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Default Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-15-2006, 12:24 AM

Folks, I am so excited, it's as if GOD Himself may have intervened and saved our senate! I heard on FoxNews that if the bad old Democrat from South Dakota dies or is incapacitated, the Republican governor of SD will be able to appoint a Republican replacement senator! I think a prayer is in order...

Dear Lord, please help the only party ordained by you (the GOP of course) by zapping the wits out of that bad old Demoncrat, Senator Tim Johnson, so that you may again have a majority government. amen!


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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-15-2006, 04:57 AM

It seems that this demoncrat's pot-smoking fun-loving has finally caught up with him. And, of course, the mainstream media is falling all over themselves trying to avoid admitting that God has smitten them: first he DID have a stroke, then he DIDN'T but, just to be safe he IS having "routine brain surgery". I think its all a smoke-screen to avoid dealing with the Truth.


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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-15-2006, 11:09 AM

"routine" brain surgery. Right. It's like something you do everyday!
"Hey Doc, time for my semi-annual brain surgery!"

God could smack some people upside the head and they'd still deny he exists!


Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-15-2006, 10:06 PM

GLORY!!
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-15-2006, 10:34 PM

Bad news, Prayer Warriors. It appears that satan's evil designs are winning out. The demoncrat is beginning to recover.

Please, help us honor Jesus and our Godly president GWB by doubling up on your prayers to smite this demonic senator quickly! Jesus wants a GOP majority in the senate for His birthday. PRAY HARDER!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-17-2006, 03:39 AM

Maybe Jesus wants him to get better, to punish the Republicans for not winning the Iraq war. What about that interpretation?


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I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-17-2006, 04:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Maybe Jesus wants him to get better, to punish the Republicans for not winning the Iraq war. What about that interpretation?
But the reason the Republicans haven't achieved complete and total success in Iraq so far is because of the Democrats sabotaging our troops' morale in the first place. Nevertheless, there may be something in your interpretation, in which case we can all expect to be raptured very shortly, to watch from Heaven as the Whore of Babylon (Hitlery Clinton) and the Antichrist (Poppa Benedickt, naturally) are given their turn to reign over the earth, until Jesus comes back to smite them. Glory!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-18-2006, 02:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Maybe Jesus wants him to get better, to punish the Republicans for not winning the Iraq war. What about that interpretation?
I would say that, at most, HE is punishing those half-hearted Republicans whose heart and brain has become soft through the skillful deceipt of Satan and the lull of sweet tonged LIEberal and DEMONcrats.

THE LORD might be teaching them a lesson, but it is most unfair to TRUE CHRISTIAN REPUBLICANS who have whole-heartedly tried to teach those goat-loving mu-slimes not to mess with the USA and CHRIST OUR SAVIOUR!

But it is HIS RIGHT if HE so chose!
(It is not for us to know and least of all second guess OUR LORD)

PRAISE JESUS!
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-19-2006, 01:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Maybe Jesus wants him to get better, to punish the Republicans for not winning the Iraq war. What about that interpretation?
Sister, I fear I must disagree with you -- we *are* winning the War in Iraq (a.k.a. The War on Terror a.k.a. The Long War).

Quote:
Originally Posted by George W. Bush
Every time someone has a defeatist attitude, you undermine our troops' resolve. Do you hate our troops? I imagine you meant to say that God is punishing the demoncrats for not supporting our troops (ie for helping the terrorists).


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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-20-2006, 02:50 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
But the reason the Republicans haven't achieved complete and total success in Iraq so far is because of the Democrats sabotaging our troops' morale in the first place. Nevertheless, there may be something in your interpretation, in which case we can all expect to be raptured very shortly, to watch from Heaven as the Whore of Babylon (Hitlery Clinton) and the Antichrist (Poppa Benedickt, naturally) are given their turn to reign over the earth, until Jesus comes back to smite them. Glory!
Wouldn't Paris Hilton make a better Whore of Babylon? She has surely got Clinton beat for the "Whore" title.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
Every time someone has a defeatist attitude, you undermine our troops' resolve. Do you hate our troops? I imagine you meant to say that God is punishing the demoncrats for not supporting our troops (ie for helping the terrorists).
I love soldiers, no doubt about that. If anyone is undermining the troops it's those evil Republicans who want the army to make a graceful exit!


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-20-2006, 04:11 AM

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Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
I love soldiers, no doubt about that. If anyone is undermining the troops it's those evil Republicans who want the army to make a graceful exit!
Young lady! You go and wash your mouth out with SOAP! And I mean RIGHT NOW!!

We are all 100% behind our Godly president GWB, who was hand-chosen by Jesus Himself to lead our nation into victory against the islamofascists led by Saddam Bin Laden! God Bless America!! Stay the course!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-21-2006, 01:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Young lady! You go and wash your mouth out with SOAP! And I mean RIGHT NOW!!

We are all 100% behind our Godly president GWB, who was hand-chosen by Jesus Himself to lead our nation into victory against the islamofascists led by Saddam Bin Laden! God Bless America!! Stay the course!!
Pastor, it is quite evident Arethusa needs a True Christian™ man to do her thinking for her.

Arethusa, my offer is still open. You need a man to lead your life and I am willing to be that man.
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-21-2006, 02:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Young lady! You go and wash your mouth out with SOAP! And I mean RIGHT NOW!!

We are all 100% behind our Godly president GWB, who was hand-chosen by Jesus Himself to lead our nation into victory against the islamofascists led by Saddam Bin Laden! God Bless America!! Stay the course!!


Can I just use mouthwash while thinking about Bush and Jesus?

Jesus is Lord I already told you how I felt about that. There's no need to bring it back up now. God bless you.


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-21-2006, 04:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Jesus is Lord I already told you how I felt about that. There's no need to bring it back up now. God bless you.
What you feel is of no consequence. What matters is what God wants and HE wants you to find a True Christian™ to be your husband.
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-22-2006, 07:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus is Lord View Post
What you feel is of no consequence. What matters is what God wants and HE wants you to find a True Christian™ to be your husband.
GLORY!

Oh Praise the LORD! That was a beautiful and heartfelt PROPOSAL Brother JIL.

<wipes tears from my eyes>

I would like to offer my services as a True Christian™ Wedding Planner.

Oh, it's going to be so LOVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!

Excited, Sister Thumper




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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-22-2006, 09:26 PM

Praise Jesus!
Congratulations you two.


I'm sure you will make a lovely wife, Arethusa.
There is no need to play "hard to get", nor deny that you want to fullfill your womanly duties to cook and produce Christian soldiers.
There is no need to act like you doesn't deserve such an honor.

Jesus knows you do, or He wouldn't have granted it to you.
Glory!


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-22-2006, 09:27 PM

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There's nothing to get excited about, and I won't need a wedding planner because I will be a True Christian and meet a Godly man in-person, rather than a (blessed) stranger on the eevil internet!

Errr..glory!


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-22-2006, 09:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There's nothing to get excited about, and I won't need a wedding planner because I will be a True Christian and meet a Godly man in-person, rather than a (blessed) stranger on the eevil internet!

Errr..glory!
If you deny the will of Jesus by not marrying the man He has appointed for you..
Well, let's just say that Jesus doesn't like having His will denied!!
And that He, through the Holy Spirit, may move a Godly man like myself to meet up with you "in-person" and show you just how displeased He is.

And know that you can NEVER be a True Christian Woman if you deny the will of Jesus.
It requires TOTAL obedience to Jesus, AT ALL TIMES.
GLORY!


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-23-2006, 04:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
GLORY!

Oh Praise the LORD! That was a beautiful and heartfelt PROPOSAL Brother JIL.

<wipes tears from my eyes>

I would like to offer my services as a True Christian™ Wedding Planner.

Oh, it's going to be so LOVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!

Excited, Sister Thumper
Thank you so very much, Sister BTB. I appreciate the offer but Arethusa has to also agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
Praise Jesus!
Congratulations you two.


I'm sure you will make a lovely wife, Arethusa.
There is no need to play "hard to get", nor deny that you want to fullfill your womanly duties to cook and produce Christian soldiers.
There is no need to act like you doesn't deserve such an honor.

Jesus knows you do, or He wouldn't have granted it to you.
Glory!
Thank you, Brother SS.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. There's nothing to get excited about, and I won't need a wedding planner because I will be a True Christian and meet a Godly man in-person, rather than a (blessed) stranger on the eevil internet!

Errr..glory!
Stranger? How can I be a mere stranger? We are True Christians™ and therefore we are all members of Jesus' family.

I can understand being hesitant about this, marriage is a big step for someone to make. It is something to take seriously. Even though I already have four wives and a few concubines I still get nervous about the prospect of marrying someone, especially someone as Goldy and beautiful as you. Don't worry about me being unable to pay you the attention you need, I always make quality time for all my wives.

You don't have to be nervous about meeting my wives. They are wonderful ladies and love the idea of having you as a sister-wife.

Why don't I fly you here to my house in Freehold so you can get to know me and my family in person? Don't say no until you get to know me better. I doubt you will say no though as I feel it is God's will we marry.

The Internet is not all evil. Yes, there is a lot of evil on the Internet but there are also islands of rightousness. Landover is one of these islands.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
If you deny the will of Jesus by not marrying the man He has appointed for you..
Well, let's just say that Jesus doesn't like having His will denied!!
And that He, through the Holy Spirit, may move a Godly man like myself to meet up with you "in-person" and show you just how displeased He is.

And know that you can NEVER be a True Christian Woman if you deny the will of Jesus.
It requires TOTAL obedience to Jesus, AT ALL TIMES.
GLORY!
AMEN! One of the first things I plan to do after our wedding is to teach her how to submit to Jesus (and in doing so, me) in all things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Corinthians 11:3
3But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God...
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Corinthians 11:8-9
8For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
The above verses tell us that women must listen and be submissive to men.

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Corinthians 14:34
34Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
The above verse tell us women should be silent in church and to be obedient.

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Timothy 2:11-14
11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
These verses tell us women are to learn in silence and not teach. It is also a reminder that Eve was the one who was deceived, not Adam, and why women are punished still today by bleeding from there private place for a week every month and through painful child birth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ephesians 5:22
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
These verses show a wife must always be submissive to her husband.

Arethusa, True Christians™ ALWAYS follow the ENTIRE Bible. If you are really a True Christian™ you will do as you are told.
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Default Re: Pray for Republican Victory and Senator Johnson's Death - 12-24-2006, 03:26 AM

Quote me a Bible verse where it says Arethusa was made to marry Jesus is Lord and you've got yourself a deal. I need names specifically because I take the Bible, very, VERY literally.



Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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