Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-17-2011, 03:27 PM
Uses the word "fabulous"
Works for the Vatican and the papist "church"
Sings in the shower
Uses body wash instead of a manly bar of soap
Wears cologne (though we're still investigating if Axe Body Spray counts)
Wears deodorant
Has any sheets on his bed that aren't white, khaki, or camouflage cotton
Text messages (what is he saying that he doesn't want people to hear?)
Doesn't own a gun
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-17-2011, 04:29 PM
In my truck stop ministry, I've encountered many of these "secret" homosexuals, Sister Maria!
A few things I've learned to watch for:
Mentions that he drives a "big rig" (that's code for "is a 'top man' who has a large tallywhacker")
Wears ball cap backwards (so the brim doesn't get in the way of performing fellatio!)
Wears a ball cap frontwards (because he's a "top man")
Has a "chain drive" wallet (chain is used to bind the hands of innocent forced-sodomy victims)
Wears dirty jeans and t-shirts (covered with lubricant and other fluid stains, and grass stains from raping other men behind truck stop buildings)
Rides a Harley Davidson motorcycle in "full leather"
Calls Men of God "faggots" and tells them to "suck my d*ck" instead of praying to Jesus for Salvation
When a Man of God is on his knees praying to Jesus, says, "Hey, while you're down there . . ."
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 8
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-19-2011, 02:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cursed
Sister, is there an "whining exemption" for those accursed by THE LORD?
I don't want to be a homosexual! I'll slice my neck open with a Skilsaw if I am, that's too much.
Will I go straight to Heaven if I slice my neck open with a Skilsaw before the faggotry consumes me?
Please, let me know, I'm just sick worrying about it. Skilsaw?
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You silly bastard.. Skillsaws suck. You need a nice Porter*Cable Circular saw.. That'll get the bone just right...
Of course you may not get all the way through if you start from the back and go forward.. I know, I've tried. I just paralyzed myself from the eyebrows down.
This site is amazing.. I'm starting to understand why MSNBC exists. Here I was thinking being a Libitarian/conservative was a good thing, but apparently the people that the Left makes fun of DOES, in fact, exist.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: on my knees for Pastor Zeke
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-19-2011, 03:37 PM
More signs;
- Uses the word "darling" and "sweetie".
- Looks at men with desire.
- Doesn't have a girlfriend.
- Drives like a woman.
- Is a member of a book club.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-20-2011, 03:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miimii
More signs;
- Uses the word "darling" and "sweetie".
- Looks at men with desire.
- Doesn't have a girlfriend.
- Drives like a woman.
- Is a member of a book club.
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. . . especially the Oprah Book Club.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash, revolting queer
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Wherever the Lord takes me
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-20-2011, 04:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford
Is a liberal arts major in college
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Okay, hold on. I'm a music education major because I really believe that God speaks to me through music, so I want to help students realize that God speaks in other ways to people. So how does that make me gay?
Also, having red hair? Conan O'Brian isnt' gay...
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-20-2011, 04:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendofGod
Okay, hold on. I'm a music education major because I really believe that God speaks to me through music, so I want to help students realize that God speaks in other ways to people. So how does that make me gay?
Also, having red hair? Conan O'Brian isnt' gay...
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Sure. And neither is Carrot Top.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash, revolting queer
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Wherever the Lord takes me
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-22-2011, 11:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Sure. And neither is Carrot Top.
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He is?
My goodness, that explains a lot.
But still. I know a lot of redheads who are straight, so I fail to see how that makes any sense. As for the men wearing wedding rings, isn't it kind of ironic since that ring is proof that they're married to women? Some of these observations seem a bit iffy in my humble opinion, but then again, what do I know, I'm just a music major. :/
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-22-2011, 11:14 PM
- Has prostate, testicle or colon cancer. The only way you can get cancer is threw gay sex.
- Lives with his parents past age eighteen. Momma's boy.
- Never served in the military. All draft dodgers are gay (exception: when to collage to get his buisness career started)
- Owns a weed wacker (that's what Mexican gardener's are for)
- Likes to paint. Art homo with sketch books full of drawings of other men's bottoms. Enough said.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-23-2011, 12:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendofGod
As for the men wearing wedding rings, isn't it kind of ironic since that ring is proof that they're married to women?
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A real man doesn't have to prove anything.
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Unsaved trash, revolting queer
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Wherever the Lord takes me
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-24-2011, 06:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Mary Whitford
A real man doesn't have to prove anything.
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So should a man be able to just walk about having women (or men in my case) think that he's single when he's really not? I mean no disrespect, but that sounds rather dishonest.
Micah 6:8
He has shown thee, O man, what is good and what the Lord requires of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-24-2011, 07:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendofGod
So should a man be able to just walk about having women (or men in my case) think that he's single when he's really not? I mean no disrespect, but that sounds rather dishonest.
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Well, if you are a flaming sodomite than of course the most innocent of things would sound dishonest.
Men didn't start wearing wedding rings until well within the last century, by no coincidence when men in this society start getting feminized and homos*xualized!
It's irrelevant what other people think! Harlots shouldn't be throwing themselves at men anyway, married or not! A good, Godly, decent man would just rebuff any such advances anyway, and if he's married he would say so. A man's word should be his bond, he doesn't need any jewelry to do the talking for him.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-24-2011, 07:27 PM
More to add the the gaydar
- Multilateralist, real men do it alone and like God don't need partners.
- Can live with a mosque in their town. gay AND secret Muslim.
- Has to take a drug test. Gays abuse drugs, so if their boss suspects them of drug abuse, they are gay.
- Needs health insurance Gays get AIDs all the time.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Unsaved trash, revolting queer
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Wherever the Lord takes me
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-24-2011, 11:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Gays get AIDs all the time.
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You do realize that a higher percentage of the heterosexual population has HIV/AIDS than the homosexual population right? I mean, really. Gay men and women make up about 10% of the population of the United States, so odds are there are going to be a lot more straight people with said disease than gays.
Micah 6:8
He has shown thee, O man, what is good and what the Lord requires of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 9
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-25-2011, 12:12 AM
I have worked with gays for many years and have found these signs to be a sure thing in determining a homosexual
- carries a wallet
- wears a belt
-drives on the right side of the road
- uses words like "yes" and "ok" (so gay)
-believes in that america is the greatest country ever (cough economy cough)
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-25-2011, 12:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by incapableofthought
I have worked with gays for many years and have found these signs to be a sure thing in determining a homosexual
- carries a wallet
- wears a belt
-drives on the right side of the road
- uses words like "yes" and "ok" (so gay)
-believes in that america is the greatest country ever (cough economy cough)
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Mockery is definitely a sure sign of sodomite leanings.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-27-2011, 06:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendofGod
You do realize that a higher percentage of the heterosexual population has HIV/AIDS than the homosexual population right? I mean, really. Gay men and women make up about 10% of the population of the United States, so odds are there are going to be a lot more straight people with said disease than gays.
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Wrong, because God usually gives the AIDS to you queers.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,442
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-27-2011, 12:19 PM
Dear Friend,
Quote:
Originally Posted by FriendofGod
You do realize that a higher percentage of the heterosexual population has HIV/AIDS than the homosexual population right?
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Quote:
Gay men and women make up about 10% of the population of the United States, so odds are there are going to be a lot more straight people with said disease than gays.
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I'm a little worried you think these two assertions are the same thing, or that the second proved the first. Are you a girl, and hence, bad at numbers?
Because the fact, per the CDC, is that male-to-male sexual contact is still the primary means of HIV transmission. This despite homers being 10% of the population. The incidence of HIV/AIDS among man who have sex with men is way way higher than in the population as a whole. You can be 10% of the population and a much bigger percentage of the problem.
In any event, anyone who gets HIV/AIDS is by definition gay. Hence, 100% of the HIV/AIDS population is gay. And that's on to grow on!
Yours in Him,
BAB
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-27-2011, 12:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by incapableofthought
I have worked with gays for many years and have found these signs to be a sure thing in determining a homosexual
- carries a wallet
- wears a belt
-drives on the right side of the road
- uses words like "yes" and "ok" (so gay)
-believes in that america is the greatest country ever (cough economy cough)
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Beware! they drive on the left too, England is crawling with disgusting, hellbound sodomites driving around looking for truck stops and public toilets. I would tell them they are going to Hell to be sodomised by demons for eternity, but they would probably use that as a recruitment campaign
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 8
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Re: How to Recognize a Homosexual -
03-27-2011, 08:00 PM
Jesus wore sandals therefore he is a flaming hom0sexual
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