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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Pray and tithe for my TC friend, chief Robert Mugabe, the ex-nigra! -
11-16-2017, 03:25 AM
Now this is BAD. My good friend and pinochle buddy President Mugabe is being detained. Pronto! Pray for his release like you've never prayed before!
Quote:
The nation's army confirmed the 93-year-old dictator was being detained under house arrest but insisted he was "safe". Hugely unpopular Grace Mugabe was also "being held by the military" in Harare.Until this week, ruthless Mugabe had ruled Zimbabwe like a medieval king - rewarding his favourites but punishing those he saw as a threat.
One of those who fell foul of the despot was former vice-president Emmerson Mnangagwa - the man tipped to take over from Mugabe ahead of his wife.
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President Mugabe is just doing what Jesus would do. Or me. Or Donald.
Quote:
Hosea 4:9
And there shall be, like people, like priest: and I will punish them for their ways, and reward them their doings.
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It's a case of homers persecuting! Just look at some of the things President Mugabe did for my Pal Jesus.
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Laws passed in 2006 criminalize any actions perceived as homosexual. The Zimbabwean government has made it a criminal offense for two people of the same sex to hold hands, hug, or kiss. ... the revised law now states that sodomy is any "act involving contact between two males that would be regarded by a reasonable person as an indecent act".
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Now that's what I call a decent law. I've done some of my best hunting for prey and pray in the good ol' Zimbaland and caught many a giraffe, rhino, zebra and in the early 2000's a couple of nice Zimba-houseboys who serviced me well and were well-trained at 14! The country ousted the Brits just like our founding fathers did (those days the US troops were led by my great-great-great granddad Ananias Flint, who used to hunt for the quagga in Rhodesia; and Napoleon). They have hundreds of nice Baptist churches.
There'll be an extra tithe this Sunday for the joo lawyers of Mugabe. 20% of the income will go straight to him and 80% to cover the transactions.
Robbie, if you're reading this, don't worry. Dambe musudhu covfefe gadadzva. You know what I mean!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Pray and tithe for my TC friend, chief Robert Mugabe, the ex-nigra! -
11-16-2017, 04:20 AM
Only last year, and on President Nixon's birthday too, Mr Mugabe had turned to Jesus requesting a national day of prayer. Followed by another and another for 9 whole days of unbroken prayer.
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PRESIDENT Robert Mugabe has instructed that Zimbabwe hold a period of national prayer as the severest drought looms and the country teeters on the brink of a socio-economic and political crisis.
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“It was a spiritual request and as the prophetic voice of God we must respond responsibly. We as the body of Christ have chosen to respond to this request with responsibility as required of us rather than be irresponsible or reckless” –Shingi Munyeza for Zimbabwe Heads of Christian Denominations
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Christian denominations called to prayer from the 9th of January to the 17th
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Pray and tithe for my TC friend, chief Robert Mugabe, the ex-nigra! -
11-16-2017, 05:13 AM
Praying
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Pray and tithe for my TC friend, chief Robert Mugabe, the ex-nigra! -
11-16-2017, 10:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Praying
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That is awfully nice, Sis, but tell that husband of yours to read James 2:18-22 and keep 'em tithes flowing, capisce?
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Deuteronomy 14:22 - Thou shalt truly tithe all the increase of thy seed, that the field bringeth forth year by year.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,118
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Pray and tithe for my TC friend, chief Robert Mugabe, the ex-nigra! -
11-16-2017, 07:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
That is awfully nice, Sis, but tell that husband of yours to read James 2:18-22 and keep 'em tithes flowing, capisce?
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Our friend, Robert Mugabe, has never been under such duress as he is today. His enemies have surrounded him. It is now he needs our prayers and donations.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Toilet Biter
Forum Member
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Posts: 275
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
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Re: Pray and tithe for my TC friend, chief Robert Mugabe, the ex-nigra! -
11-17-2017, 07:16 AM
Pastor Ezekiel, I wish to donate but should I do this with US dollars? I read thwt Zimbabwe doesn't even have its own currenfy. Surely a country who's had such a progressive president as Mugabe pulled his country out of the typical African bartering system. If I send you 5000 Ezekiel can you get thr money to him? I can also part with about ten or so of my pigs as well.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Pray and tithe for my TC friend, chief Robert Mugabe, the ex-nigra! -
11-17-2017, 12:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bubba Buck
Pastor Ezekiel, I wish to donate but should I do this with US dollars? I read thwt Zimbabwe doesn't even have its own currenfy. Surely a country who's had such a progressive president as Mugabe pulled his country out of the typical African bartering system. If I send you 5000 Ezekiel can you get thr money to him? I can also part with about ten or so of my pigs as well.
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Who are you? I only mingle socially with actual True Christians™. You also need to be educated. A True Christian always knows the currencies that are valid to spread the Glorious Gospel in the four corners of the earth. The Zimbas accept Australian Dollar, Botswana Pula, British Sterling Pound, Chinese Yuan, Euro, etc. etc. However, our Lord is not too keen on the offerings of sinners who remain under DOF investigation. As for the swine:
Quote:
Amos 5:22
Though ye offer me burnt offerings and your meat offerings, I will not accept them: neither will I regard the peace offerings of your fat beasts.
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So, Mr. Bubble Back or whatever. We can communicate a bit more when you can recite the Bible by heart in 'Merican, Jap and Shona. I praying that you're a quick study. Jesus and Donnie won't wait for much longer until its rapturetime and off you go into .
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
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Re: Pray and tithe for my TC friend, chief Robert Mugabe, the ex-nigra! -
11-17-2017, 01:15 PM
Very kind and honest man. I met him a few years ago at one of our withc hunt events. He was nearly shot by friendly fire that day. But he took it with humor. He understood that he is a negroe and that day negroes are free game.
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