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Sarnov (On Moderation) Sarnov is offline
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Default The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 05:20 PM
Is the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Praise him!
May you be touched by his noodly appendage and convert into a Pastafarian and have a lot of fun in Heaven, with the beer volcanoes and the stripper factory! Hooray for our Creator, the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Praise!

RAmen!
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 05:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarnov View Post
Is the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Praise him!
May you be touched by his noodly appendage and convert into a Pastafarian and have a lot of fun in Heaven, with the beer volcanoes and the stripper factory! Hooray for our Creator, the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Praise!

RAmen!
Friend,

You flying spaghetti monster is nothing more than parody done to mock Christianity like the Harry Potter books. We TRUE Christians™ will have nothing to with parody or any such evil acts. Pastor Al has placed a special prayer covering over this Godly forum that protects it from the demons of parody, mockery along with the demons of secular logic and reason. Pastor Ezelkal was told in a vision by the late President Ronald Regan himself that Jesus has sent Warrior Angels stand over this forum’s servers guarding it from these evil spirits

Go tell your true master Satan that he has now power here.


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Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 08-27-2007 at 05:52 PM.
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 05:44 PM
You've just been fooled by the TRUE creator, The Flying Spaghetti Monster! But if you convert to his faith, he'll give you beer and strippers! Hooray!

So...do you want to follow an allpowerful, yet rather pasta-like creator, or a book written by goat-herding priests written 2000 years ago?

Hooray for the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Praise his Noodleness!

RAmen!
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarnov View Post
You've just been fooled by the TRUE creator, The Flying Spaghetti Monster! But if you convert to his faith, he'll give you beer and strippers! Hooray!

So...do you want to follow an allpowerful, yet rather pasta-like creator, or a book written by goat-herding priests written 2000 years ago?

Hooray for the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Praise his Noodleness!

RAmen!
So this monster fools people into disbelief yet wants the same to convert? Uh-huh, sure..

Seriously, you stupid atheists can't even come up with good jokes!

If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 08-27-2007 at 06:02 PM.
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 06:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
So this monster fools people into disbelief yet wants the same to convert? Uh-huh, sure..

Seriously, you stupid atheists can't even come up with good jokes!
Atleast MY alpowerful supreme being has a sense of humours...he likes tricking people into believing in fake gods, and then sends his followers to convert them! He wouldnt want his believers to spend their time on earth just doing nothing, so he gave us somthing fun to do! Hooray for him! Praise the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster!

RAmen!
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 06:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
So this monster fools people into disbelief yet wants the same to convert? Uh-huh, sure..
So, what is your god doing then? He lets me belief in my god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and then yet, he wants to convert me?

Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

RAmen!
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 06:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarnov View Post
So, what is your god doing then? He lets me belief in my god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and then yet, he wants to convert me?

Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

RAmen!
God allows you free will, but He doesn't want you to worship another, and He has warned you about so doing;
Ignore that warning and you'll get your well-deserved punishment in hell.
Praise God!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarnov View Post
Atleast MY alpowerful supreme being has a sense of humours...he likes tricking people into believing in fake gods, and then sends his followers to convert them! He wouldnt want his believers to spend their time on earth just doing nothing, so he gave us somthing fun to do! Hooray for him! Praise the almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster!

RAmen!
How long has this "god" had any followers? 1 year? 2?
That would mean that he has fooled 99.99999999999999% of humanity.
Doesn't sound like he wants anyone to convert at all.

Anyways, this is all silly theoretical speaking.. Let's speak clearly:
This spaghetti monster doesn't exist, you know it, I know it, and you're only here to crack a joke. (A quite boring one I might add)



So shape up and discuss something real!
Such as, for example; Jesus, His resurrection from the dead, and His love for His elect.. Or we'll shut you up.
Cause we have a serious mission here and can only indulge jokers like you for so long:
So the choice is yours. What will it be; Will you TURN (or atleast be serious) or BURN?

If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 08-27-2007 at 07:01 PM.
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 07:07 PM
God allows you free will, but He doesn't want you to worship another, and He has warned you about so doing;
Ignore that warning and you'll get your well-deserved punishment in hell.
Praise God!

My God says something different....He says ill get beer volcanoes!


How long has this "god" had any followers? 1 year? 2?
That would mean that he has fooled 99.99999999999999% of humanity.
Doesn't sound like he wants anyone to convert at all.

He's clever..And Noodly...and he has a lot of time to wait...

Anyways, this is all silly theoretical speaking.. Let's speak clearly:
This spaghetti monster doesn't exist, you know it, I know it, and you're only here to crack a joke. (A quite boring one I might add)

He does exist! How else do you explain 'The gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster'?

So shape up and discuss something real!
Such as, for example; Jesus, His resurrection from the dead, and His love for His elect.. Or we'll shut you up.

Can you prove that's real? It doesnt say so in 'The gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster'. And how are you going to shut me up? Bore me to death?

Cause we have a serious mission here and can only indulge jokers like you for so long:
So the choice is yours. What will it be; Will you TURN (or atleast be serious) or BURN?

What serious mission? Convert anyone to whatever equally strange religion belong? At least my god doesnt punish people for having some fun in their lives. That sound hardly serious.

I'll go for 'BURN'....burn in the warm and cuddly (yet noodly) love of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster

RAmen!
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 07:18 PM
I gave you a chance, fair and square. So be it.
You are now on Moderation, and nothing of what you post (from now on) will be visible until we approve it.
Use this as a chance to start behaving, and stop playing around;
Do that, and you'll be off Moderation in no time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarnov View Post
And how are you going to shut me up?
Like I just did.

If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 07:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarnov View Post
So...do you want to follow an allpowerful, yet rather pasta-like creator, or a book written by goat-herding priests written 2000 years ago?
First, those Joo priests were only used by God as human pens. Since it well known that Joos think of only getting up the skirts of Catholic school girls the fact that they wrote the Bible at all is clearly a miracle.


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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-27-2007, 08:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
First, those Joo priests were only used by God as human pens. Since it well known that Joos think of only getting up the skirts of Catholic school girls the fact that they wrote the Bible at all is clearly a miracle.
I suppose it's just more proof of GOD's awesome plan: those Jews knew that if they didn't write the Bible, then it'd be impossible for Christianity to exist, and if Christianity didn't exist, then the antichrist Pope would never have been able to fuse it with Dagonist paganism to create Mary-Worship, and Mary-Worship didn't exist then the Popish Priests would have no excuse for spending all day every day mo-"bless"-ting alterboys, and if the alterboys weren't turned into queers by the Priests then they might spend some time with the Catlick schoolgirls, and if the Catlick schoolgirls could find Catlick schoolboys their own age then they'd never settle for being groped by hook-nosed Christ-killers.

The Jews actually have a special song about all this, which they sing once a year at the start of Passover.

O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-28-2007, 04:59 AM
Sarnov, is Flying Spaghetti Monster brand new to you or something? It was funny for a while a couple of years ago, but it's kind of run its course by now. If you want something that stays funny, might I suggest SubGenius?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
So this monster fools people into disbelief yet wants the same to convert? Uh-huh, sure..
Hey, that reminds me of something I read in 2nd Thessalonians. Doesn't your God do the same thing in that story?

No wait, never mind. I remember now. He fools the people into disbelief because He wants to send them to Hell.

That's a different brand of humor altogether, there.

--Joe

Have you heard the Good News? There are no gods, there is no hell, and the only sin is being mean to other people.

There are no ghosts, pixies, hobgoblins, angels, leprechauns, gods, goddesses, demons, minotaurs, devils, witches, warlocks, dragons, or spirits.

Prayer, magic spells, and doing nothing accomplish exactly the same thing.
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-28-2007, 11:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Atheist View Post
Hey, that reminds me of something I read in 2nd Thessalonians. Doesn't your God do the same thing in that story?

No wait, never mind. I remember now. He fools the people into disbelief because He wants to send them to Hell.

That's a different brand of humor altogether, there.

--Joe
He only fools those who'm He wants send to hell into disbelief. Not anyone else.
He doesn't fool those who'm He wants to convert as that would be counterproductive..

Are you stupid in some way, or just desperate to find any likeness between God and this pasta monster?
You're not going to find any, sonny. Give it up.

If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-28-2007, 12:50 PM
I'm glad we have people with the meatballs to state the obvious on such a website is this. However, the dry and stubborn attitudes of the members is bound to stir controversy! FSM be with you!
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-28-2007, 02:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PreachingthePasta2u View Post
I'm glad we have people with the meatballs to state the obvious on such a website is this. However, the dry and stubborn attitudes of the members is bound to stir controversy! FSM be with you!
We know you're full of Bologna -- this is just a tired act. Give it up already, it wastes our server space

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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-29-2007, 12:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. View Post
We know you're full of Bologna -- this is just a tired act. Give it up already, it wastes our server space
Your server space had better be used in the most holy way possible-under the light of His gluten-based goodness. Save yourself! Strive for the eternity with endless beer and strippers!
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-29-2007, 12:54 AM
Quote:
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Your server space had better be used in the most holy way possible-under the light of His gluten-based goodness. Save yourself! Strive for the eternity with endless beer and strippers!
Hmmm, well the truly SAVED Landoverians say they are assured of the eternity with endless beer and barbeque with Jesus Himself!

Soooo waddaya yooooou think of those meatballs, hey?

1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...

1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-29-2007, 01:03 AM
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Originally Posted by minister noddy View Post
Hmmm, well the truly SAVED Landoverians say they are assured of the eternity with endless beer and barbeque with Jesus Himself!

Soooo waddaya yooooou think of those meatballs, hey?
If Jesus devoted his life to the effessem, then surely it will be so?
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-29-2007, 01:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PreachingthePasta2u View Post

If Jesus devoted his life to the effessem, then surely it will be so?
Ah haaaaaa! I getcha! As in ... effessem ...

... Our saucer which art in a colander, draining be your noodles ... thy noodle come, thy meatballness be done, on earth, as it is meaty in heaven ... give us this day our daily sauce ... etc etc etc

Well now, hmmm, I can just imagine what Jesus would say to that! He would say blasphemy!

... in Jesus' Name we pray, noodle nods

1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...

1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: The only REAL creator! - 08-29-2007, 12:32 PM
You mean Matt Groaning, "Creator" of the Godless "Simpsons?"

He's Hellbound. One of these days God is going to pack up him, Hellsinker and Lilith in a paper bag and toss it straight down to Hell. (Some folks call it Hades.)

You can probably even read all about it on Godly CNN if it's a slow week for Britney, Paris and the Usual Gang of Bimbosteins
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