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Default What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 04:47 PM

I had a wonderful CHRISTmas. I made a turkey with all the trimmings and Pastor Zeke came over early with his presents and we had a toast to JESUS' Birthday with some very old wine. Then we opened presents.

Anyway, he got me a new male nigra servant (since he fired the last one for stealing pies cooling on my windowsill) and a beautiful gift basket with some bubble bath and stuff.

THANK YOU ZEKE and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 04:58 PM

I got a first edition




Also, was it scented bubble bath? My dad makes me take scented bubble baths when he's feeling down because how excited I become makes him happier!

Merry CHRISTmas, Janine Walker
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 05:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
I had a wonderful CHRISTmas. I made a turkey with all the trimmings and Pastor Zeke came over early with his presents and we had a toast to JESUS' Birthday with some very old wine. Then we opened presents.

Anyway, he got me a new male nigra servant since he fired the last one for sniffing my bike seat and a beautiful gift basket with some bubble bath and stuff.

THANK YOU ZEKE and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!
Oh lawd Miz Daisy, dat be the best present from da Pasta, yet!
Is he a house Nigro or a field hand?
If he don't work out, Cleevon got a cousin from Haiti dat need the work and he is jist about over his cholera and it shouldn't be catchin no mo


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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 06:38 PM

We had a typically modest holiday. In keeping with a humble home, each child got a single present. The girls each got pie pans, the boys of driving age got new cars, the young ones got new dirt bikes. Mrs. Hutchins got a new buckt for pig slopping. I had to get my own present. I got an second hand Ford, a beater really, a fixer upper.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 07:32 PM

I don't celebrate christmas. The solstice was wonderful, though, and my heart still celebrates. Not so much gift giving though. My mother gave me a Bible, a nice one bound in artificial dead cow skin, because sweet as she is, she still hasn't given up on my soul. We drank an excellent homemade wassail, care of my friend Frieda, that was gingery and delightful. And the Yule log burned bright. All in all, a lovely holiday season it is.


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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 09:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna View Post
My mother gave me a Bible, a nice one bound in artificial dead cow skin, because sweet as she is, she still hasn't given up on my soul.
That's funny, because my son LOST a similar Bible recently.
Some thief thought they would play a sick joke and replace his holy book with some filthy magazines featuring scantily clad men. This is not the first time my son has been victim of such attacks, there was a similar incident with disgusting DVD's being planted in his school bag without him even knowing.

I'm not suggesting anything, but I know your type steal more property than you have hot dinners.


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"But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 09:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna View Post
I don't celebrate christmas. The solstice was wonderful, though, and my heart still celebrates. Not so much gift giving though. My mother gave me a Bible, a nice one bound in artificial dead cow skin, because sweet as she is, she still hasn't given up on my soul.
What does an artificial cow look like?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 09:48 PM

My congregation all chipped in and got me a really nice card. It plays "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" when you open it!

Yeah . . . great card . . . it's really nice to see how much people really love you and what a profound impact you make in their lives.

More importantly, I got the birth of our Savior, who accepted temporary punishment for my pre-Christian sins two thousand years before I was born, so I won't have to receive infinite punishment for them after I'm dead. GLORY!

At least Jesus loves me.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 10:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
What does an artificial cow look like?
Faux leather, Brother Saltine.


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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 10:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WinnerNotSinner View Post
That's funny, because my son LOST a similar Bible recently.
Some thief thought they would play a sick joke and replace his holy book with some filthy magazines featuring scantily clad men. This is not the first time my son has been victim of such attacks, there was a similar incident with disgusting DVD's being planted in his school bag without him even knowing.

I'm not suggesting anything, but I know your type steal more property than you have hot dinners.
And you, do you think I would fly across the pacific ocean and half of the united states just to steal your bible? That would be a tad ridiculous, don't you think? I only ever go to three places in the U.S. anyway. San Francisco, Berkley, and Lincoln, Nebraska. To visit my mother.


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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 11:23 PM

I did not get anything,, but Jesus loves me
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-27-2010, 11:52 PM

I got a DVD player and a leather jacket and super skinny Jeans!


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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-28-2010, 01:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna View Post
And you, do you think I would fly across the pacific ocean and half of the united states just to steal your bible? That would be a tad ridiculous, don't you think? I only ever go to three places in the U.S. anyway. San Francisco, Berkley, and Lincoln, Nebraska. To visit my mother.
Oh, and to go to the Lincoln Gay Pride festival. Not as fun as the californian ones, but it has some hometown value for me. And the children's area was great this year. My old middle school art teacher was watching over it, and there were these really great bead necklaces for prizes on the games. I was kind of jealous of the eight year olds there.


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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-28-2010, 01:10 AM

I got a double heart necklace and earrings from my children, a vanilla scented candle, flowered nightlight figure, MP3 player and from my Husband a Verizon 5-spot wireless broadband modem. Merry Christmas indeed


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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-28-2010, 02:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
I did not get anything,, but Jesus loves me
Brother, did you forget about the present I gave you? I know it didn't cost me anything, but I thought it was a great present nevertheless.

I got this lovely ring from my employer, Brother James. Isn't it lovely?
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"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-28-2010, 02:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennabenna View Post
I don't celebrate christmas. The solstice was wonderful, though, and my heart still celebrates. Not so much gift giving though. My mother gave me a Bible, a nice one bound in artificial dead cow skin, because sweet as she is, she still hasn't given up on my soul. We drank an excellent homemade wassail, care of my friend Frieda, that was gingery and delightful. And the Yule log burned bright. All in all, a lovely holiday season it is.
You're Wiccan? Same here. My parents and I spent the day riding horses together.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BunnyBabe21 View Post
I got a DVD player and a leather jacket and super skinny Jeans!
Oh my gosh, I love skinny jeans!
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-28-2010, 03:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Brother, did you forget about the present I gave you? I know it didn't cost me anything, but I thought it was a great present nevertheless.

I got this lovely ring from my employer, Brother James. Isn't it lovely?
I could swear James said he was going to give you a pearl necklace.

Looks like the jeweler talked him out of it!


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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-28-2010, 04:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Brother, did you forget about the present I gave you? I know it didn't cost me anything, but I thought it was a great present nevertheless.

I got this lovely ring from my employer, Brother James. Isn't it lovely?
No Sister I did not forget, that was a gift from your Heart, and I will always cherish it. If the other knew of the gift, well lets just keep it between you and I.
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-28-2010, 05:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
We had a typically modest holiday. In keeping with a humble home, each child got a single present. The girls each got pie pans, the boys of driving age got new cars, the young ones got new dirt bikes. Mrs. Hutchins got a new buckt for pig slopping. I had to get my own present. I got an second hand Ford, a beater really, a fixer upper.
I'm almost envious of you and your new Ford. In the coming year you are going to have hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours of fun getting it ready to drive down the block.

The gifts you got for your children shows you take great pride in picking out the perfect, individualized present. I know they are going to enjoy them.


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II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
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Default Re: What Did You Get for CHRISTmas? - 12-28-2010, 05:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
What does an artificial cow look like?
Some things you really don't want to know. I recommend closing your eyes while you look at this. It just shows how depraved the jennabenna coven really is.



YiJC, BS

II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
 

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