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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-02-2011, 07:45 AM
One of my grandsons did something useful for a change. His father finally started to apply the rod on that chap and he has improved greatly because of this. Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
As I am completely free of sin, I always sleep very well. So to rise at 5 am I always need a proper alarm clock. 1st John 3:9 "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God."
This is the alarm clock my grandson made me:
It wakes me up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon! His mother is a complete idiot so I never expected this from him.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-02-2011, 04:06 PM
That is a very smart idea! I wake my husband up to the exact same thing, only the actual thing! Not just the smell.
I ask God every night to wake me up at 4am, so I can start my daily prayers and serving my husband, and sure enough, at 4am each morning, I wake up!
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-02-2011, 04:18 PM
I think it's wonderful that your grandson is so thoughtful to slide his slender pork strip into your box each morning. What a wonderful way to wake up! Hosanna In The Highest!
Serving Up The Blood Of Jesus,
Harry Lester
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-07-2011, 03:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youth Minister Harry
I think it's wonderful that your grandson is so thoughtful to slide his slender pork strip into your box each morning. What a wonderful way to wake up! Hosanna In The Highest!
Serving Up The Blood Of Jesus,
Harry Lester
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Sounds like you are subtly questioning the quality of COM's grandson's Pork Strip there Harry.
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Master of Biblical Study and Ancient Languages With Jesus now.
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,474
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Miniscule Ohio town about which nobody heard
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-07-2011, 05:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
One of my grandsons did something useful for a change. His father finally started to apply the rod on that chap and he has improved greatly because of this. Proverbs 23:13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
As I am completely free of sin, I always sleep very well. So to rise at 5 am I always need a proper alarm clock. 1st John 3:9 "Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God."
This is the alarm clock my grandson made me:
It wakes me up with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon! His mother is a complete idiot so I never expected this from him.
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That is a really terrific gift. If your grandson ever needs a trade, I have an idea.
YiJC, BS
II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-07-2011, 06:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Sounds like you are subtly questioning the quality of COM's grandson's Pork Strip there Harry.
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Is bacon not thinly sliced? Even the thick-cut bacon is thin compared to, say, a pork chop.
Of course, Harry may have meant "tender pork strip".
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash, pretending to be a snail gulper
Forum Member
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Posts: 103
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: The glorius land of France
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-07-2011, 07:10 AM
What a wonderful gift.
I hope I will have a grandson, one day, which will make me a thing like that
Gods blessings.
Andre
I'm Alpha and Omega. The begining and the end.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-07-2011, 10:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jo Freddie
Sounds like you are subtly questioning the quality of COM's grandson's Pork Strip there Harry.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Is bacon not thinly sliced? Even the thick-cut bacon is thin compared to, say, a pork chop.
Of course, Harry may have meant "tender pork strip".
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I would never question the quality of a boy's gift of meat, and certainly never intended to imply his slab of pork would be anything less than 6.5" cut and thick.
Entering Through The Blood Of Christ,
Harry Lester
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 4
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-11-2011, 05:31 PM
Judging my your picture I'd say your Grandson needs to make you a razor and a hair comb
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: My grandson made me this great alarm clock! -
03-12-2011, 05:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoinOnMern
Judging my your picture I'd say your Grandson needs to make you a razor and a hair comb
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Dear Godmocking Whore;
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan and spreading your legs for anyone with a dollar to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.
Quote:
Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.
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Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!
YIC,
--Pastor Ezekiel
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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