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Toilet Biter
Forum Member
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Posts: 275
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: The great land of the USA!
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Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-26-2017, 12:19 AM
I have thought about compiling a list of some pranks suitable for young Christian boys and girls that will keep them close to their faith.
We can start off by dropping off some bacon at a local mosque or a simple Ding Dong Ditch with a leftover KJV bible on their doorsteps as he/she runs away. What are some pranks that True Christians find favorable?
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-26-2017, 02:32 AM
If you hold a mock kidnapping like Glad Tidings Assembly of God in Middletown, Pennsylvania did, just make sure your lawyers are ready. Most parents today coddle their children so any unpleasantries become the fault of the person who dared refuse to treat little Jr like a special snowflake.
Quote:
Lanza said there were about 17 students at the meeting and the mock kidnappers covered the students' heads, put them in a van and interrogated them. Neither the students nor their parents were told about the raid beforehand, he said, though it was discussed with the parents of one youth who might have health issues.
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Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-26-2017, 04:36 AM
Our God is the God of Truth™ (Titus 1:2) and we should follow that example unless it is necessary to send the sinners a delusion to make them realize their evil ways (2 Thessalonians 2:11). Due to this, these "pranks" could bring quite a few people onto the sweet Bosom of Baby Jesus.
I suggest a nationwide Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:17) prank to alert the sinners to the hazards of idolatry, Catholicism, sodomistic pleasures, and emancipation of the weaker sex.
1 Corinthians 15:52
In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.
This could, hence, change the sinners.
All we need is that the True Christian™ population (inadequate per se in numbers) and our Republican friends (adequate) leave lots of piles of clothes together with dry ice on the Nation's pavements, Malls, sin hotspots (discotheques, sodomistic bars, etc.).
A few stewardesses announcing missing pilots will also add to the mayhem. No actual plane crashes are needed as we can have some True Christian™ pilots in disguise among the passengers, and they can recite the script of coming suddenly to the realization of Jesus being the Lord and that the Wrath of God has begun before they land the planes safely.
Many people will convert immediately. The rest will hear our Pastors preach that this was just a warning and then Repent as they realize that it is only a matter of days before the Real Deal is about to occur. The Trumpets will soon announce their dazzling message (Revelation 8:2). What better way to combine a hearty, innocent joke with a chance to gain many Souls for Christ?!
Revelation 8:13
And I beheld, and heard an angel flying through the midst of heaven, saying with a loud voice, Woe, woe, woe, to the inhabiters of the earth by reason of the other voices of the trumpet of the three angels, which are yet to sound!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Unsaved trash, brain on ice
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Posts: 105
Join Date: Apr 2017
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-27-2017, 05:54 PM
Ephesians 5:4
4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
Proverbs 26:18-19
Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death
is the man who deceives his neighbor
and says, “I am only joking!”
Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-27-2017, 05:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by refutator
Ephesians 5:4
4 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.
Proverbs 26:18-19
Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death
is the man who deceives his neighbor
and says, “I am only joking!”
Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
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You're totally taking this out of context. I'll bet you're lots of fun at parties, too.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-27-2017, 09:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
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This seems like a dangerous thing to do. Could you imagine what would happen if those teachers were to be confronted with the second amendment or even basic human rights? I am sure it would have turned sour on them immediately.
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-27-2017, 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland
This seems like a dangerous thing to do. Could you imagine what would happen if those teachers were to be confronted with the second amendment or even basic human rights? I am sure it would have turned sour on them immediately.
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If it is God's Plan, there's not much we can do about it anyway. Is there anything that happens without the LORD's Sovereign approval?
(hint: no, cf. Lamentations 3:37)
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-27-2017, 09:59 PM
A prank I play often on children (it never gets old) is to tell them because they sinned, grandma is dead. I'll go into a half hour lecture how their sins can be retribution by God on those close to them as a punishment, like making retards.
Romans 12:19
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Deuteronomy 32:35
To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.
Galatians 6:7-8
7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
You should see the look on their faces when the find out grandma is still alive. A real hoot and a half.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-28-2017, 12:08 AM
Rapture pranks are always pretty funny.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 518
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Tacoma, Washington
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-28-2017, 12:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan
Rapture pranks are always pretty funny.
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That look on her face at 3:05! Priceless!
Acts 13:8 And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 11
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Manchester
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
06-29-2017, 01:47 PM
Act like you love Hillary Clinton for a prank. This will work great.
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Unsaved Trash, drunk papist scum
Under Investigation
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Posts: 10
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: bowing down to statuary
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-07-2017, 04:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HitlerLover101
Act like you love Hillary Clinton for a prank. This will work great.
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Do it in the right place, and you might just get to meet Jesus early
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-09-2017, 12:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FatherDougal
Do it in the right place, and you might just get to meet Jesus early
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I agree. Hillary is not dumb. A cynical remark that could expose her shenanigans might just get you arkancided. Be careful should you choose to travel that path.
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 8
Join Date: Jul 2017
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-11-2017, 10:29 AM
These pranks seem viable for you guys:
- Leave a paper bag with a burning Quran at someone's house
- Bake a cake over human feces, and serve to someone
- Fill water balloons with wine and yell out "Jesus Saves"
- Unplug someone's game console and yell out "Jesus Saves"
- Make someone a bible cake, baking paper into it
- Dump a bucket of ice and wine on yourself, and upload it as a "Ice Bucket Challenge" video
- Slip a KJV Bible into someone's luggage
- Slip a cross into someone's shirt while traveling, and laugh as they get raped by the TSA
- Throw Chick Tracts around
- Set someone's d4 on fire
- Give out copies of the "Wrath Of God" Magic: The Gathering card and tell people to fear God or else
- Do the same, but dressed as Serra Angel
- Scare someone dressed as an angel
- Egg a non-believer's house and call the HOA on the person
- Call the HOA on a suspected satanist
- Call the cops on a confirmed satanist
This space reserved for scripture -- admin
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-11-2017, 04:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueProdigy
These pranks seem viable for you guys:
- Leave a paper bag with a burning Quran at someone's house
- Bake a cake over human feces, and serve to someone
- Fill water balloons with wine and yell out "Jesus Saves"
- Unplug someone's game console and yell out "Jesus Saves"
- Make someone a bible cake, baking paper into it
- Dump a bucket of ice and wine on yourself, and upload it as a "Ice Bucket Challenge" video
- Slip a KJV Bible into someone's luggage
- Slip a cross into someone's shirt while traveling, and laugh as they get raped by the TSA
- Throw Chick Tracts around
- Set someone's d4 on fire
- Give out copies of the "Wrath Of God" Magic: The Gathering card and tell people to fear God or else
- Do the same, but dressed as Serra Angel
- Scare someone dressed as an angel
- Egg a non-believer's house and call the HOA on the person
- Call the HOA on a suspected satanist
- Call the cops on a confirmed satanist
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Son, were you dropped on your head repeatedly, in a deliberate attempt to knock some sense in to you?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,124
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-12-2017, 02:06 PM
We have a good one at Freehold City Hall. Our sign shop made a big sign that says, FREE GAY MARRIAGE, FREEHOLD CITY HALL.
When homer couples show up they get an earful about their sin. When they leave we all have a good laugh.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-12-2017, 04:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
We have a good one at Freehold City Hall. Our sign shop made a big sign that says, FREE GAY MARRIAGE, FREEHOLD CITY HALL.
When homer couples show up they get an earful about their sin. When they leave we all have a good laugh.
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Before they leave, they should be required to buy this book. I also think this poster should be up. Food for thought.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-12-2017, 08:00 PM
A good Christian “Prank” (and I use the word advisedly) should have a moral and Godly message for the witnesses.
I used to make a habit of appearing in public places – Walmart, Main Street, outside about half an hour before a football or baseball game started, etc – and then giving a large cry, feigning a heart attack and collapsing in a convincing manner.
A crowd would soon gather. I resisted all attempts to “bring me back” by remaining completely flaccid and not issuing a sound. Eventually, some employee or police officer, etc. would have the common sense to call an ambulance.
It was only when the ambulance personnel arrived and were about to administer Oxygen, etc, that I would smarty stand upright and fully erect, give a sweeping motion with my arms and address the crowd with
“AND YET AS CHRIST, WHO WAS KILLED ON THE CROSS AS A SACRIFICE FOR THE SINS OF MAN DID RISE AGAIN, SO I RISE AGAIN AND YOU TOO ARE ABLE TO RISE AGAIN DESPITE THE WEAKNESS OF YOUR SOULS AND THE WEAKNESS OF THE FLESH! AGAINST ALL THAT SATAN MAY THROW AT YOU, YOU MAY RISE AGAIN!
YOUR FAITH, THE FAITH OF YOUR FATHERS AND THEIR FATHERS BEFORE THEM, GIVES ETERNAL LIFE TO THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN THE LORD JESUS AND THE ONE INDIVISIBLE TRINITY! DEATH IS DEFEATED! A SEAT AT GOD’S RIGHT HAND AWAITS THE RIGHTEOUS! MY FATHER’S HOUSE HAS MANY MANSIONS BUT THE PATH TO THE HOUSE IS STRAIGHT AND NARROW! THE SONS OF MAN ARE DEGENERATE AND LOATHSOME. THEY WALLOW IN INIQUITY AND ABOMINATION! AND YET THEY CAN BE SAVED! I BRING THE GIFT OF ETERNAL LIFE! I GIVE YOU GOD'S WORD …”
And at this point I would quote a verse of the Bible (KJV1611) and launch into a pre-prepared sermon.
I tell you, the look on the faces was worth it alone! I brought countless souls to the Lord (including the three people who actually did have a heart attack and died.)
I am Ezekiel Bathfire and I recommend this prank.
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,206
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-14-2017, 10:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
I used to make a habit of appearing in public places – Walmart, Main Street, outside about half an hour before a football or baseball game started, etc – and then giving a large cry, feigning a heart attack and collapsing in a convincing manner.
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A tremendous prank! I saw this once and was so fooled that I rushed in to administer life-saving treatment using my medical training in chiropractic. This was before my conversion so naturally I was using fake scientific techniques, not Biblical methods. I think the gentleman tried to stop me but it was too late and I saved the poor man. Years later, his caretakers still send me Christmas cards from the long-term care facility.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Some ideas for Christian pranks. -
07-14-2017, 06:33 PM
This atheist got a prank with a message just the other day!
I can't wait to hear his conversion story when the Good News of our Good God finally breaks through his soulless defenses and he repents and accepts Christ!
Thank you clever, witty Christian! Another soul is sure to be saved!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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