Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-14-2014, 07:17 PM
I completely agree. Left handed people should burn in the very darkest pits of hell. To use one of the hands that God created for you more than the other is disgusting.
I once met a man in Grimsby who'd just lost his right arm in a skiing accident. He went on to say he was a freelance writer before the limb damage and that, slowly, he was easing his way back into his field of work. After asking him how he still writes, I found that he had forced himself to write with his left hand. Upon hearing this devastating news, I instinctively delivered a round house kick to the man's face, rendering him unconscious. I then proceeded to force feed him 18 caplets of paracetamol. While he was lying there, foamy saliva oozing from his mouth and running down his cheek, I felt a sense of pride that I had done the Lord's work for him. It makes me smile knowing that this sinful boggart is swelling in the depths of the netherworld, being anally penetrated by Satan himself.
If you are to the belief that left handedness is wicked and sinful then please read the following statement:
You're a mormon.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-14-2014, 07:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SanePerson
I completely agree. Left handed people should burn in the very darkest pits of hell. To use one of the hands that God created for you more than the other is disgusting.
I once met a man in Grimsby who'd just lost his right arm in a skiing accident. He went on to say he was a freelance writer before the limb damage and that, slowly, he was easing his way back into his field of work. After asking him how he still writes, I found that he had forced himself to write with his left hand. Upon hearing this devastating news, I instinctively delivered a round house kick to the man's face, rendering him unconscious. I then proceeded to force feed him 18 caplets of paracetamol. While he was lying there, foamy saliva oozing from his mouth and running down his cheek, I felt a sense of pride that I had done the Lord's work for him. It makes me smile knowing that this sinful boggart is swelling in the depths of the netherworld, being anally penetrated by Satan himself.
If you are to the belief that left handedness is wicked and sinful then please read the following statement:
You're a mormon.
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Well that is, by far, the oddest religious test I've ever read. I thought to be a Mormon you had to believe Joseph Smith wasn't really a con man but coincidentally found "seer stones" to translate his pretend texts only 18 months after being arrested for and confessing to conning people by taking money to read their futures with "seer stones." Also, magic underwear.
I guess you learn something new every day.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-14-2014, 09:12 PM
I was being sarcastic and using extremes to show how misguided and petulant you all are. I apologise when I called you a mormon, it was supposed to be mormon but I was a victim of the autocorrect. Which brings me onto my other point: should autocorrect be demonized as a work of the devil? I heard somebody who was left handed used it once and now that it's tainted with spirits and generally bad voodoo I believe it's evil.
Clearly whoever set up this whole ideology was misjudged and, let's be honest, probably intoxicated.
36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
By this logic, if you reward me with one of your sin badges, I expect you to be also rewarded with that badge too. I want the one that says 'cry baby' when you hover over it.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-15-2014, 12:05 AM
As a reformed left hander, I thank The Almighty for giving me the ability to avoid the metric side of the measuring cup, write on a chalkboard, and shoot the multitude of Godly right handed weapons!
Hallelujah!
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-17-2014, 04:09 PM
Is God rejecting me, because I use both hands when I write?
I us my left hand only to eat and write ( sometimes I use my right hand). For anything else I use my right hand.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:05 AM
Please tell me this is some kind of metaphor or a joke? I was BORN left handed, it wasn't a choice to choose my dominate hand or my dominate brain hemisphere, I was forced to learn to write with my right hand when I was in baptist school and it was one of the single most horrible things to ever happen to me, my hand was tied to a desk and I was forced to use my right hand, the fingers on my left hand were taped together so I couldn't use them and it was very very difficult to do the things they wanted me to do. I was born left handed, my fiancé is left handed, what is the big deal about which hand is dominate?! If all of this is true, if the left hand is so evil, then why do you put your wedding ring and your engagement ring on your left hand? Wouldn't that mean that it's a sacred hand, symbolizing commitment and trust? It's people like you who pervert the scriptures and try and force people to see them the way you want them to be interpreted that are the apostates, not anyone else and you should be utterly ashamed of yourself!!
And by the way... I'm relearning how to write with m left hand again and it's an amazingly liberating experience!!! It's better than premarital sex!!
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PathalogicalSeeker
Please tell me this is some kind of metaphor or a joke? I was BORN left handed, it wasn't a choice to choose my dominate hand or my dominate brain hemisphere, I was forced to learn to write with my right hand when I was in baptist school and it was one of the single most horrible things to ever happen to me, my hand was tied to a desk and I was forced to use my right hand, the fingers on my left hand were taped together so I couldn't use them and it was very very difficult to do the things they wanted me to do. I was born left handed, my fiancé is left handed, what is the big deal about which hand is dominate?! If all of this is true, if the left hand is so evil, then why do you put your wedding ring and your engagement ring on your left hand? Wouldn't that mean that it's a sacred hand, symbolizing commitment and trust? It's people like you who pervert the scriptures and try and force people to see them the way you want them to be interpreted that are the apostates, not anyone else and you should be utterly ashamed of yourself!!
And by the way... I'm relearning how to write with m left hand again and it's an amazingly liberating experience!!! It's better than premarital sex!!
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Do you think it's a coincidence that anti-Christ throws (like a girl) with his left had?
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
Do you think it's coincident that anti-Christ throws (like a girl) with his left had?
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You mean "coincidence"? Um... First of all yes and second of all, he's not the Antichrist, if he was then it would have been known by now, 4 1/2 years have passed under his administration and I haven't seen any plagues or people being taken to heaven spontaneously. And please, I want you to give me one, very clear scripture that tells me outright that being left handed is going to send me to hell. Also... You never even addressed any of the points I made in my post, making fun of someone is sign número uno that someone knows that they are wrong and they are searching for a scapegoat because they can not back up their claims. Psychology 101 my friend, God gave us the ability to study scientific phenomenon for a reason.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PathalogicalSeeker
You mean "coincidence"? Um... First of all yes and second of all, he's not the Antichrist, if he was then it would have been known by now, 4 1/2 years have passed under his administration and I haven't seen any plagues or people being taken to heaven spontaneously. And please, I want you to give me one, very clear scripture that tells me outright that being left handed is going to send me to hell. Also... You never even addressed any of the points I made in my post, making fun of someone is sign número uno that someone knows that they are wrong and they are searching for a scapegoat because they can not back up their claims. Psychology 101 my friend, God gave us the ability to study scientific phenomenon for a reason.
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Welcome to God’s favorite forum! Please start a thread in the introduction forum and tell us what church you attend, your favorite Bible verse and how you found Jesus.
| Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pim Pendergast
Welcome to God’s favorite forum! Please start a thread in the introduction forum and tell us what church you attend, your favorite Bible verse and how you found Jesus.
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Why won't you just address the issue and stop beating around the bush? I go to St. Williams Parish now, I don't pick and choose bible verses as favorites, but I am partial to the books of Ezekiel and Revelation. There, intro, now answer my questions.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PathalogicalSeeker
You mean "coincidence"?
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It's not like anyone can see what I actually wrote on my post
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
It's not like anyone can see what I actually wrote on my post
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Um.... Observant much? All they have to do is read my quote section...
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PathalogicalSeeker
Why won't you just address the issue and stop beating around the bush? I go to St. Williams Parish now, I don't pick and choose bible verses as favorites, but I am partial to the books of Ezekiel and Revelation. There, intro, now answer my questions.
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Have you read the OP? What parts of it do you disagree with?
By the way, I started an introduction thread for you.
| Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PathalogicalSeeker
I am much Idiot!!! All they have to do is read my quote section...
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It's not like you can't change the quote section with ease
Now that we have seen that you are not very bright, I would like to know why you changed what I actually wrote on your quote section?
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pim Pendergast
Have you read the OP? What parts of it do you disagree with?
By the way, I started an introduction thread for you.
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How about the obvious part of when he called all left handed people "hell bound" how exactly am I he'll bound just because of my brain structure and the fact that I use my right side of my brain more so than my left side?
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
It's not like you can't change the quote section with ease
Now that we have seen that you are not very bright, I would like to know why you changed what I actually wrote on your quote section?
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So I'm the sinner when you clearly just told a blatant lie?
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PathalogicalSeeker
So I'm the sinner when you clearly just told a blatant lie?
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Did I say anything about you being a sinner? You are not making any sense at all. First you change what I wrote and now you are imagining things. Are you feeling well?
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 08:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PathalogicalSeeker
How about the obvious part of when he called all left handed people "hell bound" how exactly am I he'll bound just because of my brain structure and the fact that I use my right side of my brain more so than my left side?
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The Bible makes it clear that God frowns on the left hand.
Eccl 10:2 A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left.
Why do you choose to use your left hand? If you want to please God, learn to use your right.
| Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 09:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pim Pendergast
The Bible makes it clear that God frowns on the left hand.
Eccl 10:2 A wise man's heart is at his right hand; but a fool's heart at his left.
Why do you choose to use your left hand? If you want to please God, learn to use your right.
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It's not a choice that I've made to be born left handed. What's going on on this forum? Pretending as though I've changed somebody's quote, telling me to stop using my left hand? Why? It's just a hand. The scripture means to say that your heart should be at your right hand right? It just means the same thing as Jesus being seated at the "right hand" of God, Gabriel is seated at his left hand is he not? God trusts Gabriel, otherwise he would not be the arch angel in charge of the archives of heaven, yet another example of the left hand being of utmost importance.
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Re: STOP being Left-handed!!! -
02-25-2014, 09:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PathalogicalSeeker
It's not a choice that I've made to be born left handed.
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People can learn to use their right hand, just like people can unlearn to be gay.
Quote:
Gabriel is seated at his left hand is he not? God trusts Gabriel, otherwise he would not be the arch angel in charge of the archives of heaven, yet another example of the left hand being of utmost importance.
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Where does the Bible say Gabriel is at God's left hand? Book, chapter and verse, please.
| Mt 21:42, 44 Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes . . . ? And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.
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