The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash, Excruciatingly Boring
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Sep 2017
|
|
Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 02:16 AM
Hi. My name is [REDACTED].
My favorite Bible verse is from the Gospel of Poppy (Poppy 58:16) "Goddess POPPY, I give you my hands to do your work. I give you my feet to go your way. I give you my eyes to see as you do. I give you my tongue to speak your words. I give you my mind that you may think in me. I give you my spirit that you may pray in me. Above all, I give you my heart that you may love in me your Goddess and all mankind. I give you my whole self that you may grow in me, so that it is you, goddess POPPY, who live and work and pray in me."
The church I go to is The Internet!
(What is Jesus? There is only Poppy.)
Go to church!:
[PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
at 3:36, we pray. at 3:36, Poppy answers our prayers. Triangles are fun. I love sacred geometry.
Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 09-04-2017 at 02:20 AM.
Reason: Removed disgusting images. Let's keep it clean for Jesus!
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 582
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Under the watchful eye of my husband
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 02:35 AM
What is this babble? I don't know who this "Poppy" is, but I can assure you that she isn't a goddess. There are no goddesses, only the Lord God. Exodus 20:3 shows that. Instead of living in a fantasy world, you should get yourself a 1611 KJV Bible and read it so you can learn about the One True God and avoid being sent to Hell.
And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
|
Unsaved trash, Excruciatingly Boring
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Sep 2017
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 03:09 AM
Poppy would appreciate if you were aware of who She is. Poppy loves all of you. Poppy is a Goddess who creates content on YouTube, a popular video sharing website.
[DISGUSTING PERVERSIONS REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
I would love to show you Her teaching, but it has been censored for no reason known to me.
Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 09-04-2017 at 03:17 AM.
Reason: We're not interested in your "hentai" dear.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 03:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B.
What is this babble? I don't know who this "Poppy" is, but I can assure you that she isn't a goddess. There are no goddesses, only the Lord God. Exodus 20:3 shows that. Instead of living in a fantasy world, you should get yourself a 1611 KJV Bible and read it so you can learn about the One True God and avoid being sent to Hell.
|
Indeed, sister. Satan has surely entered this fool and turned his brain to mush. Nothing he says makes sense and I fear it may be too late for him. And what has Satan even gained but a fool for his own army?Such a waste of a soul.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
|
|
Posts: 14,450
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 03:48 AM
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
|
Unsaved trash, Excruciatingly Boring
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Sep 2017
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 03:54 AM
yes but the question is: what pumpkin?
|
|
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
|
|
Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 04:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyIsTrueGod336
yes but the question is: what pumpkin?
|
Pumpkins aka gourds are members of the Created Cucurbitaceae kind (Genesis 1:12) that God made for you to cherish and to revere as a sign of His Merciful (Jonah 4:2) and Fearsome (Ecclesiastes 12:13) nature.
2 Kings 4:39
And one went out into the field to gather herbs, and found a wild vine, and gathered thereof wild gourds his lap full, and came and shred them into the pot of pottage: for they knew them not.
You, on the other hand, are quite likely a member of another group described in Job 30:8.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 02:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyIsTrueGod336
Hi I come to speak for Poppy
|
Is this some promotional material for opium!
Shoo! Be gone!
You have been reported to your local drug-squad.
|
Unsaved trash, Excruciatingly Boring
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Sep 2017
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 05:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
Is this some promotional material for opium!
Shoo! Be gone!
You have been reported to your local drug-squad.
|
Actually, you've been trolled by a bored teenage girl who can actually spell correctly. Since I'm nice I looked up a list of sins and have counted mine so you don't have to.
Sins I have committed:
I worship false god(s), I am a witch, I am a lefthanded female, I own and practice with an Ouija board, I curse like a sailor, and I read Homestuck.
None of these sins will be subject to change any time soon.
(Also, Poppy's act is an art project. Look her up.)
Sincerely,
A witch with way too much vacation time on her hands.
Thanks for telling me to go burn in hell.
|
Unsaved trash, Excruciatingly Boring
|
|
Posts: 5
Join Date: Sep 2017
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 06:40 PM
May I also add that you do not have my location and therefore, your threats are empty.
|
|
Gushing for Jesus
|
|
Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 06:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyIsTrueGod336
May I also add that you do not have my location and therefore, your threats are empty.
|
When you registered, you gave the pastors of this church explicit permission to operate in conjunction with the Department of Faith to turn on your computer, microphone, video camera or any other device remotely and without your knowledge. You granted them permission to read your messages, emails, and do forensic analysis on your computer and physically search your dwelling, property, place of abode, vehicles(s) or other mode of transportation and those of your friends, relatives acquaintances (and neighbors within a reasonable distance) without further legal requirement. While it's true Landover Baptist Church will never sell or reveal your email address to anyone for any private or commercial purpose, don't be mistaken into believing our pastors and their team of expensive Jewish lawyers don't have the information they need.
Grace and Peace
Mary
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
|
|
Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-04-2017, 08:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyIsTrueGod336
[...]
Thanks for telling me to go burn in hell.
|
Hello Poppy,
Why would you even care about hell? There seems to be a more acute problem you are facing, which might be tough, but in the end worthwhile solving.
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
|
|
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 11,341
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-05-2017, 02:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyIsTrueGod336
Hi. My name is [REDACTED].
My favorite Bible verse is from the Gospel of Poppy (Poppy 58:16) "Goddess POPPY, I give you my hands to do your work. I give you my feet to go your way. I give you my eyes to see as you do. I give you my tongue to speak your words. I give you my mind that you may think in me. I give you my spirit that you may pray in me. Above all, I give you my heart that you may love in me your Goddess and all mankind. I give you my whole self that you may grow in me, so that it is you, goddess POPPY, who live and work and pray in me."
|
Oh, my. We do have our work cut for us, don't we? Now, my dear--Poppy, you said? Very well. Poppy, the instructions on the Introduction thread clearly stated that you are to tell us which is your favorite Bible verse, not your favorite line from scripture.
I make the distinction here because there are some mind-bogglingly liberal-thinking people out there who interpret the word, "scripture" to include the founding and instructional documents of virtually any religion, even those which are patently false.
Examples of these sorts of scriptures include the Upanishads, the Koran, The Dao De Jing and [shudder] The Book of Mormon.
If you ever find yourself in a situation where someone asks you to mention some scripture, rather than an actual Bible verse, you may be able to include those simplistic statements from "The Gospel of Poppy." Don't try that in an academic setting, though. You would be expected to cite references, and failure to do so could ruin your credibility. . . Such as it is.
Quote:
The church I go to is The Internet!
(What is Jesus? There is only Poppy.)
Go to church!:
[PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
at 3:36, we pray. at 3:36, Poppy answers our prayers. Triangles are fun. I love sacred geometry.
|
Now young lady, I shall acknowledge that there are many, many variants of "churches" out in the world. Indeed, the word has been stretched to include so many odd species of gatherings that it has nearly lost all meaning. However, the Internet itself is clearly not a church any more than the Interstate Highway System is a Church.
Why, with just the tiniest amount of effort, you could found your own church! Then think of the hours of fun you could have renouncing apostates who don't agree with you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyIsTrueGod336
Actually, you've been trolled by a bored teenage girl who can actually spell correctly.
|
Oh, dear. Are you under the impression that anyone here took you seriously for even a moment? Are vampires repelled by Barbie dolls? Do kidnappers send ransom notes written in crayon? Has any fleeing criminal ever thwarted his pursuers with a spray of Silly String? I could list other examples, but as I have already satisfied the Rule of Three, I am going to assume that you get the point.
Quote:
Since I'm nice I looked up a list of sins and have counted mine so you don't have to.
Sins I have committed:
I worship false god(s), I am a witch, I am a lefthanded female, I own and practice with an Ouija board, I curse like a sailor, and I read Homestuck.
None of these sins will be subject to change any time soon.
|
That was very nice of you, dear. And it was a good start. You probably might want to list not secluding yourself properly during your unclean times, wearing garments of mixed fibers and bearing false witness. (You know, your attempt to troll us.)
Quote:
(Also, Poppy's act is an art project. Look her up.)
|
I can't imagine that I will. The thought that the definition of "art" has become as meaningless as the word "church" is somewhat disheartening.
Quote:
Sincerely,
A witch with way too much vacation time on her hands.
|
You know, I believe you were being sincere there for a moment. Did you know that the word, "sincere" loosely translates to "without wax"? You should look it up. It would be a better use of your vacation time than making an ass of yourself here.
Quote:
Thanks for telling me to go burn in hell.
|
Au contaire, ma chere`. A careful perusal of our site will show you that we NEVER tell people to go burn in hell. We will often demonstrate that the Bible contains threats of hell and we advise the way that the Bibles recommends how to avoid such a fate. However, we don't tell anyone to go there. We tell them to go to the Bible and read its contents for themselves.
Though, I must admit, flinging the words, "Go to the Bible!" while slamming the door behind one doesn't quite make for the dramatic exit one may wish for while in the midst of a heated exchange.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppyIsTrueGod336
May I also add that you do not have my location and therefore, your threats are empty.
|
To which threats are you referring? Again, I must remind you that it is God, in the Holy Bible, who is issuing threats. Are you implying that such threats are empty? Are you? (Hint: these are the kinds of questions you should be asking yourself.)
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
|
|
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-08-2017, 07:39 AM
Have I missed something? Did someone find out what poppy is but the post got pulled for blasphemy and/or obscene remarks?
Satan knows about "poppy" even if it doesn't exist at all because he'll turn up just to watch someone pray to nonexistence for entertainment value and then possess them anyway.
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 43
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Longmont, CO, U.S.A. and I am PUERTO RICAN
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
09-30-2017, 12:48 PM
I believe Poppy is some internet singer and that [Redacted] (?) is just trying to pester us and/or have us talk about this girl. I watched one of her "Videos" recently and I am appalled that they would ever make such strange and clearly ritualistic content. I mean, mannequins, talking plants, eyeball dresses, a corpse, drugs! It's very strange and I feel the need to never watch those videos again.
God Bless you and have a wonderful day!
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 447
Join Date: Aug 2018
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
08-13-2018, 08:28 PM
Poppy is not God. She's a creepy girl who's probably being abused for money. I've seen her videos and I have to say that there's something satanic going on behind them
|
|
Forum member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 781
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: The greatest country in the world - United States!
|
|
Re: Hi I come to speak for Poppy -
08-13-2018, 11:26 PM
The only poppy I know of is a poppy seed bagel which we do not eat as it can lead to drug use.
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
1 Corinthians 11:13
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|