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Question chickens wiv foul feets - 09-28-2006, 02:33 AM

i were readin my bibles that me ---> when i founds a verse that confuse me it kinda disturbin

All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you. <--- that be leviticus 11:20

where do the four-footeds chickens an turkeys live? maybee all poultree gots them abomininashun feets when they borned, an then they peckity-peck-peck-peck 2 legs off, cuz the bible say that when they got 4 foots they be only creepin alongs. but when they got 2 foots they able to struts thier cluckity-cluck stuff an run real fast cuz a chicken hart is a evil hart

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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-28-2006, 02:49 AM

Leviticus is referring to bats, Petal.


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Smile Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-28-2006, 03:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Leviticus is referring to bats, Petal.
Mr.Pastor Pistle, i so happys to hear that bats be poultree, that they be the other white meats an you gonna lurve my fried batwings an batsticks at the next church lunchs
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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-28-2006, 03:47 AM

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Originally Posted by Petal View Post
Mr.Pastor Pistle, i so happys to hear that bats be poultree, that they be the other white meats an you gonna lurve my fried batwings an batsticks at the next church lunchs
Bats ARE fowls according to the Bible. But we can't eat them. Thay are an abomination unto GOD. So are animals which chew the cud like rabbits. But not like cattle. And we can eat fish, but not catfish, because it doesn't have scales.

These are no-nos.

Leviticus
  1. And the hare, because he cheweth the cud.-11:6
  2. And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls ... the bat-11;13,19
  3. All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you. -11:20
  4. Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon all four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth.... But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you.-11:21-23


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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-28-2006, 09:44 AM

Pastor, I purchased a Chicken-Licken family feast bucket which contains 5 Chicken legs.

Should I immediately throw it away?
Or should I give it to my Negra Housemaid for her family?
She's down for Damnation anyway.



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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-28-2006, 05:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal View Post
All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.
Miss Petal, although The Holy Bible is, of course, infallible, perhaps the spelling "skills" of the translators were not.

With slightly Altared spelling, I have seen this very thing for myself: A Foul Creep, drunken at a crack party and "going upon all four" searching for his Sex Chat Line calling card instead of listening to the Scripture I was trying to instill in him

Truly, it was an Abomination unto The Christ.

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Angry Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-29-2006, 03:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Mr.Pastor Pistle, i be suspectin your post ain't nothin but a long-winded ways of sayin you not wants to try my cookin! nows, i not mean to cause no offenses, but when you menfolk gets to thinkin about foods you all real kwick to quotes leviticus when there bootiful roast bat on the menu, but you even kwicker to quote acts an them romans when someone whup up a batch of kitty cupcakes!

I was in the city of Joppa praying: and in a trance I saw a vision, A certain vessel descend, as it had been a great sheet, let down from heaven by four corners; and it came even to me:
Upon the which when I had fastened mine eyes, I considered, and saw fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air.
And I heard a voice saying unto me, Arise, Peter; slay and eat.
But I said, Not so, Lord: for nothing common or unclean hath at any time entered into my mouth.
But the voice answered me again from heaven, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.
And this was done three times: and all were drawn up again into heaven
<--- that be kitty-killin Acts 10:5-10

I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean <--- that be Mr.pickin an choosin Pawl, romans 14:14

so it up to you weather my bat-on-a-spits is uncleans or clean enuff to eats!


Quote:
Originally Posted by bootiful Miss.Talitha View Post
I purchased a Chicken-Licken family feast bucket which contains 5 Chicken legs.

Should I immediately throw it away?
Or should I give it to my Negra Housemaid for her family?
She's down for Damnation anyway.
Miss.Talitha, i thinks that a real bad idea cuz nigras already got like a hunnerd millon x-tra leg mussels, an if your housemaid eat that mutant chicken she gonna mutates to an give births to a army of Flo-Jo-Chicken Folk , they already be feathereds but you ain't gonna be able to tar them cuz they run faster than anythang, they run faster than Mr.Pistle's winds after he eat a green kitty curry, it true

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss.Sweet Sue Vera View Post
With slightly Altared spelling, I have seen this very thing for myself: A Foul Creep, drunken at a crack party and "going upon all four" searching for his Sex Chat Line calling card instead of listening to the Scripture I was trying to instill in him
Miss.Sue Vera, i not no you tryin to converts Mr.Pappy Mo after he been partakin of them communion whines an i be prayin that lord God give you lots an lots of strengths
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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-29-2006, 04:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal View Post
Mr.Pastor Pistle, i be suspectin your post ain't nothin but a long-winded ways of sayin you not wants to try my cookin! nows, i not mean to cause no offenses, but when you menfolk gets to thinkin about foods you all real kwick to quotes leviticus when there bootiful roast bat on the menu, but you even kwicker to quote acts an them romans when someone whup up a batch of kitty cupcakes!
Me! Long-winded! Ahahahahaha.... Anyway, it's just that cats are so OBVIOUSLY food items and bats are obviously demons of the night. Please feel free to bring your roast bat whatnot around on HELLYween and we can try to get Pastor Zeke to sample it by telling him it's slugs you shriveled up with salt.


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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-30-2006, 05:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Me! Long-winded! Ahahahahaha.... Anyway, it's just that cats are so OBVIOUSLY food items and bats are obviously demons of the night. Please feel free to bring your roast bat whatnot around on HELLYween and we can try to get Pastor Zeke to sample it by telling him it's slugs you shriveled up with salt.
No need for any subtrafusion.

Quote:
Fruit Bat Soup

3 Fruit bats, well washed but either skinned nor eviscerated,
Water
1 tb Finely sliced fresh ginger,
1 lg Onion, quartered,

The following is a genuine recipe from Micronesia. Fruit bats, or flying foxes, are furry, fruit and nectar eating bats about the size of small rabbits. The make very affectionate pets.

Sea salt to taste, Chopped scallions, Soy sauce and/or coconut cream.

1. Place the bats in a large kettle and add water to cover, the ginger, onion, and salt. Bring to the boil and cook for 40 minutes. Strain broth into a second kettle.

2. Take the bats, skin them and discard the skin. Remove meat from the bones and return meat, and any of the viscera you fancy, to the broth. Heat.

3. Serve liberally sprinkled with scallions and further seasoned with soy sauce and/or coconut cream.

Yield: 4 servings.

(From "The New York Times Natural Foods Cookbook" by Jean Hewitt © 1971,

Quadrangle Books, Inc. NY.
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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-30-2006, 06:28 AM

Not only Micronesia, but Guam. I spent a year in those places and I never saw one. They had eaten almost into extinction.


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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-30-2006, 07:01 PM

I wouldn't feel comfortable eating any kind of fruity bat. You just don't know where they've been.


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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-30-2006, 10:10 PM

I will eat anything in accordance with the Bible provided it is mashed into a fine paste. I also like when the cook is within earshot to hear my complaints.
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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-30-2006, 10:13 PM

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Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
I will eat anything in accordance with the Bible provided it is mashed into a fine paste. I also like when the cook is within earshot to hear my complaints.
Then you'd like Bug Butter. Just have the housekeeper swat 500-700 flies and mash them up. You can dip chips in it or spread it on raisin bread. They call it 'grey marmalade'.


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Default Re: chickens wiv foul feets - 09-30-2006, 10:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Then you'd like Bug Butter. Just have the housekeeper swat 500-700 flies and mash them up. You can dip chips in it or spread it on raisin bread. They call it 'grey marmalade'.
Me you Lady Marmalade, Pastor!



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