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Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-02-2016, 05:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by queerfreddy View Post
being gay is OK!
OK? OK? That's what you call "OK," being a wicked sinner, your body pressed against that of a tall, dark, handsome stranger you just met at some club somewhere, the two of you locking eyes and exchanging sinful glances as his greedy hand suddenly launches like a rocket straight for your bulge until you both are just about dry h*mping already, your breath mixing with his as you both know full well that you are about to give into carnal passions that will send you careening into fits of furious, savage physicality and physical greed, demanding, taking one another like dogs in heat?

That's disgusting!!! It disgusts GOD, it disgusts my brothers and sisters in CHRIST, and it sure as daylight disgusts me, too. It is far, far, far from "OK" to even think of doing the Florentine Flamenco, the Tennessee Tango, the Mecca Mambo, or even a casual Pensacola Howdy-Do with another man, just who says that it's "OK?" The devil, that's who!

Quote:
church has got to realize it before everybody realizes that they are just a bunch of homophobic old men or women who like to rant into their computers and just talk to people who think the same thing as them, look the same as them, and are as brainwashed as them.
What, before we realize that we are all devout Christians? Do you know what a church is? Maybe do some reading from a certain book you might have heard of, it's called the Bible and as it so happens, it's the word of GOD.


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-02-2016, 05:31 AM

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Originally Posted by queerfreddy View Post
being gay is OK!
church has got to realize it before everybody realizes that they are just a bunch of homophobic old men or women who like to rant into their computers and just talk to people who think the same thing as them, look the same as them, and are as brainwashed as them.

Okay, you just described just about everyone who has ever used the internet.




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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-03-2016, 04:33 AM

Ummm, there's no brainwashing here! We follow the Bible to the letter as our faith calls us too! You can't generally force people to accept and obey Christ just like you can't lead a horse to water and expect them to drink. Otherwise, Mr. Trump would already be president, a wall would be built, women would no longer be eligible to vote, men would be men, and America would be great again!


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 12:33 AM

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Originally Posted by Anne Sayne View Post
Now can you tell us how to spot a lesbian?
  • They play sports. As even the Christ-hating entertainment media tell females, "You're supposed to date jocks, not be one."
  • They buy their clothes in the big and tall men's department.
  • They wear "sensible" shoes, although I don't see what's so sensible about living a deathstyle that so outrages Jesus.
  • They comb their hair like Justin Bieber.
  • They cannot spell "women" correctly.
  • They worship a goddess, when every Biblically literate person knows that the Lord is a man of war (Exodus 15:3).


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 05:58 AM

Thanks for the advice! This should come in handy sometime, especially for George's preaching.


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 08:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
  • They play sports. As even the Christ-hating entertainment media tell females, "You're supposed to date jocks, not be one."
  • They buy their clothes in the big and tall men's department.
  • They wear "sensible" shoes, although I don't see what's so sensible about living a deathstyle that so outrages Jesus.
  • They comb their hair like Justin Bieber.
  • They cannot spell "women" correctly.
  • They worship a goddess, when every Biblically literate person knows that the Lord is a man of war (Exodus 15:3).
I might add that they are far far stronger than people. They use this strength to intimidate wives from leaving perfectly decent, God fearing husbands

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 09:03 AM

We must not forget the lezboid propensity for dying their hair unnatural hues, and their fanatical aversion to razors and hygiene in general. If she is musclebound, has braided armpit hair that is neon green, and smells of three day old salmon, she is without doubt a lezbean.


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 02:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne Sayne View Post
Now can you tell us how to spot a lesbian?

They are stern women with comfortable shoes.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 03:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
They are stern women with comfortable shoes.
Often accompanied by a lisp (the accepted collective noun) of prancing queers who operate the more delicate equipment (phones, computers, padlocks or petards) that the lesbipathic's sausage like fingers are unable to cope with.

Talk about ironical.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 06:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
Often accompanied by a lisp (the accepted collective noun) of prancing queers who operate the more delicate equipment (phones, computers, padlocks or petards) that the lesbipathic's sausage like fingers are unable to cope with.

Talk about ironical.

YIC
The only "delicate equipment" I use are a whisk and a bowl to make meals. Also this computer, but it's George's and I have permission


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 08:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne Sayne View Post
The only "delicate equipment" I use are a whisk and a bowl to make meals. Also this computer, but it's George's and I have permission
Why would a woman be so repressed?

Oh right; the Bible.

By the way (if anyone's interested) I finished my degree in Psychology: I got a 2:1!


A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-24-2016, 11:14 PM

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Originally Posted by FreeFromBrains View Post
Why would a woman be so repressed?

Oh right; the Bible.

By the way (if anyone's interested) I finished my degree in Psychology: I got a 2:1!
I am not "repressed." I'm just doing what I'm commanded and following God's law 100% and completely submitting to my husband as God commands.
Plus, nobody cares about your psychology degree.


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-25-2016, 12:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne Sayne View Post
Plus, nobody cares about your psychology degree.
Any psychology that is not grounded in Biblical psychology is junk science. The Bible not only teaches us how to live, it teaches us how to think.


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Scared Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-25-2016, 10:36 AM

Very interesting. Ill have to be more careful so that i am not mistaken for a faggot.
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-25-2016, 10:40 AM

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Originally Posted by Vreb56 View Post
Very interesting. Ill have to be more careful so that i am not mistaken for a faggot.
Yes, be more careful. Stop going to gay bars, and when a Guy invites you to his apartment, just say no.


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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-25-2016, 02:37 PM

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Originally Posted by Des View Post
Any psychology that is not grounded in Biblical psychology is junk science. The Bible not only teaches us how to live, it teaches us how to think.
Exactly!


God is about as real as unicorns and dragons.
Revelation 12:9
Job 39:9
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-25-2016, 04:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
Any psychology that is not grounded in Biblical psychology is junk science. The Bible not only teaches us how to live, it teaches us how to think.
Indeed. True Christians™ are compelled to warn the unsuspecting unbeliever of the Truth™, but the message just isn't being heeded enough.




Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Jesus Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 11-25-2016, 10:35 PM

I will just be glad when, during a Donald Trump presidency, we all pick up the newspaper and read:


HOMOSEKSHERALISM IS ILLEAGEL!


There is no reason that a man should touch another man other than for a friendly handshake or (very short) pat on the back. I mean, there are exceptions like CPR and helping someone up who has fallen. Other than that, a man touches me and he ends up on the floor through the help of my God-given righteous indignation. GLORY


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 01-23-2018, 05:51 PM

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Originally Posted by demoncooter View Post
Being gay is not a choice. For goodness sake, why can't you people get that in your heads? You are born gay, it's inside you. You cannot change your mind, it just happens and love is a beautiful thing no matter who it is between, gay or straight. God said love thy neighbor, God said not to judge people so if you're so into your religion quit judging people and just accept them for who they are!
Being Gay is very much a choice and moreover, it is the work of Satan to increase his unholy flock with AIDS infested minions. It's so obvious even a school child can explain it.




Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual - 01-24-2018, 02:47 AM

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Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Being Gay is very much a choice and moreover, it is the work of Satan to increase his unholy flock with AIDS infested minions. It's so obvious even a school child can explain it.
That Satan inspired view there is no choice about which sex one is attracted to is bought into by soooo many liberals. Satan knows where to make his pitch. It is to those uninformed about the Bible.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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