Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 12:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
For all you "doubting thomasses" a sample menu for an Un-gay man.
Raw oysters on the half shell and Budweisser till she looks good.
|
I'm not a big fan of raw fish, as it makes me feel like a chink slurping down his daily ration of slimy eel flesh.
I think the dietary path to genuine manhood for a recent homer might be closer to my daily menu. Biscuits and pork scrapple gravy for breakfast, 5 pounds of pot roast and mashed potatoes smothered in butter for lunch, and lashings of porterhouse steak for my supper. I like my porterhouse rare, by which I mean dragged by its horns through a warm room.
With this diet, and the help of our Savior, I avoid being contaminated by any fruits or vegetables, and I maintain my masculine, manly physique.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 12:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BornAgain
I'd say that the anti-meat, pro-vegetable agenda has caused a surge in homerism. Secular nutritionists condemn Godly meals such as bacon and eggs and a nice steak, claiming it causes "heart disease" and "colon cancer", hogwash!
True Christians™ know that God is responsible for sickness and disease, as a punishment for sin and depravity. I'm always sure to put extra salt on my bacon!
|
Yes, it is true meat promotes hetro sexuality; it is widly said that the smell of Glendora sizzling hot meat will drive the gay right out of a man.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 01:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Yes, it is true meat promotes hetro sexuality; it is widly said that the smell of Glendora sizzling hot meat will drive the gay right out of a man.
|
ah, would that be the smell of Glendora's cooking? or of her? that you're referring to?
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
|
|
Godly dariy farmer from Kowhitirangi Region
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 6
Join Date: Mar 2007
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 02:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Yes, it is true meat promotes hetro sexuality; it is widly said that the smell of Glendora sizzling hot meat will drive the gay right out of a man.
|
They havent got no right being gay -- or ruddy poofters as we call them down on the farm -- in the first place. There is no place for poofters or girlie men in the farming community. Its not natural. I don't care what these pansy university types or girlie men civil righters say, this gay bisiness is not natural behavior. what those gay people do is unnatural and filthy to. We dont have no gay people down on the farm just real men and good home cooked meals that are cooked by decent faming type women.
|
|
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 02:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milkerman
They havent got no right being gay -- or ruddy poofters as we call them down on the farm -- in the first place. There is no place for poofters or girlie men in the farming community. Its not natural. I don't care what these pansy university types or girlie men civil righters say, this gay bisiness is not natural behavior. what those gay people do is unnatural and filthy to. We dont have no gay people down on the farm just real men and good home cooked meals that are cooked by decent faming type women.
|
See, that's because you eat right. No zucchini or bananas for you!
|
|
Godly dariy farmer from Kowhitirangi Region
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 6
Join Date: Mar 2007
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 02:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I'm not a big fan of raw fish, as it makes me feel like a chink slurping down his daily ration of slimy eel flesh.
I think the dietary path to genuine manhood for a recent homer might be closer to my daily menu. Biscuits and pork scrapple gravy for breakfast, 5 pounds of pot roast and mashed potatoes smothered in butter for lunch, and lashings of porterhouse steak for my supper. I like my porterhouse rare, by which I mean dragged by its horns through a warm room.
With this diet, and the help of our Savior, I avoid being contaminated by any fruits or vegetables, and I maintain my masculine, manly physique.
|
Hello Pastor,
What happened to teh signature that I was supposed to have on my post? I keep telling people that this here Internet web thing doesnt work properly and I'm reight. It never works like it supposed to.
Proper food is like we have down on the farm and its like God meant for us. Bacon egges sausgages and maybe toast for breakfast lots of sandwitches at lunch time with plenty of meat and eggs and cheese in them. And beef or other meat at dinner with spuds. Plenty of meat for people who do real work.
The answer lies in Jesus prayer and the soil.
|
|
Godly dariy farmer from Kowhitirangi Region
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 6
Join Date: Mar 2007
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 02:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
ah, would that be the smell of Glendora's cooking? or of her? that you're referring to?
|
I dont mean to be rude Mr Lee, but I hope that Miss Glendora is not one of these tarted up women who pongs of poofter French perfume and silly soaps that are probably made by poofters to. You know I wouln't swap my Gladys for a dozen of those tarted up fancy dames. She may not look that flash but when it comes to washing up and scrubbing the pots and pans clean shed leave them so far behind you wouldnt have no race. And I tell you that all a woman needs is a bit of warm water and some decent old-fashioned soap to end up smelling fine. I reckon that my Gladys is much closer to what God meant a woman to be than those silly dames in the magazines. Look at those harlots like that Paris hotel woman and the one without any underclothes -- briteney whatever. Can you see them going out at 5:30am to get the cows in for milking. No never done a days work in there lives. useless hussys.
The answer lies in Jesus prayer and the soil.
|
|
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 02:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milkerman
I dont mean to be rude Mr Lee, but I hope that Miss Glendora is not one of these tarted up women who pongs of poofter French perfume and silly soaps that are probably made by poofters to. You know I wouln't swap my Gladys for a dozen of those tarted up fancy dames. She may not look that flash but when it comes to washing up and scrubbing the pots and pans clean shed leave them so far behind you wouldnt have no race. And I tell you that all a woman needs is a bit of warm water and some decent old-fashioned soap to end up smelling fine. I reckon that my Gladys is much closer to what God meant a woman to be than those silly dames in the magazines. Look at those harlots like that Paris hotel woman and the one without any underclothes -- briteney whatever. Can you see them going out at 5:30am to get the cows in for milking. No never done a days work in there lives. useless hussys.
|
Is Gladys your wife, your sister, your cow, or more than one of the above?
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 04:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milkerman
Hello Pastor,
What happened to teh signature that I was supposed to have on my post? I keep telling people that this here Internet web thing doesnt work properly and I'm reight. It never works like it supposed to.
|
Friend,
Let me suggest that you venture over to our "introduction" thread and spend some time actually introducing yourself. We like to get to know the unsaved heathens who wander into God's favorite forum.
By the way, here in America, we don't know what "poofters" are. I assume you have your dairy farm in belgium or some other third-world country?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 04:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Milkerman
And I tell you that all a woman needs is a bit of warm water and some decent old-fashioned soap to end up smelling fine.
|
One of the most noble True Christian™ sentiments anyone has expressed on this holy Board in a long time, even if you are from Belgium.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-08-2007, 06:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
ah, would that be the smell of Glendora's cooking? or of her? that you're referring to?
|
I would assume her cooking. Brother Lee, I hope you haven't been confused by that lewd minded Canadian harlot Allie.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
Foul Sinner on Moderation
|
|
Posts: 141
Join Date: Mar 2007
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 02:12 AM
I quite like fruit and faggots ad coloured underwear - does tha make me unworthy by your beliefs?
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 1,437
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 02:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bonzo2
I quite like fruit and faggots ad coloured underwear - does tha make me unworthy by your beliefs?
|
Not necessarily, but playing hide the sausage another guy certainly does.
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
|
|
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 03:29 PM
Dear Lord! I forgot about certain kinds of cake! NO! NO! NO!
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 279
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: RUT battlefield
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 03:39 PM
You all have homophobia.
|
|
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter
You all have homophobia.
|
??
We're not scared of homersexuals...
We only want them dead, as God commands.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 1,437
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Twenty minutes from hell- I mean Washington DC
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 03:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter
You all have homophobia.
|
Not at all. Are you saying that you're a homer, and you're afraid of us by chance? Fear not, for now anyway. God has commanded us to obey secular law. It is illegal to stone homers to heats, as written in scripture, so we must wait until those nasty LIE-beral laws have been abolished.
"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
|
|
Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 05:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter
You all have homophobia.
|
To paraphrase the Godly Alessandra Mussolini, I'd rather have "homophobia" (whatever that is) than AIDS.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 07:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter
You all have homophobia.
|
Are you saying being analy raped is nothing to be afraid of friend?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: The Un-Gay Diet or Anti-Homo-Pasta? -
03-11-2007, 09:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
Are you saying being analy raped is nothing to be afraid of friend?
|
It is the risk one takes when ministering to the homosexual, as time and time and time again Dr. Dobson has discovered.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|