[Pastor Ezekiel]

It is good to be a man because:

- Your phone calls usually last for 30 seconds;

- You only need one small suitcase for a week of vacation;

- You can open all bottles yourself;

- Your good friends do not care about you putting on weight;

- The shape of your buttocks does not play any role in your professional career;

- All of your orgasms are real;

- You don’t have to carry a whole bag of different things that you need every day;

- Your underwear costs ten dollars and it is a three-pack;

- You need to shave only your face;

- None of your colleagues at work can make you cry;

- You don’t have to sleep every night next to a hairy ass;

- If you are a 35-year-old bachelor, no one will pay any attention to it;

- Everything that you have on your face and body is absolutely natural, including the color;

- Five pairs of shoes are more than just enough;

- You can take your shirt off if it is hot;

- You don’t know how periods work and what on Earth they are;

- People never stare at your chest when they talk to you;

- You do not have to memorize the dates of everyone’s weddings and birthdays;

- If another man appears at a party dressed exactly like you are, he may become your best friend.

Do you brothers have any more to add?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

It is good to be a man because:

- Your phone calls usually last for 30 seconds;

- You only need one small suitcase for a week of vacation;

- You can open all bottles yourself;

- Your good friends do not care about you putting on weight;

- The shape of your buttocks does not play any role in your professional career;

- All of your orgasms are real;

- You don’t have to carry a whole bag of different things that you need every day;

- Your underwear costs ten dollars and it is a three-pack;

- You need to shave only your face;

- None of your colleagues at work can make you cry;

- You don’t have to sleep every night next to a hairy ass;

- If you are a 35-year-old bachelor, no one will pay any attention to it;

- Everything that you have on your face and body is absolutely natural, including the color;

- Five pairs of shoes are more than just enough;

- You can take your shirt off if it is hot;

- You don’t know how periods work and what on Earth they are;

- People never stare at your chest when they talk to you;

- You do not have to memorize the dates of everyone’s weddings and birthdays;

- If another man appears at a party dressed exactly like you are, he may become your best friend.

Do you brothers have any more to add?

• Your meal selection is based on taste, not resulting damage
• no one notices if you've put on weight.
• if they do no one cares.

[Bobby-Joe]

The best is; if you are a man you are sure you have a soul.

[Deaner]

I'm glad that as a man I'm not responsible for the entire human race living in pain and suffering because of our expulsion from the Garden of Eden because of a woman. Six thousand years of people living in misery and depression must be an awful weight on your conscience. No wonder women always have that vacant, squirrley look on their face.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

• Man is the image and glory of God (I Cor. 11:7), but woman is like a second-generation fax.
• Our wives have to treat us as though we were God (Eph. 5:22).
• We don't have to sleep out in the garden shed for at least a week out of every month because we don't have periods (Lev. 15:19).

[Larry Lee]

God instructs True Christian™ women to enjoy performing oral copulation. (Thank you, God!)

Song of Solomon 4:

[3] I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
[4] He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.

[H. Montague Worthington]

- Even the most glaring shortcomings and inadequacies can be eliminated by simply procuring the proper gun or automobile.
- Urination while standing.
- Sexual conquests are the source of open congratulation instead of whispers and giggles.

[lord warrior]

Never have to worry how my hair looks.

Weather I'm in fashion.

I am the lord and master of my household.

I can be a pastor at my church.

I am not, or ever have been, turned on by a hairy backed male=no homer here.

I am not afflected by a monthly bloody curse.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

I sure wish I was a man!

[Elmer Christianson]

When a man is pissed off at someone, he either punches them or forgets about it . . . this is much more productive than secretly hating someone for ten years as the women do.

I've never been compelled to write down secret codes about what my wedding tackle is doing on the side of refrigerator.

And changing out a bad starter or alternator makes so much more sense that standing around crying (unless this is some secret way to get pounded).

[Poetic Peter]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

It is good to be a man because:

- Your phone calls usually last for 30 seconds;

- You only need one small suitcase for a week of vacation;

- You can open all bottles yourself;

- Your good friends do not care about you putting on weight;

- The shape of your buttocks does not play any role in your professional career;

- All of your orgasms are real;

- You don’t have to carry a whole bag of different things that you need every day;

- Your underwear costs ten dollars and it is a three-pack;

- You need to shave only your face;

- None of your colleagues at work can make you cry;

- You don’t have to sleep every night next to a hairy ass;

- If you are a 35-year-old bachelor, no one will pay any attention to it;

- Everything that you have on your face and body is absolutely natural, including the color;

- Five pairs of shoes are more than just enough;

- You can take your shirt off if it is hot;

- You don’t know how periods work and what on Earth they are;

- People never stare at your chest when they talk to you;

- You do not have to memorize the dates of everyone’s weddings and birthdays;

- If another man appears at a party dressed exactly like you are, he may become your best friend.

Do you brothers have any more to add?

A few more of the thousand things
that make a man next to God.


-He does no floors, windows or ironing (or washing);

-"honey dew" has no question mark;

-lots of drive. No drivel.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Tools, tools, tools, tools……

Building Arks, dropping the tranny and changing the throw-out bearing, putting up ladder rack in the basement and running RG-6 from the Sat Dish and Cat-5 to the den, demoing the wainscoting and putting up sheet rock, hammer drill out the wimpy pink bathroom tile, gunnite the back yard pool, change the leaky check valve on the water heater, build forms for the concrete pour for the containment vessel on the home nuclear reactor. All in a days work for men, manhood and manliness. Praise Jesus!

[Seeker]

How do you guys hide all those calluses?

Jesus see's you!!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Seeker

How do you guys hide all those calluses?

Jesus see's you!!

Do you see the sign that says MEN ONLY?!?!?!? GET OUT!

[Seeker]

Your good friends do not care about you putting on weight;

Yeah because they do not have to sleep with ya. Otherwise.....homers come easy..............true women not so much..

All of your orgasms are real;

And premature.

- You do not have to memorize the dates of everyone’s weddings and birthdays;

Unless you want you're ass kicked...

- You can take your shirt off if it is hot;

Or put it back on if you even think of getting some nookie that night...

Oh heck I could go on and on...Whoopsie... Sorry for wandering in the wrong forum. It must be the unconfessed sin in me...Forgive and forget. That would be WWJD

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Originally Posted by Seeker

And premature.

You do make sweeping generalizations about men. Are they based on experience?

Or put it back on if you even think of getting some nookie that night...

Excuse me, but a True Christian™ wife, the only woman who has any business performing the baby-making marital act, knows that she must submit to her husband unless they have agreed to spend some time apart for fasting and prayer (I Corinthians 7:5) or she is having her lady's time of the month (Lev. 20:18).

Oh heck I could go on and on...Whoopsie... Sorry for wandering in the wrong forum. It must be the unconfessed sin in me...Forgive and forget. That would be WWJD

Chapter and verse, please. Also, Jesus said, "Go, and sin no more" (John 8:11), so I trust that you're going to do just that.

[Seeker]

You do make sweeping generalizations about men. Are they based on experience?

Not just my own but many others.....women.

Excuse me, but a True Christian™ wife, the only woman who has any business performing the baby-making marital act, knows that she must submit to her husband unless they have agreed to spend some time apart for fasting and prayer (I Corinthians 7:5) or she is having her lady's time of the month (Lev. 20:18).

That is why I have 10 kids to prove my submission. Not much if you really think about it.

Chapter and verse, please. Also, Jesus said, "Go, and sin no more" (John 8:11), so I trust that you're going to do just that.

Yes....Just to save you all some time..

Infraction #937502760666

Okay I feel better now. If it was not for those I would never get no pm's at all.. But hey I did want to answer your questions.

[SalvationSeeker]

I can't believe nobody has pointed out the most obvious difference!

- As men, we're capable of coherent thoughts, and expressing them verbally and/or in writing.
(Well, most of us are capable of this atleast.. Not so many atheist men are.)

Not just my own but many others.....women.

See what I mean? ^
This is what happens when a woman, ANY woman, tries to think and/or express her 'opinions'.

[Brother Temperance]

A few more:

1. My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.
2. I can be confident that my co-workers won't think I got my job because of my sex - even though that might be true.
3. If I am never promoted, it's not because of my sex.
4. If I fail in my job or career, I can feel sure this won't be seen as a black mark against my entire sex's capabilities.
5. The odds of my encountering sexual harassment on the job are so low as to be negligible.
6. If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.
7. If I'm a teen or adult, and if I can stay out of prison, my odds of being raped are so low as to be negligible.
8. I am not taught to fear walking alone after dark in average public spaces.
9. If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be called into question.
10. If I have children but do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be called into question.
11. If I have children and provide primary care for them, I'll be praised for extraordinary parenting if I'm even marginally competent.
12. If I have children and pursue a career, no one will think I'm selfish for not staying at home.
13. If I seek political office, my relationship with my children, or who I hire to take care of them, will probably not be scrutinized by the press.
14. Chances are my elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious and powerful the elected position, the more likely this is to be true.
15. I can be somewhat sure that if I ask to see "the person in charge," I will face a person of my own sex. The higher-up in the organization the person is, the surer I can be.
16. As a child, chances are I was encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters.
17. As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children's media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male heroes were the default.
18. As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often.
19. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones.
20. I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented, every day, without exception.
21. If I'm careless with my financial affairs it won't be attributed to my sex.
22. If I'm careless with my driving it won't be attributed to my sex.
23. I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.
24. If I have sex with a lot of people, it won't make me an object of contempt or derision.
25. There are value-neutral clothing choices available to me; it is possible for me to choose clothing that doesn't send any particular message to the world.
26. My wardrobe and grooming are relatively cheap and consume little time.
27. If I buy a new car, chances are I'll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car.
28. If I'm not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.
29. I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.
30. I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called "crime" and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called "domestic violence" or "acquaintance rape," and is seen as a special interest issue.)
31. I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. "All men are created equal…," mailman, chairman, freshman, he.
32. My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
33. I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if i don't change my name.
34. The decision to hire me will never be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
35. Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is usually pictured as being male.
36. Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.
37. If I have a wife or girlfriend, chances are we'll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks.
38. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, chances are she'll do most of the childrearing, and in particular the most dirty, repetitive and unrewarding parts of childrearing.
39. If I have children with a wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we'll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.
40. Magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are much rarer.
41. I am not expected to spend my entire life 20-40 pounds underweight.
42. If I am heterosexual, it's incredibly unlikely that I'll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.
43. I have the privilege of being unaware of my male privilege.

HALLELUJAH! PRAISE HIM! SHOUT GLORY!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Praise HIS name!!

AMEN!!!