The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-19-2010, 10:44 PM
I prefer to shoot the rodents, but the neighbors seem to think guns are not the proper way to get their kids off my property. I am looking for a good high-pressure sprinkler system to take care of this. Preferable one with a motion detector.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,742
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-19-2010, 10:59 PM
This might help:
Them kids are allergic to water. If you can get hold of one of those systems, I've a gadget to pressurize it to 150psi
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-19-2010, 11:10 PM
This is exactly what I am looking for. Thank you for the tip Brother Ezekiel. Time to figure out where to get one of those and which of my kids will get the honor of installing it for me. And I will gladly buy that 150psi gadget from you. Praise the LORD!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-20-2010, 05:41 AM
High pressure water works wonders repelling undesirables. I remember being a lad of 15 and visiting my uncle down in Mississippi, and there was all these unruly negroes in the streets. Well, the cops and firemen wouldn't have any of that and washed them away with firehoses. They scattered like roaches.
My cousin was a firefighter at the time and he let me help him hold the hose. We got some old negress straight in the head and the pressure of it knocked her to the floor. I don't think she got up after that. Ah, fun memories!
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-20-2010, 12:52 PM
One of my sons figured it out. It seems Contech makes those sprinklers with motion detection. Time to order some of those.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-20-2010, 04:23 PM
Rev. Jim, you had some great times as a kid. I sadly lived near NYC. While we had some uprisings, they were far and few between as many of the decent people, the White folk, felk that the nigras deserved more. I felt then and do now, the mere fact that we let them live is a lot. But I digress.
Living where I do now, we get no nigras passing through. Either they work for me (and I keep a strict eye on them at all times) or they do not live nearby. The closest thing we have to the fun you had is with the messicans. If I do not need any day workers when at Home Depot, I turn on the siren in my truck and yell "Immagracion!! Immagracion!!" To see them run as fast as they can, hoping the fence, running (sometimes limping) across Rt. 81, dodging the trucks passing at 80 mph is great for a few laughs.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 272
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Less than 5 hours from Freehold whenever needed!
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-20-2010, 06:03 PM
This little gem sells for less than $100.
Of course, there's always signage.
MIKE HUCKABEE/RAND PAUL - 2012 (or sooner if possible)
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-20-2010, 06:14 PM
Thank you, I ordered 12 of those now. Unfortunately it will be a while before they arrive.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 353
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Waiting for Jesus
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-20-2010, 11:59 PM
If the sprinklers aren't efficient enough, you could always just set bear-traps and if the neighbors complain tell them it's because of moles ruining your lawn.
I've been setting bear traps for a while and a kid hasn't step foot on my lawn for years. Occasionally at night I'll hear a muffled shout and look to the window to see some teenager limping away into the woods.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-21-2010, 12:01 AM
Bear-traps, hm, interesting idea.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™
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Posts: 695
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: On an island in the Gulf of Mexico.
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-21-2010, 02:33 PM
Does anyone have a solution for gophers?
-ND
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-21-2010, 02:51 PM
I prefer shooting them. Great fun for the whole family. The grandson I told you about, who shot himself in his foot, can walk again and he is now shooting more of them than ever. Only problem is sometimes a neighbor complains when you accidentally kill some pet.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 353
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Waiting for Jesus
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-22-2010, 05:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
I prefer shooting them. Great fun for the whole family. The grandson I told you about, who shot himself in his foot, can walk again and he is now shooting more of them than ever. Only problem is sometimes a neighbor complains when you accidentally kill some pet.
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So that's why Mrs. Johnson was ranting on about her cat missing a piece of it's tail..
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-22-2010, 05:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noah Dint
Does anyone have a solution for gophers?
-ND
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That's what servants are for. I'm always telling my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy to "gopher this" and "gopher that."
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-22-2010, 08:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halleluyah Rob
So that's why Mrs. Johnson was ranting on about her cat missing a piece of it's tail..
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Lies!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-22-2010, 05:53 PM
Ah the systems finally arrived. The supplier must be atheist, True Christians would have done it faster. Brother Ezekiel, thank you again for the gadget to pressurize it to 150psi. It looks impressive. One of my sons started on installing it all now. He is a tad slow at the moment but with a good kick I am sure he will have it working in no time.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 353
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Waiting for Jesus
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-23-2010, 12:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Ah the systems finally arrived. The supplier must be atheist, True Christians would have done it faster. Brother Ezekiel, thank you again for the gadget to pressurize it to 150psi. It looks impressive. One of my sons started on installing it all now. He is a tad slow at the moment but with a good kick I am sure he will have it working in no time.
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If you like, I'll try to sneak onto your lawn and we'll test the sprinkler to see if it's effective. Only $20.
EDIT:
Never mind, seems that's the end of that. Well, you always have the bear-traps.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-23-2010, 12:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halleluyah Rob
If you like, I'll try to sneak onto your lawn and we'll test the sprinkler to see if it's effective. Only $20.
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That is a nice offer Brother. But the system is not finished yet and if it is finished I have plenty of grandkids to test it on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Halleluyah Rob
Well, you always have the bear-traps.
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I put a few of those in the backyard. Very effective I must say. Thanks again for the tip.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-23-2010, 12:59 AM
We had a small accident here. One of my idiot nice sons made a stupid mistake. While installing and testing it, one of the new motion detecting sprinklers exploded under the enhanced pressure. It killed one of Mrs. Johnson's dogs and more importantly it cost me one of my nice new sprinklers. Oh and my son lost a finger. The advantage is we have less of that annoying barking now, although it seems to have been replaced by the constant whining of Mrs. Johnson. Mrs. Johnson was already angry because her cat lost part of it's tail while I was shooting rodents with my grandsons a few days ago. She still refuses to believe we had nothing to do with that. The husband of that bitch nice woman must be really relieved to be in Heaven.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system -
01-23-2010, 12:39 PM
What you need is one of these babies. Brother BJ and his boys in security have a couple and they just rave about them.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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