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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Howard L. Schlangern Howard L. Schlangern is offline
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Default Hello and blessings - 06-08-2016, 07:44 PM

Dear Forum,

I am Rev. Howard Lee Schlangern and I pastor the Holy Ghost Church in Jesus Name located at Coal Creek, West Virginia. We are a small but fervent congregation. As of now we are only a small handful of unyoked women and myself. The men and boys have passed on to be with Jesus after various infirmities related to snake bites, strychnine and idleness.

I've happened upon your blessed site while recovering from last Sunday night's service when I was struck with the serpent's venom for a third time that night. God is testing my faith but I am happy to see such a wonderful presence on this wicked thing called The Internet. It seems as though everywhere I go on this depraved device there are women folk speaking out of turn and showing their ankles and wrists and even more, if that can even be believed. It's a wicked and vile thing and Satan tempts in every corner of this evil Web, while God surely protects this Holy site.

I came to Jesus when I became a man at 8 years old during a revival up in Salt Creek a few miles north of our cabin. I received the Holy Ghost that same night and took up a snake to obey and be assured of Godly protection. He has been faithful to me as I have been to Him and I've practiced this beautiful Old Time Religion in bad and good times, Amen.

My favorite bible verse is from Mark 16:18~

"18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."

When I am not preaching, snake handling or shepherding my flock, and my time happens to turns to idleness, the Holy Ghost quickens me to busking outside the General Store. There I play the fiddle or jug to the glory of God, sharing with the unsaved the blessings of their Eternal Hell-fire. Hallelujah! Anyways, my snake just woke up and needs tending to. I have to finish this strychnine and stroke my snake in time for tonight's revival.

~
Rev. H.L. Schlangern


"And when the barbarians saw the venomous beast hang on his hand, they said among themselves. No doubt this man is a murderer. And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm. Howbeit they looked when he should have swollen, or fallen down dead suddenly: but after they had looked a great while, and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds, and said that he was a god." ~ Acts 28:4-6
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Default Re: Hello and blessings - 06-08-2016, 08:08 PM

Welcome, Reverend! Any friend of is a friend of mine! It must be exciting to preach the Good News among the nation's most ignorant and simple people! Your testimony has moved me to tithe with even more passion! Knowing that Salvation is one leather-bound Bible away, I cannot in good conscience rest knowing there's more work to be done!

Are you married, Reverend? Have you been in the ministry long? Would you like to share a story how God blessed you or someone near you with a bona fide miracle?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Howard L. Schlangern Howard L. Schlangern is offline
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Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Hello and blessings - 06-09-2016, 01:19 PM

Dear Sister Mary,

Thank you for the warm welcome. It is indeed a blessing to serve the least of these; the few who have not been corrupted by mankind's science and reason. For I believe the Bible [KJV] contains all that is needed for a healthy education.

I am a recent widower, my fourth wife [Enid] passed due to complications from pneumoconiosis. She spent most of her life working the mines often taking the young ones who were not yet weaned. She was 52. I married my first wife [Myrtle] at the late age of 14, the same year I took up pastoring. I'm now 77. Myrtle caught consumption and died after 5 years of marriage. My second wife [Gussie] did not show evidence of her virginity on our wedding night, so as per obedience to The Lord, the congregation cut her off from its midst and she was left outside the town with just the clothes on her back. She went on her way, into destruction. My third wife [Astrid] died while giving birth to a daughter. Unfortunately, the daughter didn't die as well and join her mother in meeting Jesus. There's not a day that I don't pray for them to meet again.

I have 18 sons from four marriages; Gilbert, Willard, Horace, Wilbert, Ivan, Melville, Arlin, Vergil, Enos, Arlin, Arley, Melville the Younger, Ardell, Delmer, Sumner, Arvin, Burnell, and Junior. I also have 12 daughters.

As far as miracles, why we just witnessed many last night at our revival! We had a visiting evangelist and he grew legs back that were previously uneven. He performed surgery with his bare hands, removing tumors we didn't even know about. Our 98 year old precious Sister Mildred walked after being chair bound for 42 years. She's resting and shut-in today but we're excited to see her walking again this Sunday. We watched as many touched fire and were not burned, handled snakes and were not bitten. What a friend we have in Jesus!

In Christ,

~Rev. H.L. Schlangern


"And when the barbarians saw the venomous beast hang on his hand, they said among themselves. No doubt this man is a murderer. And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm. Howbeit they looked when he should have swollen, or fallen down dead suddenly: but after they had looked a great while, and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds, and said that he was a god." ~ Acts 28:4-6
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Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
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Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
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Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello and blessings - 06-10-2016, 04:16 PM

Just hearing about those miracles lit a fire in my heart! I love to hear how the LORD works in His Mysterious ways in today's world! People love to try and pass things off as "coincidence" or "science" or "you're just to brainwashed to get it," but we know -- the LORD moves mightily among those who believe!

I look forward to fellowshiping with you more. You're welcome to participate in any thread here and join the chorus of Brothers and Sisters in Christ singing the praises of Jesus, and sharing the Good News that He is going to send every single person on Earth who doesn’t believe in Him straight to Hell!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Howard L. Schlangern Howard L. Schlangern is offline
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Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Hello and blessings - 06-10-2016, 06:21 PM

Bless you Sister Mary and your words of encouragement. I look forward to spreading the seed of the Good News on this site and the entire World Wide Web!

In Christ,


~Rev. H.L. Schlangern


"And when the barbarians saw the venomous beast hang on his hand, they said among themselves. No doubt this man is a murderer. And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm. Howbeit they looked when he should have swollen, or fallen down dead suddenly: but after they had looked a great while, and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds, and said that he was a god." ~ Acts 28:4-6
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GlitteryGuts GlitteryGuts is offline
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Default Re: Hello and blessings - 06-11-2016, 01:25 AM

Hello, blessings!

Rev. Howard, I hope you find friends in Christ as I hope to here as well!


YIC,
Nicholas


I walk with Christ. I run a christ-centered church with my wife, Erin.
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Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
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Default Re: Hello and blessings - 06-11-2016, 09:31 AM

Rev. Howard, forgive me for asking, but what with all this snake handling, I can't help but wonder if you're a Pentecostal?

Pentecostals do not preach a sound doctrine!


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Howard L. Schlangern Howard L. Schlangern is offline
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Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 20
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Coal Creek, West Virginia
Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Howard L. Schlangern has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Hello and blessings - 06-12-2016, 11:31 AM

Dear Faith_Machine,

I assure you we adhere to the proper conventions regarding worship, and as commanded by the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 14, we are mindful to~


40 Let all things be done decently and in order.


God bless you for keeping a keen eye [physical and spiritual] on those even in the flock, as Satan is a wiley creature, always tempting and corrupting


~Rev. H.L. Schlangern


"And when the barbarians saw the venomous beast hang on his hand, they said among themselves. No doubt this man is a murderer. And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm. Howbeit they looked when he should have swollen, or fallen down dead suddenly: but after they had looked a great while, and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds, and said that he was a god." ~ Acts 28:4-6
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