General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Obese Swedish Meatball Delusional Forum Member
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Posts: 2,208
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
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Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 01:51 AM
Hello Kim Jong-un,
I wish you a happy birthday and many more to come. Perhaps your people will consume most of your time by celebrating you, I will nevertheless take the effort to wish you a happy
Kind regards,
Roland
Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.
Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 03:55 AM
Dear Sinner,
When I saw a recipe for a low-calorie, flourless cake I immediately thought of you!
One piece should be more than enough, dear:
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 04:12 AM
I know how difficult it's been finding suitable furniture for your new hotel. I'm happy to donate this lovely example as a pattern, perhaps in a factory you could get some made or I could give you the designer's details if you'd like to get patent approval.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 04:26 AM
Happy Birthday, I hope you accept Christ before you die (which could be at any moment, you never know, so perhaps in between playing games, you could start reading the Holy Bible).
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 05:16 AM
Mr. Kim (and Mr. Roland)!
Your souls are in peril! You should be using all available time examining the KJV Bible and asking for True Christians™ to pray on your behalf, as Jesus is about to turn His Sweet Back irrevocably on you very soon (John 9:31).
Mr. Un, I do appreciate your interpretation of the following verse.
Luke 4:4
And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.
You've applied the first part of this commandment very well in your nation, but please, remember also that the Word of God should not be neglected. Please, look at this picture, where we can see Jesus negotiating with temptation. He won.
Will you win the privilege of being with Jesus for Eternity? Then you'd have many nice birthdays to celebrate in a stylish environment!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 08:24 AM
생일 축하해요
I have always been told that people from lesser countries appreciate it when you use their language. Since despite my admirable educationism I do not communicate in Koreaish, I would like to try using a combination called Korenglish.
Exalted Leader (in own eyes)
I rish you happy of birthday with fun involve. May all PS4 game bring victory of win. May all people find you leader and make feel good. Jesus coming. Send to hell you soon.
COME, LORD JESUS! (Rev. 22:12)
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
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Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 11:20 AM
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
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Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
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Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 11:26 AM
I am get some very nice memes for my birthday:
[MEMES UNRELATED TO JESUS' GLORY REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 01-08-2017 at 07:39 PM.
Reason: No thank you, dear
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,762
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 11:37 AM
Happy Birthday, Marshal Kim. Can you clear something up for us? You say that you were born on 8 January 1983 - and obviously you of all people should know! So why does your crazy auntie Ko Yong Suck say you were born in 1984?
Quote:
They can reveal, for example, that Kim Jong Un was born in 1984 — not 1982 or 1983, as has been widely thought. The reason they’re certain? It was the same year that their first son was born. “He and my son were playmates from birth. I changed both of their diapers,” Ko said with a laugh.
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I see that she now works in a dry cleaning shop - maybe the chemicals have killed some brain cells? Or is this just part of her attempt to destablize your regime?
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
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Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 11:50 AM
[THESE IMAGES DO NOT GLORIFY THE KING OF KINGS; REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 01-08-2017 at 07:37 PM.
Reason: Wrong website, dear.
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Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
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Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 11:55 AM
[IMAGES UNRELATED TO THE TEMPORARY SACRIFICE OF JESUS REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 01-08-2017 at 07:35 PM.
Reason: This is a church forum, dear.
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Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
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Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 11:58 AM
["DANK MEMES" REMOVED BY MODERATOR]
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
Last edited by Mary Etheldreda; 01-08-2017 at 07:34 PM.
Reason: removed imgur dump
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 666
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 12:02 PM
No happy birthday from me.
All these rampant commie images took over 3 hours to download.
The sooner you are in hell the better.
Phil
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
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Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 07:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Ander
No happy birthday from me.
All these rampant commie images took over 3 hours to download.
The sooner you are in hell the better.
Phil
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Sorry.
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 09:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
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I've found it!!!!
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Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™
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Posts: 11,341
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-08-2017, 11:58 PM
I would wish you a happy birthday, but I see no point. When you die and go to hell, you will wish that you had never been born.
Wishing you a happy birthday seems mean.
Abstainingly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Guns For God and the Economy
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Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
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Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-09-2017, 08:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
Happy Birthday, Marshal Kim. Can you clear something up for us? You say that you were born on 8 January 1983 - and obviously you of all people should know! So why does your crazy auntie Ko Yong Suck say you were born in 1984?
I see that she now works in a dry cleaning shop - maybe the chemicals have killed some brain cells? Or is this just part of her attempt to destablize your regime?
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It is. She is probably try to say I am born in 1984, because of the book who will wrote by George Orwell. The book I can say is liberal propaganda and a foolish attempt to criticize socialist republics.
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
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Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
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Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-09-2017, 08:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
I would wish you a happy birthday, but I see no point. When you die and go to hell, you will wish that you had never been born.
Wishing you a happy birthday seems mean.
Abstainingly Yours,
Handmaiden
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What if a masochist was to go to hell? They are enjoy pain!!
"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1
I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-09-2017, 10:41 PM
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Happy birthday Kim Jong-un -
01-10-2017, 12:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un
What if a masochist was to go to hell? They are enjoy pain!!
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Hell is a terrible place. Nothing there is enjoyable.
Matthew 25:41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels:
If you imagine that devils will be tormenting sinners with much mirth, that is the opposite of what Jesus explained. Devils assigned to torture duties, if any, will not enjoy the experience. At the time they're running you through, or your masochist friend I should say, it will be the worst thing to do they could think of.
Satan will be cursed in the same way. "Here is a masochist for you to deal with," he might be told.
. .SATAN O wow
OVERSEER Not wow
. . . —. The word you're looking for is "Bummer"
. .SATAN y- y- y- you mean..
OVERSEER Yes - that's right
. . . —. I want you to make him happy
. .SATAN But He Doesn't Want To Be Happy!!
OVERSEER Then you've got a problem haven't you
Satan will be wanting to flense that sinner, has been working himself up into a volcano of self loathing, his implement is cherry red, and as the dénouement approaches, nearer, nearer,
OVERSEER er, No - not that one
. . . —. Mister.. Satahn is that? (aside) I was never any good with these foreign names
They didn't even know who he was. That is the sort of fate you will experience if you persist in denying Jesus. He only wants you to love Him back but otherwise, in your case, or rather in your friend's case, the most desired torment will be the one least readily available.
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