Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
02-01-2016, 10:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheismTheBest
Well, you thought and talked about masturbation.
You're gonna burn in hell :^)
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Scripture, or it did not happen.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,440
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
02-02-2016, 12:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheismTheBest
Well, you thought and talked about masturbation. You're gonna burn in hell :^)
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I think about sinning all the time. I think about how poor losers like you are masturbating like rabbits all over your sticky keyboard. Inhaling the smell of your sinful seed with every breath.
This is the severe suffering I have to endure to earn my entry to Heaven. By thinking about your sins I am figuring out ways to get you to STOP sinning and get you to go to Heaven instead of burning in Hell for all eternity.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
02-02-2016, 01:28 AM
The very last thing I'd ever do is touch a male organ just as I'd never let a man ever touch my organ.
I can only imagine how strange it would be to a male hand grasp it firmly, squeezing it with authority and perhaps pulling on it with the desire to provide an animal like reaction. The very idea that another male with whom I'd have no control over forcibly caused my member to grow fully erect with his turgid stimulation is completely appalling to me. To have him continue to stroke me until ejaculation is something I'll never, ever think about.
The Homersexialistiac Agenda is foreign to me, like Greek boys in a bath. Something I simply cannot fathom.
God has His grip on my soul and in Him, I'll arrive at the Rapture, throbbing in joyous pleasure at His penetration .
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 73
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Close To Christ.
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
02-07-2016, 06:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
Wanna know why?
Because when you masturbate, its a MANS hand jacking you off. It doesnt matter that the hand belongs to you, its still a mans hand. Fact is you're getting off at the feeling of a mans callus covered hand touching your dink.
Its gay to masturbate.
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Very insightful post Mr.Templeton. I would also like to point out that masturbating doesn't only make you a homosexual. It also makes you a lust filled, adultering, murderer.
I will back up my claims with Holy scripture.
Exodus 20:13 "Thou shalt not kill." Millions of sperm babies are killed every single time you "yank your chain"
Exodus 20:14 "Thou shalt not commit adultery." ANY sexual act aside from sex with your wife for the sole purpose of procreation is adultery!
Most of the time when people defile themselves they lust after another person. Lets see what the Holy Bible has to say about lust shall we!
James 1:15 "Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
Matthew 5:28 "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath commited adultery with her already in his heart"
After I get married, and have as many children as physically possible (Genesis 1:28) I plan on having my penis removed so as to avoid temptation. Matthew 18:9 "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hellfire"
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 11
Join Date: Apr 2016
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-13-2016, 03:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
Wanna know why?
Because when you masturbate, its a MANS hand jacking you off. It doesnt matter that the hand belongs to you, its still a mans hand. Fact is you're getting off at the feeling of a mans callus covered hand touching your dink.
Its gay to masturbate.
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Interesting never thought of it that way! Makes perfect sense!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 19
Join Date: Mar 2016
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-13-2016, 06:53 PM
Thank you for saying this my fellow brothers in christ now i can teach my perverted younger brother why he should stop committing such horrendous acts.
Also what will i do to save his hellbound soul form burning in dammnation is read him this verse i found in the bible on why masturbation makes you a homer.
1 Corinthians 7:3-5 "The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control".
God bless all of all you except you homers you must repent for your lack of self control .
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Unsaved trash, Potty-mouthed Zit-Infested Teen
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: limbo
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-15-2016, 09:40 AM
no no no! i can assure you that i have been mastrubating since i was 13 and i love women and NOT men maybe you people while mastrubating get off to the people of your own sex but i don't, the people i know even they don't. so fap awaaaaaaay.
Ps: I am too damn sure about my sexuality and i don't want a stranger on the internet to tell me about it.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-15-2016, 04:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retrovir
Ps: I am too damn sure about my sexuality
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Nonsense. The Holy Bible tells us our minds deceive us (Jeremiah 17:9), and that we ought to trust nothing but the Holy Word of God (Proverbs 3:5). Being an unregenerated soul whose mind is particularly deceived by the lies of Satan, you may think you're heterosexual, but I assure you no True Heterosexual™ man would let his member be in close proximity of a male hand! Why, arousal at a man's touch is an undeniable confirmation for homosexuality!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-15-2016, 04:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retrovir
no no no! i can assure you that i have been mastrubating since i was 13 and i love women and NOT men maybe you people while mastrubating get off to the people of your own sex but i don't, the people i know even they don't. so fap awaaaaaaay.
Ps: I am too damn sure about my sexuality and i don't want a stranger on the internet to tell me about it.
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If u like woman then why do you let a man masturbate your honkey?
You know the problem is even a tiny bit of homosexuality can make you aids. Honestly seeing your picture you already look like you have it.
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Unsaved trash, Potty-mouthed Zit-Infested Teen
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: limbo
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-16-2016, 08:29 AM
i can assure you that i am 1000% hetro! in fact i love to make love to my girlfriend and we regularly have sex especially in the 69 position! moreover i am not even attracted to men not even the slightest bit.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-16-2016, 01:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retrovir
i can assure you that i am 1000% hetro! in fact i love to make love to my girlfriend and we regularly have sex especially in the 69 position! moreover i am not even attracted to men not even the slightest bit.
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Considering the emotional maturity of your posts, I imagine the only numeric position you are familiar with is 6, with 1 of those digits operating the mouse as you frantically click on porn while glancing over your shoulder to make sure mommy isn't peeking in.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Unsaved trash, Potty-mouthed Zit-Infested Teen
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: limbo
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-16-2016, 04:54 PM
oh my <<<a reference to a false god removed>>> how did you know? Damn son thou art flippin' smart. here <<<a rude remark removed>>> just for you _|_. Now go out, get off your computer and do something useful or <<<a reference to a false god removed>>> is gonna <<<a rude remark removed>>>.
Last edited by Basilissa; 04-16-2016 at 10:15 PM.
Reason: Cleaning up for Jesus
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,158
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-16-2016, 10:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retrovir
oh my <<<a reference to a false god removed>>> how did you know? Damn son thou art flippin' smart. here <<<a rude remark removed>>> just for you <<<a rude remark removed>>>. Now go out, get off your computer and do something useful or <<<a reference to a false god removed>>> is gonna <<<a rude remark removed>>>.
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Hi sweetie, I've thought of a couple of Bible verses which relate directly to you and to your insults against Brother Des:
2 Kings 2:23-24
23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
You know now what God does to bad children that mock bald wise men. Beware of she bears!!
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Unsaved trash, Potty-mouthed Zit-Infested Teen
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: limbo
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-17-2016, 01:18 AM
please be a little original. stop plagiarizing the bible all the time!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-17-2016, 02:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retrovir
please be a little original. stop plagiarizing the bible all the time!
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Mercy, but the Portageese education system must be atrocious! It is only plagarism if the person claims it as original material. Sister Basilissa, like all of us here, readily attributes the scripture quoted to the author, God.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Unsaved trash, Potty-mouthed Zit-Infested Teen
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Posts: 59
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: limbo
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-17-2016, 02:46 AM
which god?
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,207
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
04-17-2016, 04:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retrovir
which god?
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Who are you asking?
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 2
Join Date: May 2016
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
05-07-2016, 01:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
Wanna know why?
Because when you masturbate, its a MANS hand jacking you off. It doesnt matter that the hand belongs to you, its still a mans hand. Fact is you're getting off at the feeling of a mans callus covered hand touching your dink.
Its gay to masturbate.
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Oh, i didn't need to jack off some more to know i was gay! I've been jacking off since i was like seven And i know i'm gay already so why would i need my dick to tell me so?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
05-07-2016, 10:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travis Royall
Oh, i didn't need to jack off some more to know i was gay! I've been jacking off since i was like seven And i know i'm gay already so why would i need my dick to tell me so?
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What happened in your childhood at such a tender age to make you decide to spit in baby Jesus' face and choose to be gay? You can't make the ridiculous homer claim that you were born that way, because children of that age have no sexual urges and no actual notion of sex or sexual attraction. So by your own admission, it was a choice to abandon the ways of God and man.
Come, tell us what happened. This is a safe place with loving, compassionate Christians ready to help you back onto the path of righteousness.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: If you masturbate it means you're gay... -
05-08-2016, 01:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
What happened in your childhood at such a tender age to make you decide to spit in baby Jesus' face and choose to be gay? You can't make the ridiculous homer claim that you were born that way, because children of that age have no sexual urges and no actual notion of sex or sexual attraction.
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Indeed, my Brother in Christ. Even as one that Jesus chose to take back after decades of elective homo-rectal intercourse, I know that it IS a choice.
Many times since I came to Christ and let Him inside me, I have faced this weak argument. That "people are born gay" Nonsense.
I have been to a few nurseries, before, during and after I was a queer. Never have I seen infants mount each other. A newborn male with an erection sodomizing his crib mate? A newborn female struggling to get in position to taste the fish? It just does not happen.
The gayness is a choice.
In Him
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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