General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
07-09-2015, 04:56 PM
After some weeks of quiet contemplation Jesus is again appearing in unexpected places. This is most probably due to the disastrous decision to make the homer marriage compulsory.
First, Jesus Christ was seen on an x-ray film called orthopantomography that is used to visualize teeth and the jaw bone.
This is not surprising. On the contrary, this is a direct threat by Jesus to stop propagating sodomy of else... He'll slay the unbelievers in unprecedented numbers (note: the word 'dentition' has similarities to unprecedented, which cannot be a coincidence)!
Judges 15:15
And he found a new jawbone of an ass, and put forth his hand, and took it, and slew a thousand men therewith.
In addition, a picture taken a few years back depicting a conventional kitchen ceiling has been re-examined and Jesus has, again appeared to watch over us.
Again, this was expected. Jesus habitually makes stealth visits to observe, to judge and sometimes to reward and heal!
Matthew 8:8
The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant shall be healed.
As the End of Times draws near, we can expect more and more of these glorious visitations!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
07-14-2015, 08:27 PM
Jesus shows up again, in Godly Texas of course!
Quote:
The Polks said you can even see Christ's ribs and a tiny cross in his hand. They said this is proof that God is in Gonzales.
"It's amazing that He thinks enough of us to put this here," said another Polk sister, Iris.
|
Amazing, indeed! Jesus showed up on a cow trailer, this time His Holy Medium was rust. But no matter, He would still be Divine in He showed up in the manure in the back of the trailer! We just know He'll be back in cheese in no time, comforting the faithful to hang on until He calls them Home in Glory!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
07-28-2015, 04:12 AM
Glory!
As a sign of wrath and deep disappointment in mankind Jesus appeared as a thundercloud!
This is excellent news and means that soon we'll be rewarded for the hard work we've been doing for our Lord Jesus Christ!
1 Samuel 2:10
The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall he thunder upon them: the LORD shall judge the ends of the earth; and he shall give strength unto his king, and exalt the horn of his anointed.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
07-28-2015, 05:42 AM
Mercy me, but I think I spy a diminutive Richard Dawkins kneeling in judgment there on Jesus' right! A glorious portent indeed.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
07-28-2015, 05:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
Glory!
As a sign of wrath and deep disappointment in mankind Jesus appeared as a thundercloud!
This is excellent news and means that soon we'll be rewarded for the hard work we've been doing for our Lord Jesus Christ!
1 Samuel 2:10
The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces; out of heaven shall he thunder upon them: the LORD shall judge the ends of the earth; and he shall give strength unto his king, and exalt the horn of his anointed.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
|
Brother, I think this may be a double sighting of Jesus, which doesn't surprise me, considering His omnipresence. The smaller (or more distant?) Jesus on the lower right of the photo looks to be shouldering a weighty haversack packed with the sins of all mankind.
|
|
True Christian™
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,290
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: In Jesus' lap
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
07-28-2015, 01:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
|
Jesus is so manly, isn't He? His arms and chest are rippling with muscles. That's proof enough for me that He hates poofters.
|
Unsaved trash, suspected retard
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: in bed with my fag boyfriend
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
07-28-2015, 03:01 PM
I'll play along...
|
|
Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
07-28-2015, 03:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goon Luver
I'll play along...
|
Perhaps a True Christian™ will correct me but that is not Jesus, see Revelation 1:14.
Your Pictures clearly show a ¨Jesus¨ with darker hair.
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
08-17-2015, 10:10 AM
Verily, Jesus is everywhere and He reaches out His hand to all sinners (while, sadly, only a few grasp it). He's now been spotted in Godless UK in a prison toilet in Birmingham!
1 Peter 3:19
By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison;
God is awesome and magnificent!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
08-22-2015, 08:49 PM
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
10-06-2015, 03:33 PM
Jesus compels a Mexican woman to love Him (Luke 14:23) or burn forever (John 3:18) by burning an image of His Divine Face into her brain via non-functioning internal organs, and strokes, and all kinds of debilitating and terminal reminders of His Love!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
10-06-2015, 06:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Jesus compels a Mexican woman to love Him (Luke 14:23) or burn forever (John 3:18) by burning an image of His Divine Face into her brain via non-functioning internal organs, and strokes, and all kinds of debilitating and terminal reminders of His Love!
|
seems to love to make sneaky surprise appearance in X-rays. I just love His sense of humor.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
10-16-2015, 09:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
seems to love to make sneaky surprise appearance in X-rays. I just love His sense of humor.
|
Indeed! I think He likes to surprise the radiologists and doctors as well as the patients when His Divine Internal Selfie appears next to the cancerous tumor, so lovingly gifted to those He wants to frighten into repentance!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
10-17-2015, 02:38 AM
I was told Jesus is in this picture but I think I need new Glasses
Maybe it's one of those squint and see images?
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
|
|
Unsaved trash, avowed godmocker
|
|
Posts: 187
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New York
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
10-17-2015, 03:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goon Luver
I'll play along...
|
The one on the left is Elvis....
Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”
|
|
Possibly retarded pothead
|
|
Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
10-17-2015, 04:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall
I was told Jesus is in this picture but I think I need new Glasses
Maybe it's one of those squint and see images?
|
I see him! He is in the lower left corner. Black Jesus. Yeshua before he was HIM Ras Tafari.
|
|
Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
10-17-2015, 06:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari
I see him! He is in the lower left corner. Black Jesus. Yeshua before he was HIM Ras Tafari.
|
You can spot a jig in that bunch a loons?
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
03-30-2016, 04:56 PM
Jesus spends Easter looking in on atheist:
Quote:
A man claims he had a religious experience on Easter Sunday when the 'face of Jesus appeared' in his garden bush.
Gobsmacked Michael Coughlan, 55, was peering out his back window when he says he saw the image in his shrubbery.
Michael claims to have witnessed the holy face looking back at him yesterday, the day that celebrates the son of God's return from the dead.
Dad-of-four Michael, of Bolton, Greater Manchester, said: "I went into the room on Sunday and looked out the window and saw this face."
"I joked about it being Jesus but in the afternoon my friend came round and said it looked more like Rick Parfitt from Status Quo," he continued.
"Hand on my heart I had never noticed it before.
"I'm not even religious."
|
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 13
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Up Gerard Way's ass
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
03-31-2016, 12:19 AM
I hope you guys realize that that's not what Jesus looked like...he was middle eastern, for god's sake. He probably looked a lot more like this attached photograph. Plus, the one of the eye...that's definite photoshop. Sorry to rain on your parade.
|
|
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
|
|
Posts: 14,451
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
|
|
Re: Jesus Spotting! -
03-31-2016, 01:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by gerardwayruinedme
I hope you guys realize that that's not what Jesus looked like...he was middle eastern, for god's sake...
|
Yeah, and if you think everyone who lived there at the time looked like your personal preconception, you've swallowed a lot of someone's propaganda. Populations move, and the people who live there now don't necessarily have anything to do with the people who used to live there, two thousand years ago.
Quote:
...He probably looked a lot more like this attached photograph...
|
1) Attached photograph? GJ!!
2) Every gather round! We found actual evidence of what Jesus looked like!!!11!! Oh, wait, it's just someone's personal opinion, again, offered with no evidence at all, or support of any variety, AGAIN. Never mind, go back to your homes, nothing to see here.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|