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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Question for Catholics -
02-26-2023, 10:43 PM
I have some questions I have for practicing Catholics. I have been a recovered Catholic for some time and so I have forgotten much of the Catechism. Please answer these questions with the sincerity in which I ask.
- Is there a size or weight limit to the cracker before one priest is not sufficient to charge it?
- Is there a proximity limit for the priest to utter his incantations over the crackers?
- How can a person tell if their cracker is a Pedo-Cracker or a normal cracker with no magical powers?
- Does the attractiveness of the altar boy increase the priest's magical power? For example, did the priest who blessed the cracker Lance Armstrong took to the moon have sex with a very pretty boy? Like a child actor maybe? Do eunuchs count?
- If a priest has sex with a woman, how much power is depleted from his incantation? How much is absorbed by her sin box?
- Can a negro priest bless crack for the inner city Catholics and will that count?
- Is it okay for a white person to eat a cracker that a negro priest uttered his incantation over?
- Would God ever allow an ex-Jew to become a priest?
- If a Jew becomes a priest, will the flesh of Jesus become killed again the moment the Jew blesses the cracker?
Thank you for your help. I appreciate it.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Question for Catholics -
02-27-2023, 03:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
I have some questions I have for practicing Catholics. I have been a recovered Catholic for some time and so I have forgotten much of the Catechism. Please answer these questions with the sincerity in which I ask. - Is there a size or weight limit to the cracker before one priest is not sufficient to charge it?
- Is there a proximity limit for the priest to utter his incantations over the crackers?
- How can a person tell if their cracker is a Pedo-Cracker or a normal cracker with no magical powers?
- Does the attractiveness of the altar boy increase the priest's magical power? For example, did the priest who blessed the cracker Lance Armstrong took to the moon have sex with a very pretty boy? Like a child actor maybe? Do eunuchs count?
- If a priest has sex with a woman, how much power is depleted from his incantation? How much is absorbed by her sin box?
- Can a negro priest bless crack for the inner city Catholics and will that count?
- Is it okay for a white person to eat a cracker that a negro priest uttered his incantation over?
- Would God ever allow an ex-Jew to become a priest?
- If a Jew becomes a priest, will the flesh of Jesus become killed again the moment the Jew blesses the cracker?
Thank you for your help. I appreciate it.
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Great of you to raise these important questions, Sister Mary. I've wondered what happens if a parish sees it will run out of crackers? Can the remaining ones be broken into two and still be the flesh of Jesus? Or, does Jesus' flesh drain out when the cracker is broken?
Then, what about people with celiac disease? Wheat is poison to the celiac. Some go to the emergency room with just a little wheat flour. The Catholic Church rules require wheat flour. Does the Catholic Church just kill of those with celiac disease by requiring the wheat cracker? I hope some Catholics can fill us in on these issues.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Question for Catholics -
02-27-2023, 04:32 PM
I also have a question. Sometimes a protestant clergyman will become a priest, for example distressed Episcopalians. In that case there'll be a vicar's wife and I know she's allowed to stay married so the former Anglican vicar who's now a Romish priest becomes a married priest.
What domestic arrangements apply in such cases?
Thank you.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Question for Catholics -
02-27-2023, 07:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
I also have a question. Sometimes a protestant clergyman will become a priest, for example distressed Episcopalians. In that case there'll be a vicar's wife and I know she's allowed to stay married so the former Anglican vicar who's now a Romish priest becomes a married priest.
What domestic arrangements apply in such cases?
Thank you.
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I think I can answer this one: altar boys are not required to do any extracurricular activities in these cases.
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Jesuit Insurgency Operative
Forum Member
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Posts: 606
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: The evil city of Rome in the evil country of Italy, who was once Holy
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Re: Question for Catholics -
02-28-2023, 07:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
- Is there a size or weight limit to the cracker before one priest is not sufficient to charge it?
- Is there a proximity limit for the priest to utter his incantations over the crackers?
- How can a person tell if their cracker is a Pedo-Cracker or a normal cracker with no magical powers?
- Does the attractiveness of the altar boy increase the priest's magical power? For example, did the priest who blessed the cracker Lance Armstrong took to the moon have sex with a very pretty boy? Like a child actor maybe? Do eunuchs count?
- If a priest has sex with a woman, how much power is depleted from his incantation? How much is absorbed by her sin box?
- Can a negro priest bless crack for the inner city Catholics and will that count?
- Is it okay for a white person to eat a cracker that a negro priest uttered his incantation over?
- Would God ever allow an ex-Jew to become a priest?
- If a Jew becomes a priest, will the flesh of Jesus become killed again the moment the Jew blesses the cracker?
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I will answer all of this with a single reply: with the power of God and the Catholic Church, anything is possible.
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True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
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Posts: 4,895
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
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Re: Question for Catholics -
02-28-2023, 04:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati
I will answer all of this with a single reply: with the power of God and the Catholic Church, anything is possible.
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Oh, dear Heaven help us all! Please, Mr. Rovagnati; I beg of you. It is high time that you came to your senses and accepted the truth about the Cathyolick "church" and its leadership!
(Mrs.) Isabella White
Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
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Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Not hacked by Mossad
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Re: Question for Catholics -
03-01-2023, 03:34 AM
My God, there it is, black and white. Right under our noses this whole time. The Vatican must've thought they were mighty clever. I'd like to hear the Pedopope explain Matthew 23:9. Is that verse just bullsh*t? And if that verse is bullsh*t, then how many other verses are bullsh*t? Is the whole Bible bullsh*t Mr. Francis? Answer the questions! Directly and without equivocation, you Argentine agnostic. This is what comes from non-sola scriptura theology - eternal scalding and ass rape from the demons in Hell.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Question for Catholics -
03-01-2023, 03:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes
My God, there it is, black and white. Right under our noses this whole time. The Vatican must've thought they were mighty clever. I'd like to hear the Pedopope explain Matthew 23:9. Is that verse just bullsh*t? And if that verse is bullsh*t, then how many other verses are bullsh*t? Is the whole Bible bullsh*t Mr. Francis? Answer the questions! Directly and without equivocation, you Argentine agnostic. This is what comes from non-sola scriptura theology - eternal scalding and ass rape from the demons in Hell.
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Does that put Father Mo in direct violation of Matthew 23:9?
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: You don't get a location
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Re: Question for Catholics -
04-06-2023, 12:50 AM
to catholics: Are you crazy True Christians™ who are drunk on the Holy Spirit, or are you normal people who don't hate the LGBT?
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Question for Catholics -
04-06-2023, 01:56 AM
The current expression is 2SLGBTQIA+ among blasphemers who deny Christ.
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