[Converter]

Hello, friends, I'm back. For many weeks I've been up north in the horrible country of Iceland struggling to convert the heathen lutherans (Or as I like to call them, Luciferans). I'm telling you, everybody, the people there are barely past worshipping thor. Thank the Lord America is better than that filthy old third-world country.

But I'm back now and it's great to have a computer to speak to you with. Unfortunately, while I was gone, a good friend of mine (A True Christian™ who obeys the teachings of Jesus Christ our Savior and works hard daily as a Church-volunteer) had his cousin go insane and become a homer. We're all shocked and bewildered by this. Up until now he always seemed like a good person.

I'm wondering what we should do. We're considering stoning, but his family wants to use that just as a last resort. They're trying to get rid of his gayness first and see how that works.

Now this is my main question: They're trying to get him married to a nice girl who'll straighten him out, but I can't help but worry... I know it'll get rid of his gayness if he has children, but should we allow gays to reproduce? What if he passes on his disease?

I'm leaning towards a straightforward stoning right now.

[VictoryOS]

Most of us have always been strong proponents of castration in these sorts of cases. Of course, the courts don't back us up on that. Oh Jesus, please come soon! We need you now!

[Converter]

That hadn't occurred to me! Very clever of you! I'll suggest it next time I see my friend!
Don't worry about the courts, though. If he's castrated I imagine he won't be courting anyone.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Originally Posted by VictoryOS

Most of us have always been strong proponents of castration in these sorts of cases. Of course, the courts don't back us up on that. Oh Jesus, please come soon! We need you now!

Speaking of which, where IS Brother BAB?

[Unfalsifiable]

Homosexuality, like cancer, grows in people. Sometimes you need to chop it off, castration. However, other times God will heal it for the victim as a hand towards salvation (proving gays CAN change).

Grimly, however, sometimes the victim will be completely consumed by the condition and die. Be it inside, or physically.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I am unfamiliar with the secular laws of Iceland. Would it be legal to just toss him into a volcano, or one of those scalding hot pools of water they have up there?

[Converter]

No, but I doubt they'd be able to tell if he was. Flaming homos burn up fast.

[Bob4God]

Castrating gays is something that the media and ACLU liberals like to twist and hype up like it's some horrible tragedy. Yet they don't even raise an eyebrow to mass graves in Iraq when America needs support.

Contrary to what these freaks say, castration can be a very clean and quick procedure that may just save somebody from the pits of hell!

Find a Christian doctor, or an upright farmer who has experience in cutting livestock. All you'll need are some sedatives, rubbing alcohol, stitches and a sharpened knife. Read scripture to him before, during and after the surgery, and keep an eye on the Godly wound for about two weeks. After the swelling, pain and mental shock are gone, he'll thank you for it!

[farranykelly]

Originally Posted by Converter

No, but I doubt they'd be able to tell if he was. Flaming homos burn up fast.

castrating your gay son is the thing to do. Having a God fearing farmer castrate him using a knife is a very severe method of castration. Much better if the farmer uses Burdizzo pincers to crush the young mans spermatic cords that lead from hiss balls. Have his hands fastened together and get the farmer to raise him clear of the ground using a hoist.. Have a youth stand each side of your gay son and pull can pull his legs wide apart. The farmer will will now have clear access to the young mans balls and he can go to work on him with his Burdizzo.
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[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by farranykelly

...castrating your gay son is the thing to do...

Reading skills not your strong point? They're not talking about anyone's son, but someone's "friend's cousin" (yeah, like no one's heard _that_ before).

But thanks for your input (5 years later). I'm sure they've been standing by, waiting for your approval.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by farranykelly

castrating your gay son is the thing to do. Having a God fearing farmer castrate him using a knife is a very severe method of castration. Much better if the farmer uses Burdizzo pincers to crush the young mans spermatic cords that lead from hiss balls. Have his hands fastened together and get the farmer to raise him clear of the ground using a hoist.. Have a youth stand each side of your gay son and pull can pull his legs wide apart. The farmer will will now have clear access to the young mans balls and he can go to work on him with his Burdizzo.
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Please go to the introductory thread to introduce your self to the forum.

YIC

[farranykelly]

I was only joking.

[farranykelly]

I was only joking.

[Didymus Much]

Originally Posted by farranykelly

I was only joking.

What makes you think humour has any place on this forum?

[boob (idiot)]

Originally Posted by Converter

Hello, friends, I'm back. For many weeks I've been up north in the horrible country of Iceland struggling to convert the heathen lutherans (Or as I like to call them, Luciferans). I'm telling you, everybody, the people there are barely past worshipping thor. Thank the Lord America is better than that filthy old third-world country.

But I'm back now and it's great to have a computer to speak to you with. Unfortunately, while I was gone, a good friend of mine (A True Christian™ who obeys the teachings of Jesus Christ our Savior and works hard daily as a Church-volunteer) had his cousin go insane and become a homer. We're all shocked and bewildered by this. Up until now he always seemed like a good person.

I'm wondering what we should do. We're considering stoning, but his family wants to use that just as a last resort. They're trying to get rid of his gayness first and see how that works.

Now this is my main question: They're trying to get him married to a nice girl who'll straighten him out, but I can't help but worry... I know it'll get rid of his gayness if he has children, but should we allow gays to reproduce? What if he passes on his disease?

I'm leaning towards a straightforward stoning right now.

...If Christianity never existed, the world would be a better place.

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by boobies12

...If Christianity never existed, the world would be a better place.

But then again, everybody would go to Hell after their death (John 14:6).

[see_the_light]

Originally Posted by boobies12

...If Christianity never existed, the world would be a better place.

There is a special corner in hell for those that bump dead threads to insult JESUS.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[boob (idiot)]

not if HELL DIDN'T EXIST

[boob (idiot)]

Originally Posted by Converter

No, but I doubt they'd be able to tell if he was. Flaming homos burn up fast.

oh my dear lord, A HOMOSEXUAL IS A REGULAR PERSON. WHEN ADDRESSING ONE, YOU SAY A PERSON BECAUSE THEY ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM YOU, NO THAT IS AN INSULT TO ANY PERSON ON THE PLANET THAT LIKES THE SAME GENDER, YOU ARE A DIFFERENT SPECIES OF HUMAN THAT IS A PLAGUE UPON MANKIND!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by boobies12

oh my dear lord, A HOMOSEXUAL IS A REGULAR PERSON. WHEN ADDRESSING ONE, YOU SAY A PERSON BECAUSE THEY ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM YOU, NO THAT IS AN INSULT TO ANY PERSON ON THE PLANET THAT LIKES THE SAME GENDER, YOU ARE A DIFFERENT SPECIES OF HUMAN THAT IS A PLAGUE UPON MANKIND!

Speak for yourself, son. A homo is remarkably different from me. I have morals. I don't have any desire to use and abuse children as sexual conquests. I love my country. I love my family. I pay my taxes. I resolve conflict in peaceful means. I don't rape anyone and I don't support rape gangs or the Gay Agenda. I don't hate Jesus, I love Him. I am eternally grateful for His temporary sacrifice for my sake! I would lay down my life for Him! I would sacrifice my own child if He commanded it! I would do anything He asks of me, and I would not hesitate. If He were to turn His Holy face away from me and throw me into the depths of Hell, I would still Praise His Holy Name and Worship His Holiness for all eternity!