me not when my pie, steaming hot
Is still glistening with moisture when I bring it to your den
For sometimes, I go moist.
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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True Christian™
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 03:48 AM
Lovely poem, Miss Naomi! You have brought a tear of joy to my eye.
It is so nice to see a sweet young lady waxing rhapsodic about the importance of moisture and texture in presenting a tasty pie.
Quote:
1 Corinthians 10:31 (1611 King James Bible)
Whether therfore ye eat or drinke, or whatsoeuer ye doe, doe all to the glory of God.
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I'm sure one piece of your warm moist pie would have me shouting GLORY to GOD!
I Kings 7:23
And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 03:58 AM
What a beautiful poem Sister Lamb! It really makes me want to taste your moist pie!
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True Christian™
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 04:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
What a beautiful poem Sister Lamb! It really makes me want to taste your moist pie!
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Oh Daisy,
I could never match my pie against yours. I mean, you've won so many years in a row that I dare not even enter mine in competition with yours. How sweet of you to say, though.
Your Sister,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 04:52 AM
Indeed, I'm suddenly hungry for a heaping helping of pie. The sloppier, the better!
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 05:01 AM
I lurrrrrrvvee moist pies.
Naomi, Do you think one day I may taste yours? Please? Then I could offer you my pie to taste. A pie tasting session!
The thought of it makes me all aquiver.
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True Christian™
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 05:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS
I lurrrrrrvvee moist pies.
Naomi, Do you think one day I may taste yours? Please? Then I could offer you my pie to taste. A pie tasting session!
The thought of it makes me all aquiver.
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Certainly, Irene. One question though:
Are you wearing appropriate gloves as you clean that floor? Mother is concerned that you may be picking up dangerous germs on your hands. A Christian lady is always mindful of such things, since what goes on your hands goes in your pie.
Yours in Caring and Sisterhood,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 05:52 AM
Miss Lamb, of course! I always wear surgical gloves except when it comes to pies. My finger nails are kept very short - no telling of what germs can lurk beneath long finger nails, and I dutifully scrub my hands up to the elbows before handling any pies. You can never be careful enough when it comes to hygiene! Long fingernails belong to whores, and harbour all sorts of nasty germs.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 06:32 AM
Ladies, ladies, there is not need for wearing gloves, nor washing your hands. Germs can't hurt Christians.
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 07:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
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But Faith Machine, doesn't that only apply to men?
Mark 7:15
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 10:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS
But Faith Machine, doesn't that only apply to men?
Mark 7:15
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It doesn't really make a difference if a woman gets sick or not, since God has set things up in such a way that they will all burn in Hell no matter what. Ephesians 5:22-24 states that a woman must serve two masters, while Luke 16:13 states quite clearly that this is impossible for anyone to accomplish.
Quote:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
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Quote:
No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
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Praise Him, for He is Holy!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 11:33 AM
It's nice but too many commas.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
12-29-2013, 11:46 AM
Such a moving poem. It has put me in mind of a nice warm, moist pie this evening when I get home from work.
I only hope Mrs. Taylor comes up with the goods. If not I suppose the rod will not be spared.
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
03-11-2014, 03:56 AM
My HUSBAND loves it when I put bananas and cream in mine.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
03-11-2014, 04:42 AM
How many bananas do you normally put in it?
And where do you get your cream? I know a lady who gets her cream from this dairy co-op run by about five or six colored fellas? Their cream is really thick and delicious. I tell you, there have been times when I've really made a mess of my shirt licking all their cream out of her cream pies.
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
03-12-2014, 07:40 AM
Unfortunately, in this godless European country I reside in, I haven't been able to eat any pies at all- moist or not. The closest thing that they have are just other assorted inferior pastries.
It's been forever since I've had an honest American apple pie
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
03-12-2014, 01:24 PM
There is almost nothing in this world (except Jesus) that I love to go down on more than a good, wet pie.
When a lady presents me with a hot fresh slice (the first is always the best, I've never been a fan of 'sloppy seconds') I just about loose control of myself with glory!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
03-12-2014, 06:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparkling
Unfortunately, in this godless European country I reside in, I haven't been able to eat any pies at all- moist or not. The closest thing that they have are just other assorted inferior pastries.
It's been forever since I've had an honest American apple pie
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Hi sweetie, I don't know much about your baking skills, but you know, there is a reason for the saying "easy as pie..." and the reason is, it is very easy.
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
03-12-2014, 10:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
Hi sweetie, I don't know much about your baking skills, but you know, there is a reason for the saying "easy as pie..." and the reason is, it is very easy.
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My baking skills are practically nonexistent, unfortunately.
When I marry I plan on leaving the baking to my (future) wife (whoever she turns out to be) but if I get unlucky and never meet the right person, I suppose that being able to bake pies could be a good skill to have ^^
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Re: Sometimes, I Go Moist -
03-12-2014, 10:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparkling
My baking skills are practically nonexistent, unfortunately.
When I marry I plan on leaving the baking to my (future) wife (whoever she turns out to be) but if I get unlucky and never meet the right person, I suppose that being able to bake pies could be a good skill to have ^^
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Oh, dear, I did not realize that I was speaking to a man, I apologize. Of course, as a man you are not required to know much about the inner workings of a pie.
Definitely, you must sample the pie of any woman you are considering to be your future wife, before you get stuck with her for good!
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