Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Promise Enforcers - Men Only!
Reload this Page Manly Jokes
Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#361)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-10-2013, 12:14 AM

Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is? Free ham.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#362)
Old
Donovan A. Mordecai's Avatar
Donovan A. Mordecai Donovan A. Mordecai is offline
True Christian™, Ex-Sand Nigra
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Persecuted

 
Posts: 762
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Dallas, TX God's Country
Donovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-10-2013, 06:17 AM

Why do Jews have big noses?

Air is free.


Psalm 137:8-9 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.



Reply With Quote
(#363)
Old
Alan Roberts Jr.'s Avatar
Alan Roberts Jr. Alan Roberts Jr. is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 24
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Richard Dawkin's Servants Quarters
Alan Roberts Jr. is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-21-2013, 11:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin View Post
Q: Who will introduce Landover Baptist Church to national broadcast TV?
A: John Walsh-he hosts America's Most Wanted.
Why don't you read the and , you worthless worshiping calflick?
Reply With Quote
(#364)
Old
Donovan A. Mordecai's Avatar
Donovan A. Mordecai Donovan A. Mordecai is offline
True Christian™, Ex-Sand Nigra
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Persecuted

 
Posts: 762
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Dallas, TX God's Country
Donovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-22-2013, 01:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan Roberts Jr. View Post
Why don't you read the and , you worthless worshiping calflick?

As much as we all hate the cathlics, that's not a very funny joke.

Try something like this:

For a catholic priest, what's the worst part about having sex with 8yr olds?


A) getting the blood out of their clown suits


Psalm 137:8-9 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.



Reply With Quote
(#365)
Old
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Mission to Korea Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-22-2013, 10:44 AM

Why do women bleed from their cooters?

Because they are inferior to men according to the KJV Bible, God's Holy Word.



(If I was a woman I would totally kill myself!)


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
(#366)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-24-2013, 09:14 AM

Hitler and Stalin are sitting at the bar. A patron walks up to the bar and asks the barman if that's Hitler and Stalin sitting over there. He says yes. The man goes over to Hitler and Stalin and asks what they are doing. "We're planning world war 3" says Stalin. "We're going to kill 14 million jews and 1 bike repair man" says Hitler "Why the bike repair man?" The patron asks. Hitler says to Stalin "See? I told you no one would ask about the jews."


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#367)
Old
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
Serving Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers Mission to Korea Trump of GOD True Republican Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hands Off True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Nuke of Heaven Crown of Glory Mower Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-25-2013, 02:47 AM

I have a friend who is tainted with Jew blood, though he is saved. Praise God!

He says he's just a little bit Jew. He just got the guilt and, of course, he doesn't pay retail.

Here is a manly joke, though it is a bit risque:

Man and wife, married for 30 years, sitting and having coffee on a beautiful morning.

She asks him if he would get married again if she died. He is shocked and says "Why do you have to bring something like that up?" and he won't talk about it at all. Later she asks again. Same response.

For days she brings it up and finally he "Yes, OK, if you die I'll get married again". Well, Ok, she says, would you sell the house? No, No, of course not, he says. Would you sell our bed? No, it's our bed, he says. Oh!, she said. Would she drive the car? I guess so, he says, sounding a little impatient. Well, would you let her use my golf clubs? No, no, of course not, he says........she's left handed.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
(#368)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-25-2013, 03:41 AM

Here is manly Joke

Obama has stolen the presidency TWICE and destroying the country.

What is the punch line; there is none.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#369)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-26-2013, 07:22 AM

Q: Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Witnesses?

A: Italians don't like any witnesses.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#370)
Old
Alphonse Alban's Avatar
Alphonse Alban Alphonse Alban is offline
Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator Flat Earth Tell her once Bronze Tither Christian Love Porn Resistant Iceland Honorary Ex-Eskimo Pro-Life Public Awareness Medal Punched the most queers Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Ex-Scandinavian TC Bravery Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Babysitter Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Crown of Life True Heterosexual™ Saved 5 Years Mower Alternative Facts Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alphonse Alban will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-31-2013, 05:59 AM

How do you call an arab with a goat and a camel?

-bisexual
Reply With Quote
(#371)
Old
Donovan A. Mordecai's Avatar
Donovan A. Mordecai Donovan A. Mordecai is offline
True Christian™, Ex-Sand Nigra
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Persecuted

 
Posts: 762
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Dallas, TX God's Country
Donovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDonovan A. Mordecai has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 08-31-2013, 02:15 PM

Whats the difference between a porcupine and a catholic church?

The porcupine has its pricks on the outside


Psalm 137:8-9 O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.



Reply With Quote
(#372)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort

 
Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-01-2013, 01:03 PM

What's the similarity between a priest and a pint of guiness?

If you get a bad one of either you end up with a sore ass.


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#373)
Old
Paragon of virtue's Avatar
Paragon of virtue Paragon of virtue is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 543
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the UAE.
Paragon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureParagon of virtue has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-05-2013, 06:18 AM

NAG NAG NAG

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution.
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to
be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed
off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright,
had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'



Reply With Quote
(#374)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-07-2013, 05:24 AM

There's a company in Texas getting harassed for making these decals for manly pick-up trucks. I'm going to send away for a few dozen to had out as Christmas gifts this year. The liberals and feminazis are trying to shut them down.



I think it's pretty funny.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#375)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-07-2013, 09:43 PM

My eyes must be failing me as I was unable to make out the ropes or cement blocks on her ankles.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#376)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-17-2013, 12:43 AM

I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"


Typical slopes


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#377)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-18-2013, 01:58 PM

A man on his Harley
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

.
.
.
God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#378)
Old
Joshua The Repentant Joshua The Repentant is offline
Unsaved trash, repenting kike
Forum Member
 
Posts: 30
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: on my knees for Jesus
Joshua The Repentant is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-18-2013, 10:04 PM

Q: Why do women have periods?

A: Because they deserve them.


Q: What is loud and obnoxious?

A: A woman.


John 16:33


"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."
Reply With Quote
(#379)
Old
godslefthand godslefthand is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Sep 2013
godslefthand is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.godslefthand is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-19-2013, 05:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Care to back that up with Scripture, boy?

And who asked for your unsaved opinion anyway?
Mathew 7: 1-3 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2*For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. I've read a lot of quotes where you judge people to be hellbound. I hope Jesus gives you the same judgment you have given so many. DO YOU THINK JESUS LIKES YOU PLAYING GOD? PREPARE TO RECIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE GIVEN. GOD BLESS TRUE FOLLOWERS OFF CHRIST NOT THESE "CHRISTIAN" HIPPOCRITS. THIS SITE IS NOTHING BUT RIGHT WING BULLSHITERS PUSHING THEIR OWN AGENDA. REST IN HELL
Reply With Quote
(#380)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Manly Jokes - 09-19-2013, 06:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by godslefthand View Post
Mathew 7: 1-3 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2*For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. I've read a lot of quotes where you judge people to be hellbound. I hope Jesus gives you the same judgment you have given so many. DO YOU THINK JESUS LIKES YOU PLAYING GOD? PREPARE TO RECIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE GIVEN. GOD BLESS TRUE FOLLOWERS OFF CHRIST NOT THESE "CHRISTIAN" HIPPOCRITS. THIS SITE IS NOTHING BUT RIGHT WING BULLSHITERS PUSHING THEIR OWN AGENDA. REST IN HELL
You need to take a close look at my sermon on the subject, HERE.

Jesus doesn't say that nobody should cast stones.
He says that he who is without sin may cast stones.

And friend, he who abides in Jesus Christ is made sinfree (as 1 John 3:5-9 says).
Thus, Jesus expects True Christians to cast stones. Glory!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
domestic violence, fun, jokes

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved