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Default Ooga Booga Nigra "Pastors" Use Crude Methods - 07-15-2007, 06:14 AM

You know these boys over in africa are almost cute in the childish way they try and emulate True Christian Tithing practices. They're on the right track, but the big difference between them and us is that we aren't under investigation.

Quote:
Uganda: Police Start Hunt for Wired Pastors

Police are investigating the conduct of churches for born-again Christians in the wake of rising cases of pastors’ impropriety. Police publicist Asan Kasingye said all allegations - from sodomy to fraud - would be investigated.

The detectives will be interested in the idea of “sowing”, the term used to describe the generous tithes that pastors manipulate churchgoers into giving in the honest expectation of miracles.

“We are out to find out really if these [pastors] are using tricks to obtain people’s property [and money],” Mr Kasingye said. It also emerged yesterday that there are “ongoing consultations” expected to lead to a policy that regulates the activities of the Pentecostals or balokole, as born-again Christians are popularly called.

Pastor Martin Sempa of Makerere Community Church said there were “quacks” among the balokole, including those who are “willing to go to Satan to receive power”.

Allegations against some of the church ministers now include sodomy and dubious miracle healing.

The latest incident has been the interrogation by police of Yeboah Nana Kojo, the Ghanaian-born Kampala pastor who allegedly procured an “electric touch” machine that is believed to deliver Holy Spirit-like shock.

“I believe people can pray and God heals, but we have manipulated people,” said Pastor Solomon Male of the Arising for Christ Ministries. “There is a cover-up.”

The temporary arrest of Mr Kojo on July 5, and the possibility that many more pastors use the machine on unsuspecting worshipers desperate for a better in life in the context of poverty and disease, has stoked cynicism over the genuineness of exorcisms and miracle healings that have come to be identified with the Pentecostals.

The manual of Mr Kojo’s gadget, which was confiscated by police, says the user needs to be “creative” with the machine, while an Internet ad declares: “Without a doubt, you will shock people.”

On yigalmesika.com, the website for the gadget’s makers, it is said that their products “are incredibly innovative, clever and a must for those who want to create miracles anywhere at anytime”. It adds: “Everything you touch will turn to excitement.”

The gadget, which can be worn like a corset on the body or under the sole of a shoe, can generate up to 12 volts, enough current to “pleasantly” shock dozens at a time.

According to the users’ manual, “once your body is charged, you are able to transfer this electricity to other objects that are grounded or people”.

Mr Kojo, who was arrested and interrogated at Entebbe Airport on July 5 after he attempted to clear the gadget into the country, has claimed it was a birthday gift for his teenage children.

“This is an old machine; it’s a toy. Children in developed countries play with it as a toy under the supervision of adults,” said Mr Augustus Sewankambo, Mr Kojo’s lawyer. “Obiri’s twins who stay in the UK had come to Uganda to celebrate their birthday with him and use the machine on the ceremony.”

“When a person is hit and he falls today, the following Sunday he will fall to the ground before he is hit,” he said. “People do not know that that is a machine because they have been made to believe that Holy Spirit power is shocking power.”

Kampala lawyer Ladislaus Rwakafuuzi said Mr Kojo could face charges that fall under the general offence of false pretences with the possibility of serving up to five years in jail if found guilty.

“There are three possible offences: disturbing religious assemblies, stupefying in order to commit a misdemeanour, and even assault,” Mr Rwakafuuzi said.
HAHAHAhahaha....Oh please! That's a good one! Ha ha ha ha ha I have to remember that...."It was a present for my teenagers. All the kids over in normal White countries play with electric shock machines!"


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Ooga Booga Nigra "Pastors" Use Crude Methods - 07-15-2007, 10:49 AM

This story is even better than it seems: I've been in contact with this Kojo fellow, and in a spirit of loving Christian charity, I've volunteered to help him move his money out of the country, so the secular Ug-andan government can't get their primitive paws on it. All we need to do is give him the details of the largest Church offshore account, and he'll do the rest. Pastor is going to be so pleased with me when he hears about this!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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