[Hank Whitlock]

My name Hank Whitlock and I live in the Denver Colorado area. I've been attending a small Baptist church for about four years. I recently discovered after viewing your forums that my church has false doctrines. I would love if you people at Landover could show me the truth and the way and not false teachings like my church that I've stopped attending. My favorite verse from the Bible is Mathew 12:45

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by Hank Whitlock

My name Hank Whitlock and I live in the Denver Colorado area.

Hello, dear, and to our Godly forum!

I've been attending a small Baptist church for about four years. I recently discovered after viewing your forums that my church has false doctrines. I would love if you people at Landover could show me the truth and the way and not false teachings like my church that I've stopped attending.

The answer to your question is much simpler than you suspect:



It really is that simple! Read and obey the Word of God, all of it, without skipping the parts about xenophobia, misogyny, and (obviously) homophobia.

My favorite verse from the Bible is Mathew 12:45

Good choice! Many unsaved trash feel insulted by our tough love, but this verse shows that Jesus used the same approach (calling his listeners "this wicked generation").

[Hank Whitlock]

Originally Posted by Basilissa

Hello, dear, and to our Godly forum!



The answer to your question is much simpler than you suspect:



It really is that simple! Read and obey the Word of God, all of it, without skipping the parts about xenophobia, misogyny, and (obviously) homophobia.



Good choice! Many unsaved trash feel insulted by our tough love, but this verse shows that Jesus used the same approach (calling his listeners "this wicked generation").

The church I attended would always change scripture to their advantage. The breaking point of me leaving was when the preacher preached a sermon on "Why we should Love Gays." I left in the middle of the sermon because I was so angry. So should I leave my church to burn in hell or should I started telling them about how God really is?

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by Hank Whitlock

The church I attended would always change scripture to their advantage. The breaking point of me leaving was when the preacher preached a sermon on "Why we should Love Gays." I left in the middle of the sermon because I was so angry. So should I leave my church to burn in hell or should I started telling them about how God really is?

Good question. Most probably, God has sent a delusion to your pastor and your congregation, so that He can send them to :

2 Thessalonians 2:11-12
11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:
12 That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

Therefore, telling them that God hates them will probably be a waste of time.

On the other hand, you'll probably feel better about yourself if you try to do all what you can to save them, showing the true Word of God to these hellbound heathens.

[Alvin Moss]

Originally Posted by Hank Whitlock

My name Hank Whitlock and I live in the Denver Colorado area. I've been attending a small Baptist church for about four years. I recently discovered after viewing your forums that my church has false doctrines. I would love if you people at Landover could show me the truth and the way and not false teachings like my church that I've stopped attending. My favorite verse from the Bible is Mathew 12:45

Most of the people in Colorado, especially in the Denver/Colorado Springs area, are in a confused state, due primarily to the marijuana smoke that is now clouding the skies. As a result, crime is rampant in the streets and false doctrines have invaded even the Christian churches. Burning the stores selling these noxious products will only make things worse. I advise you to leave the immediate area of the marijuana smoke at your earliest convenience. Then, out in the hinterlands, far from the drug smoke, you can devise a plan to destroy the Devil's people who have taken control of your state.

[1liesalot]

I am concerned that none of you have come to the one and only true church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mozzarella cheese be upon him. Do you not understand that you will be pasta shelled with pasta shells until dead? Repent and accept the mighty mercy of the levitating pasta unit above the firminent in the sky. He boiled in a bag for your sins and mudt be glorified.

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by 1liesalot

I am concerned that none of you have come to the one and only true church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mozzarella cheese be upon him. Do you not understand that you will be pasta shelled with pasta shells until dead? Repent and accept the mighty mercy of the levitating pasta unit above the firminent in the sky. He boiled in a bag for your sins and mudt be glorified.

Hi sweetie,

I will pray that you repent for your sins and accept Jesus as your Savior.

[1liesalot]

Originally Posted by Basilissa

Hi sweetie,

I will pray that you repent for your sins and accept Jesus as your Savior.

Burn in a pot noodle receptacle for all eternity. All praise is due to the Noodly one.

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by 1liesalot

Burn in a pot noodle receptacle for all eternity. All praise is due to the Noodly one.

You I can identify as one whom I have the blessings to Thump.

There are people in here looking for God. You are in here looking for a thumping from God. There is a difference.
There is a Rehabilitation unit you would suit just fine, the wallpaper is made out of Pasta.

[1liesalot]

Originally Posted by Alvin Moss

Most of the people in Colorado, especially in the Denver/Colorado Springs area, are in a confused state, due primarily to the marijuana smoke that is now clouding the skies. As a result, crime is rampant in the streets and false doctrines have invaded even the Christian churches. Burning the stores selling these noxious products will only make things worse. I advise you to leave the immediate area of the marijuana smoke at your earliest convenience. Then, out in the hinterlands, far from the drug smoke, you can devise a plan to destroy the Devil's people who have taken control of your state.

This is what is making them entertain unholy ideas. They don't even believe our universe is only 6,000 years old and they think evolution is actually true! All because they are on the poxy reefer.

[Alvin Moss]

It is not the pot that has led the heathens of Colorado to reject Jesus. It is the rejection of Jesus that has led to the pot smoking. When the Lord is removed from the lives of the citizenry, chaos takes root.

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by 1liesalot

This is what is making them entertain unholy ideas.

Laziness in ones beliefs dawn the laziness of ones behaviors and the Sinful overthrowing of ones being.

Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.
Proverbs 13:5 A righteous man hateth lying: but a wicked man is loathsome, and cometh to shame.
Proverbs 13:6 Righteousness keepeth him that is upright in the way: but wickedness overthroweth the sinner.

Finding God can make a person higher than any Sinful act. With Gods eternal bliss comes freedom of Sin

1 Peter 4:7 But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer.
1 Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

[Nobar King]

We're all probably going to hell. So, that's a problem.

[1liesalot]

Originally Posted by Alvin Moss

It is not the pot that has led the heathens of Colorado to reject Jesus. It is the rejection of Jesus that has led to the pot smoking. When the Lord is removed from the lives of the citizenry, chaos takes root.

No it is the constant worrying that does it because the entire population of the Godforsaken place knows that a man should not lie with another man because this causes earthquakes. They know the ground is about to swallow them up and they know that when the baby Jesus comes again, armed with his gigantic celestial vacuum cleaner, they will be left behind in the bowels of eternal molten hell-fire by God because God so loves them. So they prefer to become mockers coming a-mocking because they are sinners and they want to keep right on sinning. What about when the Lord smites them? They will be sooooo sorry and anyway, they have no souls.

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by 1liesalot

<<<meaningless babbling deleted>>>

Still praying for you.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by 1liesalot

I am concerned that none of you have come to the one and only true church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Mozzarella cheese be upon him. Do you not understand that you will be pasta shelled with pasta shells until dead? Repent and accept the mighty mercy of the levitating pasta unit above the firminent in the sky. He boiled in a bag for your sins and mudt be glorified.

You do realise that the Pasta god is nothing but a demonic spirit and not a god at all. Jesus will soon put paid to all of it's tomfoolery.

Mark 3:11 - And unclean spirits, when they saw him, fell down before him, and cried, saying, Thou art the Son of God.

YIC

[1liesalot]

Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles

You do realise that the Pasta god is nothing but a demonic spirit and not a god at all. Jesus will soon put paid to all of it's tomfoolery.

Mark 3:11 - And unclean spirits, when they saw him, fell down before him, and cried, saying, Thou art the Son of God.

YIC

I peed into a lake of macaroni cheese with cauliflower.

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by 1liesalot

I peed into a lake of macaroni cheese with cauliflower.

Young Retarded Lady. I am having trouble blaming you entirely for your spastic like comments when it is proving more obvious with every word you type that your Mother chose to have Down Syndrome before your birth.
What obsesses a Woman to become Down Syndrome is a mystery, yet after giving birth to a mockery like you I would assume the choice to do so would be inevitably obvious regardless.
Please tell me how many times she dropped you on your head when distracted with the urge to lick a window rather than hold you correctly. Was it over a 100 or under 500? I suppose I could also assume you lived in a glass house.

Gods speed with your reply.

Brother BAW.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by 1liesalot

I peed into a lake of macaroni cheese with cauliflower.

Why are you being so mean? This is a Christian forum and yet you seem to only want to ride rough shod over our most cherished beliefs: good people have treated you with only respect and decorum.

You may not be bathed in the Blood of Christ but is that any reason to be so hateful?

I'm praying for you.

YIC

[1liesalot]

Originally Posted by Back against wall

Young Retarded Lady. I am having trouble blaming you entirely for your spastic like comments when it is proving more obvious with every word you type that your Mother chose to have Down Syndrome before your birth.
What obsesses a Woman to become Down Syndrome is a mystery, yet after giving birth to a mockery like you I would assume the choice to do so would be inevitably obvious regardless.
Please tell me how many times she dropped you on your head when distracted with the urge to lick a window rather than hold you correctly. Was it over a 100 or under 500? I suppose I could also assume you lived in a glass house.

Gods speed with your reply.

Brother BAW.

I am essense of hamster vomit and that is what my one solitary brain cell was made of before it died of lonliness. Surely I am a eunuch. Here is what the lord our God thinks of eunuchs. It is from Deuteronomy 23:1.

“He that is wounded in the stones or hath his private member cut off shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord.