Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > False Religions and Cults
Reload this Page WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read!
False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default WITCH HUNT 2007 Please Read! - 10-02-2006, 10:02 PM

October is the High-Season for witch hunting and we have some important guidelines to discuss. Please print a copy of this bulletin to keep in the field.

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS

Oct 1-10 Archery and Muzzleloading combined event. NO LIMIT but you still need to provide genitals for proof of sex.

CONTEST: Fattest Witch, Ugliest Witch, Fattest&Ugliest Witch.

Oct 11-21 Rifle and Handguns, including automatic weapons and hand-thrown explosive devices. NO LIMIT but (if you can find them) please provide genitals for proof of sex.

CONTEST: Same as above.

Oct 22-31 ANYTHING GOES! All weapons and methods, NO LIMIT, NO RULES!

CONTEST: Most Creative Kill, Funniest Kill, Best Kill Photo.

PLEASE POST YOUR QUESTIONS/COMMENTS AND CONTEST ENTRIES ON THIS THREAD.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
MoonFlower's Avatar
MoonFlower MoonFlower is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Hellbound Heathen

 
Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-02-2006, 10:10 PM



But...but...what about me?? Am I gonna be hunted as well??

Trembling in fear,
Moon


You pray...I dance naked in the forest
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-02-2006, 10:18 PM

Couple of notes.

No dipping the arrow tips into curare or rubbing them on those little blue frogs. The wiccan has to come down without any outside help, but you can shoot more than once if the first shot doesn't drop her.

Last year we didn't allow red dots or holosights on autoloader pistols. This year they are allowed.

As before, no restrictions on weapons. If you have a class 3 weapon you can use it.

Also a correction. There was some....disorder... last year when some unnamed hunters brought in pig ears and claimed them as female genitals. I'm afraid this time you must bring back at least a torso if you want to claim a female wiccan, and it must have at least one SATANIC tattoo still attached.

We are still living down the rumor that some fellows stopped a Greyhound bus outside of Des Moines and proceeded to castrate all the males on it. THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN! Hunt responsibly! No buses!!!!

Thanks for your cooperation. Good hunting!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-02-2006, 10:29 PM

This is very exciting news! I can't wait to bag a witch or two! Are there any entrance fees?

I don't have the heart to kill poor moonflower, in spite of her wanton wickedness. I feel an affection for her such as a master might feel toward a sexy loyal negro...if I were to take her down with a tranq dart and bring back photo evidence of her gender, does that still count?

Yours in Christ,
Witch Hammer
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-02-2006, 10:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonFlower View Post
But...but...what about me?? Am I gonna be hunted as well??
Trembling in fear,
Moon
I'll cut you a deal. You bring enough wickers and warlocks out to the edge of the forest to make sure everyone gets a prize and I'll give you a pass. But you have to show it to a hunter BEFORE he shoots you or........


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-02-2006, 10:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
This is very exciting news! I can't wait to bag a witch or two! Are there any entrance fees?

I don't have the heart to kill poor moonflower, in spite of her wanton wickedness.
Yours in Christ,
Witch Hammer
No Entry Fee for tithing members.

Moonflower draws in the wiccers from all around Iowa. With the high price of mooslum go-juice, we had better let the sleeping witch lie.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is offline
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD True Christian Provider™ award Babysitter Stamp of Approval Alternative Facts Pastor Ezekiel Christian Love True Scientist™ Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-02-2006, 11:15 PM

What is the status on using traps? I've spent a good amount of time assembling my traps and hunting down cute little plants that these hippies like to call "Mary Jane" to use as bait -- can I still use them? Is there a prize for bringing in *live* witches (for the pastors to attempt to torture exorcize), or shall I prevent any trouble and merely kill them on the spot?


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
MoonFlower's Avatar
MoonFlower MoonFlower is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Hellbound Heathen

 
Posts: 521
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Somewhere in Miami Beach....
MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.MoonFlower is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 12:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I'll cut you a deal. You bring enough wickers and warlocks out to the edge of the forest to make sure everyone gets a prize and I'll give you a pass. But you have to show it to a hunter BEFORE he shoots you or........
DEAL! I'm in! So far, I really wanna get this crazy biatch and her pack out of my forrest! I saw her the other day and we had a bit of a cat fight (I won... ), but the blood all over her and the rest of the pack gave me the creeps...especially since my honey bunney Mike is camping out in the woods. Here are the pics I have of them so far:



If you'll let me, I'll be more than happy to strap on a couple of Rambo-style guns and join you all. I'm sure Mike would really like that.

Moon

PS - In case you haven't noticed, Moon's a bit territorial whn it comes to her forrest.


You pray...I dance naked in the forest
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 12:45 AM

Heh. Good luck catching Lilith or I. At the very least you'd lose a finger in the process, and still come nowhere near catching us.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 10-03-2006 at 12:48 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Witch Hammer's Avatar
Witch Hammer Witch Hammer is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

2010 Witch Hunt Award One Year/1000 posts 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Provider™ award Pro-Life True Christian™ Friend of Jesus Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Pro-Life True Republican Saved 5 Years Tell her once Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Flat Earth Persecuted Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Punched the most queers Eats the Most Pork Kirk Cameron Fan Club Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016!

 
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Witch Hammer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Heh. Good luck catching Lilith or me. At the very least you'd lose a finger in the process, and still come nowhere near catching us.
That's why Jesus invented Carpet Bombing.

Never underestemate the arsenal of the modern witch hunter!
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 01:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer View Post
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing
Heh. Good luck catching Lilith or (me. Should be I not me! I used the correct wording here. You, child, did not.) At the very least you'd lose a finger in the process, and still come nowhere near catching us. old
That's why Jesus invented Carpet Bombing.
Never underestemate (should be underestimate!) the arsenal of the modern witch hunter!
Maybe once you master spelling and grammar, I might be less inclined to underestimate you. old



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 10-03-2006 at 01:11 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. is offline
Scientific Advisor
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Publisher's Choice True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Silver Tither True Heterosexual™ Ex-Gay True Scientist™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD True Christian Provider™ award Babysitter Stamp of Approval Alternative Facts Pastor Ezekiel Christian Love True Scientist™ Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 2,369
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Landover Baptist University for the Saved, Corridor 17C
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 01:11 AM

Never misunderestimate your enemies. As the Godly President stated:

Quote:
Originally Posted by King George W. Bush
They misunderestimated me
Such eloquence -- someday I predict that Mr. Bush will be quoted with the same reverence as Yogi Berra and Sir William Wordsworth.


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 01:14 AM

ARGH!!!!
Is one of the characteristics of younger TC™s (or potential TC™s the inability to use proper diction????



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 01:28 AM

Praise Jesus!

I will certainly try to grace this Godly event.
I've tried to arrange witch hunts myself but almost all of my appliances for permission have been rejected.
I've only been allown to hunt in Russia so far (thank Jesus they have such weak sickular laws), and to even arrange that costed ALOT of money.

Now, what about collateral damage?
Is the loss of this entire forest you're mentioning, acceptable?
Including any of its inhabitants.
(Might want to warn brother Mike to get out of there before the hunt begins though.)

Because I have a flamethrower and I would like to use it during this hunt.
I would also like to know if the use of thermite, mustard gas, and anti-personel mines is allowed?

Also, what's the entry fee?


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 01:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Maybe once you master spelling and grammar, I might be less inclined to underestimate you. old
Miss Von Hellseeker, it seems you have announced your witchdom on this thread. I seem to recall last year our pastors ruled that an Apache helicopter is allowed during archery season. I guess Apache is sort of an indian word, just like bow and arrow? Anyway, I think our pastors will be quite liberal (forgive me Jesus) just this one time.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 02:00 AM

After what happened last time to the people you sent to capture Lilith, I'm really not too worried.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 02:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
After what happened last time to the people you sent to capture Lilith, I'm really not too worried.
If you aren't worried, heathen scum, then you are'nt paying attention. Your IMMORTAL SOUL is in grave peril, and yet you waste your time attempting to correct Brother Hammer's perfectly correct American? And then you dig your firey pit deeper by mocking Jesus and persecuting us?

If I were you, witch, I'd be plenty worried.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 02:15 AM

Hmmm, a bunch of hunters with guns, nets and hunting dogs going through the woods. REEEEAAALL inconspicuous. Oh, how EVER could I manage avoid THAT?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 02:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Hmmm, a bunch of hunters with guns, nets and hunting dogs going through the woods. REEEEAAALL inconspicuous. Oh, how EVER could I manage avoid THAT?
Oh don't you worry your empty little head. Brother Mike is camping in the woods for a couple of weeks and he promised to construct a witch blind that we could share. You won't know what hit you.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Rachael Van Helsing's Avatar
Rachael Van Helsing Rachael Van Helsing is offline
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cancer on Society Uppity Woman/Enabler Witch

 
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Rachael Van Helsing is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: WITCH HUNT 2006 Please Read! - 10-03-2006, 02:29 AM

And what, exactly, makes you think that I would be in the same part of the woods at that same time? Or in the woods at all?
Rituals don't NEED to be conducted outside.

Sorry Zekey. Better luck on a more hapless victim, eh?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
witch hunt

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved