[Alvin Moss]

It is quite clear that the hypotheticians of the Democrat Party who currently run the country will not be dissuaded from their plan to make friends with the Arabs instead of killing them. The chief obstacle to the massacre seems to be that it would cause large amounts of litter, which would contribute to the "more serious issue of global warming", as well as the possibility that some of the Muslims would be killed. I do not think we can bridge this gap. In a little over a year, sanity will be returned to the godless Federal Government (at least, to the degree that sanity in that wretched organization is even possible), but what do we do until then? The only plan the Commander in Chief has now seems to be to disarm the rest of us and not to say anything that will make the Muslims angry.

Until January of 2017, we have to do something so that enough of us will be here to continue Christianity and Western Civilization, in spite of the Democrats. The B-52's loom large in both of my plans, the before and the after. Before we get Godly Republicans in charge of everything, let us bomb the Muslims with lard. We should continue to use as many real bombs as the Democrats will allow, but we should start a major campaign to cover all of Araby with hog oil. Modern technology will allow the higher altitude detonation of lard bombs in such a way that the biodegradable oil can be dispersed in a non lethal fashion. This will cause hyper chaos in all of Araby and they may even surrender and ask for foreign aid. On the home front. I believe the use of bacon strips, which are more visible and thus a better deterrent, will be more effective in thwarting terrorist attacks*. We will have to keep the Negroes and Mexicans from stealing the bacon, but that can be accomplished. As an additional benefit, many Negroes are Muslims and there could be fewer burglaries as a result of the bacon festoons.

I believe this is an approach that will produce results and can be considered a genuine compromise. The second part of my plan is that, in as much as the B-52's will be in proximity already, let us kill the Muslims every one as soon as responsible leadership emerges. I believe that Jesus would approve.



*in Texas, where we are all armed, there is little danger of terrorist attacks. however, many areas are under the control of Democrats and the bacon is about the best they can do.

[Roland]

Hello Alvin,

Your idea has most likely a high chance of success but I see a problem. A problem of existential proportions. If bacon is used for strategic purposes this will put a huge strain on the civilian bacon supply. Perhaps we are shooting ourselves in our own foot here: As we risk not having enough bacon left to sustain ourselves. This bothers me a bit, any suggestions on how to overcome this problem?

Kind regards, Roland

[Alvin Moss]

Originally Posted by Roland

Hello Alvin,

Your idea has most likely a high chance of success but I see a problem. A problem of existential proportions. If bacon is used for strategic purposes this will put a huge strain on the civilian bacon supply. Perhaps we are shooting ourselves in our own foot here: As we risk not having enough bacon left to sustain ourselves. This bothers me a bit, any suggestions on how to overcome this problem?

Kind regards, Roland

I believe that a temporary bacon shortage is a small price to pay for safety.

[Elmer G. White]

Brother Alvin,

As a man of the Real God©, it must be very difficult for you to realize the extremes of logical twisting and cognitive dissociation papist Muslims employ when they try to avoid being confronted with Jesus. The commandment that prohibits them from eating pork is one of these cases. It derives from their collection of Papist Writings called the Qur'an.

Qur'an 2:173
He has forbidden you only the dead animal, the blood, the pork, and animal slaughtered for other than Allah. One who is in a state of distress, neither revolting, nor transgressing, there is no sin for him. Surely, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Letting aside the false nature of this book for the argument's sake, let us examine how the Catholic-Muslim community interprets this text.

You are forbidden to eat pork UNLESS you are in a state of distress, and if you are and you do not enjoy the act, you are free to take your ham and swallow. A possible state of distress is the unavailability of other foodstuffs. I am afraid the papist Muslims could interprete your mode of attack in this manner and just start chewing the crisp bacon. The same with wine. They are allowed to drink it under distress.

This is very typical of a fluffy bunny religion. Everything can be overturned with interpretation. Nothing is solid and certain unlike in True Christianity™.

But this is not the worst aspect.

The worst thing is that this mocks and persecutes the whole concept of submitting to the will of Jesus! They break commandments but do not 'enjoy' it whereas we must FOLLOW the commanments we do not enjoy. An example:

Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Every time I cleave unto my wife I am in a state of distress. The act is messily repulsive and the sounds unpleasing. I am in a state of distress as these minutes could have been spent in Bible study. Do you hear me complaining? No, because unlike the Muslim papists, I am not looking for any loopholes. I'm doing my duty for my reward in Heaven.

Ecclesiastes 12:13
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.

This is how we can recognize True Religion™ from false ones. If the Muslims actually respected their own texts your plan would be a blazing success. Unfortunately, I have my doubts. Jesus will, however, eventually solve this problem.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by Alvin Moss

I believe that a temporary bacon shortage is a small price to pay for safety.

Those who would give up bacon for safety deserve neither.

[I Man Rastafari]

I myself do not eat of meat of any kind but I am not afraid of it. How is it that the muslims are repelled by pig meat? I have heard it called the other white meat. Is it the food of white people and so repellant to arabs? Many Black people eat pig especially the rib of the pig. Do they do that because they are trying to pass? I am afraid that my study of white people has not progressed to the point that I am in overstanding of this posting.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White

Brother Alvin,

As a man of the Real God©, it must be very difficult for you to realize the extremes of logical twisting and cognitive dissociation papist Muslims employ when they try to avoid being confronted with Jesus. The commandment that prohibits them from eating pork is one of these cases. It derives from their collection of Papist Writings called the Qur'an.

Qur'an 2:173
He has forbidden you only the dead animal, the blood, the pork, and animal slaughtered for other than Allah. One who is in a state of distress, neither revolting, nor transgressing, there is no sin for him. Surely, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Letting aside the false nature of this book for the argument's sake, let us examine how the Catholic-Muslim community interprets this text.

You are forbidden to eat pork UNLESS you are in a state of distress, and if you are and you do not enjoy the act, you are free to take your ham and swallow. A possible state of distress is the unavailability of other foodstuffs. I am afraid the papist Muslims could interprete your mode of attack in this manner and just start chewing the crisp bacon. The same with wine. They are allowed to drink it under distress.

This is very typical of a fluffy bunny religion. Everything can be overturned with interpretation. Nothing is solid and certain unlike in True Christianity™.
....

Thank you Brother Prof. White for your scholarly and erstwhile analysis, such thoroughness is exemplary and is rarely found outside the confines of Landover Baptist University on such matters. That not withstanding, the typical street mooselimb is as wholly unaware of such finer points in their so called "holy book" as the average unsaved trash that calls themselves "Christian". The average mooselimb doesn't read their koran much like the average Christian doesn't read the Bible (KJV1611).

This is clearly illustrated in the following prank video where some mooselimbs are "tricked" into thinking they have eaten real bacon.

WARNING: Do not try this at home as they are likely to become violent, and you need to be heavily armed in order to prevent having your head severed.

I believe that we can further implement Brother Moss' modest proposal as it is clear that bacon retains its terrorizing ability with the average mooselimb. In these trying times we should all attempt to save our bacon fat and forward it to our ammunition manufacturers for use as coatings on bullets and other worthwhile uses.

Such recycling efforts brought our great country together during WWII, and bacon can serve as a great uniting force to finally rid the world of this menace. After 1400 years it's about time that we finally put a stop to the mooselimbs.

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

Thank you Brother Prof. White for your scholarly and erstwhile analysis, such thoroughness is exemplary and is rarely found outside the confines of Landover Baptist University on such matters. That not withstanding, the typical street mooselimb is as wholly unaware of such finer points in their so called "holy book" as the average unsaved trash that calls themselves "Christian". The average mooselimb doesn't read their koran much like the average Christian doesn't read the Bible (KJV1611).

This is clearly illustrated in the following prank video where some mooselimbs are "tricked" into thinking they have eaten real bacon.

WARNING: Do not try this at home as they are likely to become violent, and you need to be heavily armed in order to prevent having your head severed.


I believe that we can further implement Brother Moss' modest proposal as it is clear that bacon retains its terrorizing ability with the average mooselimb. In these trying times we should all attempt to save our bacon fat and forward it to our ammunition manufacturers for use as coatings on bullets and other worthwhile uses.

Such recycling efforts brought our great country together during WWII, and bacon can serve as a great uniting force to finally rid the world of this menace. After 1400 years it's about time that we finally put a stop to the mooselimbs.

Brother Bryan,

You make a very valid point here. I am, in fact, constantly ashamed that I always fail to realize how ignorant the average "Christian" is of the Good Book. As a True Believer™, I'm trying to find the good in everyone and I falsely presume that people would actually have interest in their faith. Your observations explain very well why the false fluffy bunny "Christian" believes as he does. He does not rely on the Bible for education but trusts the "interpretations" and testimonies of false believers of liberal demoninations. For God's sake, he even dismisses this verse that tells him what he should be doing.

2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

Based on your post, we can presume that the average Muslim is as much of a false Muslim as the average "Christian" is a false Christian. This gives us excellent tools to fight the menaces of sin and sodomy among these uneducated populations.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer