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Default My Wife is pregnant! - 02-14-2016, 05:57 AM
Praise Jesus! My wife is finally pregnant! I was worried for a few days that she had demons inside her stench trench, because after 17 seeding sessions God was not answering my prayers about the status of my wife's pregnancy, but after 59 long, and gruesome seedings stretched out over a few days she is finally pregnant. I assume the demons inside her meat wallet got tired of dodging my meat soldier on a daily basis so they went back to hell. I was praying after the 59th time, and the Lord told me that I should expect a son in 9 months! Praise Jesus! I can't wait to be a father!

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."
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Default Re: My Wife is pregnant! - 02-14-2016, 11:30 AM
Congratulations! I wish you and your family well!
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Default Re: My Wife is pregnant! - 02-14-2016, 01:53 PM
Mr. Vessel, may I remind you that women and children visit these boards. Perhaps we should use language that is bit more delicate in nature?

Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Default Re: My Wife is pregnant! - 02-14-2016, 03:34 PM
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Mr. Vessel, may I remind you that women and children visit these boards. Perhaps we should use language that is bit more delicate in nature?

Amen, Sister. It is gratifying to know that a staunch Christian, such as yourself, is watching over the moral and ethical direction of this godly site. The Pastors can not be expected to attend to every single detail. Strong language is never welcome.

God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: My Wife is pregnant! - 02-14-2016, 03:47 PM
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Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
Mr. Vessel, may I remind you that women and children visit these boards. Perhaps we should use language that is bit more delicate in nature?
Hello Victory,

Perhaps this is one of those rough diamonds. With 59 attempts in a few days, just to please Jesus, Fear of the Lord must be great in this one.

Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: My Wife is pregnant! - 02-14-2016, 04:31 PM
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Mr. Vessel, may I remind you that women and children visit these boards. Perhaps we should use language that is bit more delicate in nature?
Very well Sister. I will use less harsh language next time. My apologies

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."
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Default Re: My Wife is pregnant! - 02-14-2016, 10:38 PM
It is almost as if you didn't bother to read my incredibly insightful guide: Cranky Old Man's Easy 8 Step Guide to MAKING CHILDREN!

My incredibly insightful guide clearly states that details on sex can be found in Genesis 29:30 (about going into the women) and Leviticus 15:32 (about the seed you have to plant).

If you would have followed the Bible to the letter you would only need to have sex one time to make a child, not 59 times.

Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Karameek Karameek is offline
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Thumbs up Re: My Wife is pregnant! - 02-16-2016, 04:27 PM
Congratulations to you and your family! I do hope you have the precious boy you are hoping for.
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