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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Please Pray for Pastor Ezekiel Flint: The Man Who Saved My Immortal Soul -
06-07-2012, 09:21 PM
I recognize that Pastor Ezekiel Flint is probably the man who needs prayer the least among the created of God. Yet, he deserves it the most. If it was not for this True Christian™ Warrior, I would be doing life in prison, or worse yet, out on parole, running with the same perverse cultists that had once brainwashed me into their doctrine of ritual sex and drug abuse.
I have committed almost every sin there is. I've committed sorceries and sodomies and everything in between. Finally, the liberal Big Government took God's law into its own hands and locked me up, supposedly for good this time. At first, I didn't care, because I hated freedom. Like a damned terrorist Mohammedan, I just wanted to give my life to Satan in exchange for occult powers like telepathy and mind control. I wanted to bend others to my will, so I could force them to bow before the loins of the Dark One.
In prison I was raped. Everyday I was raped by huge Negro bucks. They called me "bitch" and slathered jizz all over my face like a French advertisement. I cried out to God, "is this what Hell is like???"
Then I received my first visitor. In between sadistic strokes to my anus, I managed to limp my way over to visitation to see who it was.
There before me was a being of light, dressed in a white on white suit, like an angel of the Lord. His blonde hair and blue eyes sent rays of healing to my tattered rectum, sealing it up like the post-deluvian firmament, never to be opened again, except for natural evacuations and the Holy Ghost.
"Are you done screwing with the Lord?" He asked me.
Pastor Ezekiel gave me a leather bound King James Bible (which I later paid for with interest) and told me to read it. And I did. While huge sweaty black bears raped my ass, I was reading the KJV and getting salvation.
Once I was through reading, I said a prayer and suddenly, the rape stopped. I was outprocessed, and a taxi was waiting for me outside, to take me to Freehold, Iowa! Hallelujia! I have been a True Christian™ ever since.
That's how easy it is. If I can do it, anybody can do it. You believe; you repent.
Anybody who refuses the gift of forgiveness is obviously just in love with ass rape.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Please Pray for Pastor Ezekiel Flint: The Man Who Saved My Immortal Soul -
06-07-2012, 09:30 PM
Your words bring tears of joy to me, brother.
Surely Pastor Zeke is a Prince among men! If he could one day touch me the way he has touched you I would be blessed almost beyond belief!
Glory
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Please Pray for Pastor Ezekiel Flint: The Man Who Saved My Immortal Soul -
06-07-2012, 10:55 PM
Heart touching stuff, brother Billy Bob.
It's hard to admit it, but Pastor Flint is probably the only person I know whom Christ loves more than even me!
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Please Pray for Pastor Ezekiel Flint: The Man Who Saved My Immortal Soul -
06-07-2012, 10:57 PM
GLORY! What a moving story of Christian love Brother Jenkins. One just has to read our life stories to see that when one is full of it with Christ's love anything is possible!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: Please Pray for Pastor Ezekiel Flint: The Man Who Saved My Immortal Soul -
06-07-2012, 10:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Anybody who refuses the gift of forgiveness is obviously just in love with ass rape.
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Praise Jesus friend. Who better to bring you to the warmth of Salavation than LBC's own Pastor Ezekiel?
Tell me friend, did you pass Pastor Ezekiel's exam for the 6 month intensive program; did you see the premises?
Glory; there were chains, handcuffs on chairs, blood splattered KJV Bibles and open electrical cords to welcome the unsaved. I welcome you friend.
Just remember, I am here to help you also; but Pastor Ezekiel's 6 month program is all his. No notes reqesting food, help or blankets will be passed directly to the Pastor.
God speed Brother.
YIC
Deaner
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Please Pray for Pastor Ezekiel Flint: The Man Who Saved My Immortal Soul -
06-08-2012, 12:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Tell me friend, did you pass Pastor Ezekiel's exam for the 6 month intensive program; did you see the premises?
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Amen, I did. When you are mentored by the best, Jesus takes special care of you. That's why I am so happy. Because Jesus thinks I'm special.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: Please Pray for Pastor Ezekiel Flint: The Man Who Saved My Immortal Soul -
06-08-2012, 07:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaner
Praise Jesus friend. Who better to bring you to the warmth of Salavation than LBC's own Pastor Ezekiel?
Tell me friend, did you pass Pastor Ezekiel's exam for the 6 month intensive program; did you see the premises?
Glory; there were chains, handcuffs on chairs, blood splattered KJV Bibles and open electrical cords to welcome the unsaved. I welcome you friend.
Just remember, I am here to help you also; but Pastor Ezekiel's 6 month program is all his. No notes reqesting food, help or blankets will be passed directly to the Pastor.
God speed Brother.
YIC
Deaner
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He gave me the tour on one of my visits.
I always wondered just what the calving glove was for.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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