THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only. |
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
12-28-2010, 05:52 AM
I got exactly what I wanted: another KJV Bible for my collection. They're starting to pile up, now, but I'd rather have them than a bunch of books with silly stories and nonsense that I don't understand.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 395
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: On a Divine Quest in Dunghole Denmarkistan
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
12-28-2010, 11:30 AM
My father was so proud that I was made a True Christian™ this year and therefore he gave me some tools to help me supervise the nigra servants on our farm.
I was so happy when I got these. Correcting nigras the way our Lord intendend it:
Proverbs 29:19
A servant will not be corrected by words: for though he understand he will not answer
can be really hard work. I am sure these wonderful tools will prevent sore muscles and knuckles in the future. I am especially glad for the stun gun since some of the young nigras are bold enough to fight back when I correct them.
Praise Jesus! I really hit the jackpot this year!
To the atheists:
To the false christians:
Feel like pissing off God? Perhaps this will change your mind:
Hosea 13:16 Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
12-28-2010, 03:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna
Faux leather, Brother Saltine.
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So no actual dead cows were involved. So why did you bring dead cows into the conversation, then? I understand that you're probably a disgusting pervert who enjoys nothing more than rubbing your ladyparts with a strip of jerky while trying to suckle a calf at your vile, barren teats in a sick mockery of Mary breastfeeding Our Lord, but this is a Christian forum and I really don't think such subjects are suitable for discussion here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna
Oh, and to go to the Lincoln Gay Pride festival. Not as fun as the californian ones, but it has some hometown value for me. And the children's area was great this year. My old middle school art teacher was watching over it, and there were these really great bead necklaces for prizes on the games. I was kind of jealous of the eight year olds there.
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THEY'RE TURNING EIGHT-YEAR-OLDS QUEER? WHAT? Did they have special eight-year-old bath houses and restroom stalls, or did the kids just have to join in with the adults?
I didn't get that much for Christmas, but I think it is better to give than to receive. In my case, I sent individualised cards to my Jew mother, father, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents and cousins with a beautiful picture of the Sweet Baby Jesus on the front and text simply reading "WHY DID YOU KILL ME? " inside. I think they got the message.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Unsaved trash, nigra witch lesbian
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Posts: 262
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Paris
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
12-28-2010, 10:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
So no actual dead cows were involved. So why did you bring dead cows into the conversation, then? I understand that you're probably a disgusting pervert who enjoys nothing more than rubbing your ladyparts with a strip of jerky while trying to suckle a calf at your vile, barren teats in a sick mockery of Mary breastfeeding Our Lord, but this is a Christian forum and I really don't think such subjects are suitable for discussion here.
THEY'RE TURNING EIGHT-YEAR-OLDS QUEER? WHAT? Did they have special eight-year-old bath houses and restroom stalls, or did the kids just have to join in with the adults?
I didn't get that much for Christmas, but I think it is better to give than to receive. In my case, I sent individualised cards to my Jew mother, father, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandparents and cousins with a beautiful picture of the Sweet Baby Jesus on the front and text simply reading "WHY DID YOU KILL ME? " inside. I think they got the message.
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As much as I'm sure you love thinking about women masturbating with jerky, that's not how it works. I don't want to have sex with a cow any more that it does with me.
As for Pride, well, there are a lot of gay couples with adopted children in Lincoln. It was better for them to have a game area stocked with water and fruit snacks to play at then it was to have them running about and messing up the "Miss Gay Lincoln" pageant and passing out from the heat. It was 102 degrees farenheit when we left.
If you want to post here, you will abide by the rules. Admin
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 331
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Falling Waters
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
12-28-2010, 11:43 PM
I got this for Christmas ... Also a new bible!
“By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – 1 John 5:2-3
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As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,883
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
12-29-2010, 12:39 AM
@ Adilene What a nice ring!
I Jesus!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 331
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Falling Waters
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
12-29-2010, 01:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Felicity
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Thanks! I wonder what I am going to do when I have more kids, one more ring? lol
“By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – 1 John 5:2-3
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
12-29-2010, 01:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adilene
Thanks! I wonder what I am going to do when I have more kids, one more ring? lol
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My wife has a pair of suspenders and she embroiders the names of each child on it. The ones that dies, she paints over with a magic marker. Very handy for me as I can tell the names of the littlest ones by looking at the newest name in the list.
Rings will work up to a point. You will probably end up wearing them all on a chain hanging from your neck. By the time you are fifty, it will get pretty heavy. I hope you have the back for it.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-01-2011, 12:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna
As much as I'm sure you love thinking about women masturbating with jerky, that's not how it works. I don't want to have sex with a cow any more that it does with me.
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So you and your girlfriend are losing your lustful cravings for one another. Perhaps you're finally getting over your Lesbian phase!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adilene
I got this for Christmas ... Also a new bible!
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"Abagial"?
At least the jeweler got "Michael" right.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash, nigra witch lesbian
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Posts: 262
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Paris
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-02-2011, 08:59 PM
How dare you call my wife a cow! She's better than any woman you're ever going to get, and women love gay guys!
If you want to post here, you will abide by the rules. Admin
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-02-2011, 09:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna
How dare you call my wife a cow! She's better than any woman you're ever going to get, and women love gay guys!
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If you have a wife, then you are the husband, and that's a man. so are you a man or just lying about being married?
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Unsaved trash, nigra witch lesbian
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Posts: 262
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Paris
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-02-2011, 09:09 PM
I'm a lesbian, stupid. Have you actually read any of my posts, or do you just have some canned responses that you spout at random?
If you want to post here, you will abide by the rules. Admin
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#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
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Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-02-2011, 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna
I'm a lesbian, stupid. Have you actually read any of my posts, or do you just have some canned responses that you spout at random?
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That's funny, i searched for the definition of husband.
A husband is a male participant in a marriage
So just who is stupid.
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-02-2011, 09:41 PM
I'm not really a fan of material gifts as such, but the best present I have ever received was the direction given to me by Jesus, to this forum.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-02-2011, 11:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna
How dare you call my wife a cow! She's better than any woman you're ever going to get, and women love gay guys!
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On behalf of Landover Baptist Church forums, I would like to formally apologise to the noble bovine race for any offence or injury caused by the comparison between those innocent creatures and the abominable dyke slut you're fornicating with.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Unsaved trash, nigra witch lesbian
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Posts: 262
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Paris
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-03-2011, 02:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
That's funny, i searched for the definition of husband.
A husband is a male participant in a marriage
So just who is stupid.
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You. I never said I was a husband. I just said that she was a wife.
Ry'Kelle= My wife.
Jenna (me)= Ry'kelle's wife.
We are wives to each other. There are two wives in my marriage. 1 girl+ 1 girl= 2 girls. Two female participants. No husbands. No penises. Just two girls.
If you want to post here, you will abide by the rules. Admin
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-03-2011, 02:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna
How dare you call my wife a cow!
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If the moo fits, wear it!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-03-2011, 05:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
If the moo fits, wear it!
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That was a good one, Rev. Rodimer.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Suspected Furry Unsaved trash
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Posts: 27
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Bisenti, Samnite territory
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-03-2011, 09:28 PM
I got a drum set.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? -
01-03-2011, 10:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna
You. I never said I was a husband. I just said that she was a wife.
Ry'Kelle= My wife.
Jenna (me)= Ry'kelle's wife.
We are wives to each other. There are two wives in my marriage. 1 girl+ 1 girl= 2 girls. Two female participants. No husbands. No penises. Just two girls.
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You're making this up. A woman marrying a woman is absurd enough, but a woman marrying Cthulu's house?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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